* Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da, ba-da-ba-da-ba *
* Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go!
* We'll be there
* A wink and a smile and a great old time *
* Yeah, we'll be there
* Wherever we are, there's some fun to be found *
* We'll be there when you turn that corner *
* We'll jump out the bush
* With a big bear hug and a smile *
**
Announcer: Welcome to...Bro Brawl --
the action-packed show that tests your skill, strength,
and brotherhood to determine who are the ultimate bros.
And now here's the star of our show --
Brody Brogan!
'Sup, everybody? Are you ready for...
Bro Brawl?
I love you, Brody!
Whoo!
We have another exciting one coming at you today.
Give it up for Grizz, Panda, and Ice Cube!
Hey, everyone! Hello! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
And our other team of brothers are actually roommates.
Give it up for Griff, Issac, and Tom!
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Huh? Huh?
Wh-What? Twinsies!
Hm? Wait.
-Huh? Panda? -Huh? Oop!
-What are you -- Oop! -What are you -- Oop!
-Uh, how did you -- Oop! -Uh, how did you -- Oop!
Wait, you go first.
Okay. What -- What are you doing here?
I'm here to kidnap you again.
-What?! -I'm just kidding.
Ouch! No fraternizing with enemy.
Well, lookie here!
Seems like our friends Tom and Panda have met before.
Awkward!
Now, let's get to know our bros.
Bears, tell us about yourselves.
Well, I'm happily self-unemployed,
taking care of my two baby bros.
Ice Bear likes to cook.
And I am single and ready to mingle.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Laughs ] How about our next group of guys?
Hey, what's up? I'm Griff.
I'm a renegade cop who protects the streets
and keeps them clean.
Issac is a five-star chef.
And I have a girlfriend!
[ Cheers and applause ]
What?
And now our bros are ready to battle it out
because the winner gets to go home to...
a brand-new smart apartment
with an indoor basketball court, a fully-stocked kitchen,
and upstairs, a private art studio.
[ Gasps ] That is the sickest pad I've ever seen!
Guys, we gotta win this! We need that apartment so bad!
Ice Bear needs dream fridge... and personal space.
All right, folks, it's time for another round of Bro Brawl!
Announcer: Bro Brawl!
All right, bros, we're got Grizz and Griff up first.
For two points, let's see who can help their bros
cross the street while fending off bullies along the way.
Awe, sweet! I've done police tactical training just like this.
-Uh...same! -But be warned --
not everyone is out to get your bros.
So, don't hurt the innocent bystanders.
Got it? Good?
Bros, take your marks.
Get set.
Bro!
[ Panting ]
-I'm mean. -[ Grunts ]
-[ Panting ] -'Sup, killa?
-[ Grunts ] -[ Panting ]
-[ Grunts ] -[ Screams ]
Muffins, time for breakfast!
[ Grunts ] [ Buzzer ]
Brody: Oh! Bad call, Grizz.
Clearly someone's grandma and not a bully.
Oh, no! That was an accident!
Oh!
-Oh, I'm sorry! -Oh!
[ Grunts ] Noooooo!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[ Panting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Screams ]
Mwah! Oh! [ Audience "Awws" ]
Whoo! [ Air horn blows ]
Ha ha! Well, it's pretty clear who won this challenge.
Let's give it up for Griff!
Uh, guys? Help! [ Cats meowing ]
Announcer: Bro Brawl!
All right, dudes, this round is about your skill,
not only as a brother but in the kitchen.
Ice Bear will mince you like fresh garlic.
Issac will flambé you like baked Alaska.
Your challenge today is to cook only with what's available.
**
The best chef will be awarded four points.
On your mark. Get set.
Bro!
**
These are some unbelievable moves performed by both bros.
Slicing and dicing like it's second nature.
[ Audience "Ahhs" ]
They're turning up the heat.
Blood, sweat, and tears --
these are the ingredients to make the perfect bro.
Never in my years as a host
have I seen a more fierce competition, folks.
We are down to the last few seconds.
Join me in the countdown!
7...6...5...4...3...2...1!
[ Air horn blows ] Time's up, bros!
[ Both panting ]
To judge this course,
I'd like to introduce my own brother,
Broseph Brogan!
It's an honor to be here, bro.
Now, let's give these meals a try.
First up, we've got Issac.
Mmm.
Mmm! Mmm!
Delicious!
Ahh...
Next is Ice Cube.
Mmm!
Wow, these two dishes are simply amazing.
It's so close, I might have to go with a tie --
[ Coughs ] Oh, man.
[ Audience murmurs ]
Maybe not. Well, that was unpleasant.
