WEBVTT 00:00:40.363 --> 00:01:35.114 ..:: ارائه شده توسط وب سايت بلبل جان ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:01:40.363 --> 00:01:42.114 My name is Kathy H. 00:01:43.408 --> 00:01:45.284 I'm 28 years old. 00:01:48.580 --> 00:01:50.998 I've been a carer for nine years. 00:01:58.381 --> 00:02:00.340 And I'm good at my job. 00:02:01.176 --> 00:02:03.969 My patients always do better than expected 00:02:04.053 --> 00:02:06.054 and are hardly ever classified as agitated, 00:02:07.557 --> 00:02:10.350 even if they're about to make a donation. 00:02:13.354 --> 00:02:15.314 I'm not trying to boast, 00:02:15.398 --> 00:02:18.525 but I feel a great sense of pride in what we do. 00:02:19.527 --> 00:02:22.237 Carers and donors have achieved so much. 00:02:25.617 --> 00:02:27.868 That said, we aren't machines. 00:02:31.414 --> 00:02:33.624 In the end, it wears you down. 00:02:35.418 --> 00:02:39.880 I suppose that's why I now spend most of my time not looking forwards 00:02:39.964 --> 00:02:42.132 but looking back, 00:02:42.217 --> 00:02:45.427 to The Cottages and Hailsham, 00:02:46.179 --> 00:02:47.930 and what happened to us there. 00:02:49.432 --> 00:02:50.849 Me, 00:02:52.185 --> 00:02:54.102 Tommy, 00:02:54.771 --> 00:02:57.022 and Ruth. 00:02:57.440 --> 00:02:59.107 (BIRDS TWITTERING) 00:03:00.944 --> 00:03:02.486 (ORGAN PLAYING) 00:03:06.074 --> 00:03:11.662 ALL: (SINGING) When we are scattered afar and asunder 00:03:11.746 --> 00:03:16.500 Parted are those who are singing today 00:03:16.918 --> 00:03:22.089 When we look back and forgetfully wonder 00:03:22.340 --> 00:03:27.135 What we were like in our learning and play 00:03:27.762 --> 00:03:32.766 Oh, the great days will bring distance enchanted 00:03:33.131 --> 00:03:37.854 Days of fresh air in the rain and the sun 00:03:38.106 --> 00:03:43.151 How we rejoiced as we struggled and panted 00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:50.158 Echoes of dreamland, Hailsham lives on 00:03:57.083 --> 00:03:58.709 Good morning, students. 00:03:58.793 --> 00:04:01.670 CHILDREN: Good morning, Miss Emily. 00:04:02.797 --> 00:04:06.925 It has come to my attention that three burned cigarettes were discovered, 00:04:07.302 --> 00:04:10.387 hidden behind a pot in the flower garden. 00:04:12.682 --> 00:04:14.850 I know that on occasion students have seen 00:04:14.934 --> 00:04:18.729 some of the caretakers and deliverymen smoking cigarettes, 00:04:18.813 --> 00:04:23.275 but I must emphasize, once again, that it is much, much worse 00:04:23.359 --> 00:04:26.862 for a student of Hailsham to smoke cigarettes than anyone else. 00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:32.617 Students of Hailsham are special. 00:04:34.537 --> 00:04:38.707 Keeping yourselves well, keeping yourselves healthy inside, 00:04:38.791 --> 00:04:40.959 is of paramount importance. 00:04:41.294 --> 00:04:43.253 Have I made myself clear? 00:04:43.338 --> 00:04:45.464 CHILDREN: Yes, Miss Emily. 00:04:48.259 --> 00:04:51.720 RUTH: I think, one day, I'd like five horses. 00:04:52.764 --> 00:04:57.476 I don't know all their names, but I know I'd like five horses. 00:04:57.602 --> 00:04:59.311 The best would be Thunder. 00:04:59.395 --> 00:05:02.564 He'd be dangerous to ride, so you can't ride him. 00:05:03.649 --> 00:05:05.734 You can ride 00:05:06.694 --> 00:05:08.320 Bramble. 00:05:09.072 --> 00:05:12.157 Just so long as you don't use your crop on him. 00:05:13.785 --> 00:05:15.827 That's pretty. 00:05:15.912 --> 00:05:17.329 You have it. 00:05:17.413 --> 00:05:18.747 (CHUCKLES) 00:05:19.999 --> 00:05:22.918 Look. Who's that with Miss Emily? 00:05:24.420 --> 00:05:26.588 Do you think it's the new guardian? 00:05:26.672 --> 00:05:27.839 KATHY: Miss Lucy. 00:05:29.384 --> 00:05:31.301 I think it must be. 00:05:31.386 --> 00:05:34.012 We haven't had a new guardian for ages. 00:05:34.597 --> 00:05:36.348 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 00:05:46.443 --> 00:05:49.112 CHILDREN: (CHANTING) Arthur! Arthur! 00:05:53.033 --> 00:05:54.534 Catch it, Tommy. 00:06:09.299 --> 00:06:10.675 (LAUGHING) 00:06:14.596 --> 00:06:16.389 (GIRLS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 00:06:17.266 --> 00:06:19.851 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 00:06:21.603 --> 00:06:23.229 Excuse me, Miss Lucy? 00:06:23.647 --> 00:06:25.898 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 00:06:26.733 --> 00:06:27.942 When it bounced over the fence, 00:06:28.026 --> 00:06:29.402 it couldn't have been far from him. 00:06:30.070 --> 00:06:32.447 The fence is the boundary of the Hailsham grounds. 