Looks like the winner is Team Issac.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Brody: Ooh, things do not look good for Team Bears,
but who knows what will happen in our next challenge
that is worth 6 points!
All right, Panda and Tom, let's begin your challenge!
Awe, heck yes! It's Tom time!
Audience: Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
[ Laughs ] That's me! Tom!
A good brother knows it's important
for bros to express themselves.
That's why our next challenge is about fashion!
[ Cheering ]
Man: Looking good, Brody!
You'll have two minutes to get your bros looking fresh.
The bros with the best looks wins!
Ready...get set...
bro! [ Air horn blows ]
-I'll clothe you, brothers! -Ah!
Uh, fashion...fashion...
Looks like Team Panda is off to a rough start,
but look at Tom go!
Yes! I found jorts!
Oh, come on, Panda! Focus!
You can do this! You've trained for this!
[ Heart beating ]
**
Oh! I know what to do!
And it looks like both bros have found their groove!
But that clock is ticking fast.
* Strut that thang
* That thang * One more time
* Come on and do it * Side to side
* Flex those hips Just a few seconds remain!
5...4...3...2...1!
[ Air horn blows ] Times up!
Let's see how they did, folks.
Team Panda, these are some extremely fine-looking bros!
[ Gasps ] [ Cheering ]
Ice Bear likes wearing outfit almost as much as being nude.
Team Tom, I'm impressed
with how bad these outfits are!
[ Sad chord plays ]
Uh, I think this shirt is pants.
Looks like both teams will be moving to the final round.
We'll be right back after these messages.
Announcer: Bro Brawl!
Whoa! Great job, Panda!
Ah! I never realized you had so much talent!
Ice Bear's ready for catwalk. -Ahh, thanks, guys.
I feel like we might actually be able to do this!
I'm gonna go use the bathroom before the final round.
Man, we look good.
Hey, Brody, can we keep these outfits?
[ Laughs ] Absolutely not!
[ Humming ]
[ Sobbing ]
Huh? Hey? He-- Hey, is someone here?
[ Sobbing continues ]
No!
Tom?
Don't look at me!
Oh, Tom, don't cry.
Your outfits weren't that bad.
That-- That's not it.
[ Sniffles ]
[ Blows noise ]
Y-You don't get it, Panda.
I-If you lose, you still get to go home
and be with your bros. [ Sniffles ]
If I lose, I won't have bros or a home anymore!
What are you talking about?
[ Sniffles ] It's -- It's our apartment.
We can't afford it anymore.
If we don't win this new one, we're going to have to split up.
I don't want to lose my bros.
Oh, Tom. I'm sure it'll be okay. Maybe you could che--
[ Door opens ] Evan: Hey, guys. Crying time's over.
Need you back on set.
Announcer: Bro Brawl!
It's almost time for our bros to face off
in the new super-secret-brotasticle obstacle course!
Okay, bros, let's do our best and win that sweet pad.
Ice Bear ready to kick bro butt.
Oh, and we could throw a huge victory party at our new place!
Panda, you okay?
What? Yeah! No, I'm great!
Yep, let's do this thing.
-1, 2, 3 -- -Bears!
Brody: And our first bros get into position.
Hm.
Get ready...get set...
bro! [ Air horn blows ]
And they're off!
They'll scale the tower of dirty dishes
to retrieve flag number 1.
And it's neck and neck as they pass off their flags.
They will dive into the tub and unplug the bathroom drain
to find flag number 2.
Wow, they sure made quick work of that challenge!
And they pass to the final bros!
First, they'll have to make it through
the greasy, old pizza box.
Blech! What is this even made of?
Aw!
Next, they'll scale the stack of overdue library books
featuring a copy of my new memoir.
And they're still neck and neck
going into the dirty laundry obstacle.
Aah!
Now they just have to make it over the pit
of dirty underwear. [ Grunts ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Panting ]
-Oh! -Huh?
Oh -- Aah!
Aah! So unclean!
Huh? Oh...
I don't want to lose my bros.
-Huh? Tom! -We won't even have a home.
That's me! Tom!
[ Crying ]
Ugh!
Oh, no! I've been caught by a terrible sock monster!
Oh, no!
Brody: I can't believe it! And...
Tom wins at the last second!
It's a bro-miracle!
Congratulations, bros.
Looks like tonight you'll be going home
to your brand-new luxury apartment!
Hey, guys, are you mad at me?
Nah, they look really happy.
[ Cheering, laughter ] Come here, Tom!
-Yeah. -You're a good bro, Panda.
Well, folks, don't forget to join us again
next week where we'll have a team of old bros
face off against a team of baby bros.
**
Done! Done! Done!