00:06:32.573 --> 00:06:35.241 We don't go outside the boundary, Miss Lucy. 00:06:35.492 --> 00:06:37.243 It's too dangerous. 00:06:37.703 --> 00:06:39.162 Dangerous? 00:06:39.246 --> 00:06:41.873 RUTH: There was once a boy who had a big row with all his friends 00:06:41.957 --> 00:06:44.333 and then ran off beyond the boundary. 00:06:44.418 --> 00:06:48.629 They found him, two days later, in the woods. Tied to a tree. 00:06:49.173 --> 00:06:50.756 With his hands and feet cut off. 00:06:51.550 --> 00:06:52.800 Dead. 00:06:53.594 --> 00:06:55.553 RUTH: And there was the girl who climbed over the fence, 00:06:55.637 --> 00:06:56.971 by the front gate. 00:06:57.055 --> 00:07:00.308 And when she tried to get back, she wasn't allowed. 00:07:00.601 --> 00:07:03.227 And then she starved. Out there. 00:07:03.937 --> 00:07:05.688 Right by the gates. 00:07:08.442 --> 00:07:09.609 Who told you these stories? 00:07:10.152 --> 00:07:12.195 RUTH: Everybody knows them. 00:07:12.446 --> 00:07:14.113 And how do you know they're true? 00:07:14.448 --> 00:07:15.448 Of course they're true. 00:07:16.033 --> 00:07:18.826 Who'd make up stories as horrible as that? 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:21.913 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 00:07:26.251 --> 00:07:28.628 (CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 00:07:45.562 --> 00:07:48.356 Tommy, what are you doing? 00:07:48.649 --> 00:07:50.775 What is it, exactly? 00:07:50.859 --> 00:07:53.653 I think it must be a dog. Is it a dog, Tommy? 00:07:54.029 --> 00:07:56.572 ARTHUR: It can't be a dog. lts eyes are too small. 00:07:56.782 --> 00:07:59.158 I think it must be a kind of rat. 00:07:59.243 --> 00:08:01.035 Yes, that's it. Tommy's drawn a rat. 00:08:01.119 --> 00:08:02.203 It's not finished yet. 00:08:02.287 --> 00:08:04.288 That's right. You haven't finished the whiskers. 00:08:04.373 --> 00:08:06.332 Do you think Tommy's rat will be selected for The Gallery? 00:08:06.416 --> 00:08:07.959 TOMMY: It's not a rat. 00:08:10.712 --> 00:08:12.338 It's an elephant. 00:08:12.464 --> 00:08:14.340 GERALDINE: Children, back to work. 00:08:23.475 --> 00:08:25.309 (DEVICE BEEPS) 00:08:27.646 --> 00:08:29.355 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 00:08:34.027 --> 00:08:36.571 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 00:08:44.454 --> 00:08:47.582 He's got his shirt on. His favorite polo shirt. 00:08:48.834 --> 00:08:51.210 RUTH: He really doesn't suspect a thing. 00:08:51.295 --> 00:08:52.878 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 00:08:53.213 --> 00:08:55.506 BOY: Looks like no one wants you, Tommy. 00:08:56.133 --> 00:08:57.675 (BOYS LAUGHING) 00:09:02.889 --> 00:09:04.265 (YELLING) 00:09:04.349 --> 00:09:05.933 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 00:09:06.810 --> 00:09:08.644 What's he doing? 00:09:08.770 --> 00:09:10.146 (YELLING CONTINUES) It's his own fault. 00:09:10.230 --> 00:09:13.691 If he learnt to keep his cool, they'd leave him alone. 00:09:13.859 --> 00:09:15.818 TOMMY: I hate you! I hate you all! 00:09:15.902 --> 00:09:17.111 GIRL: Kath... No, don't! 00:09:18.905 --> 00:09:20.448 (YELLING STOPS) 00:09:20.574 --> 00:09:21.824 (SOBBING) 00:09:28.248 --> 00:09:30.041 You shouldn't have... (GASPS) 00:09:50.062 --> 00:09:51.937 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 00:09:52.272 --> 00:09:54.106 Kathy H. 00:10:07.287 --> 00:10:08.954 What's this from? 00:10:09.623 --> 00:10:11.290 I don't remember. 00:10:11.458 --> 00:10:13.334 Doctor? 00:10:20.634 --> 00:10:22.802 It's nothing. Just a bruise. 00:10:29.393 --> 00:10:31.102 LUCY: Hello. 00:10:31.603 --> 00:10:33.646 Kathy. Kathy H. 00:10:34.398 --> 00:10:36.816 Of course. Kathy H. 00:10:37.484 --> 00:10:39.026 Come in. 00:10:45.033 --> 00:10:46.575 So what can I do for you? 00:10:47.994 --> 00:10:49.453 Well, 00:10:50.288 --> 00:10:53.332 I was wondering what you said to Tommy. 00:10:54.459 --> 00:10:56.460 Out on the playing fields. 00:10:56.545 --> 00:10:58.546 I see. Oh. 00:10:59.464 --> 00:11:01.132 So what did I say? 00:11:03.677 --> 00:11:06.053 I believe I was trying to calm him down. 00:11:06.138 --> 00:11:08.013 Because he seemed upset. 00:11:08.515 --> 00:11:12.101 He explained he was often teased about sport and art, 00:11:12.185 --> 00:11:15.521 so I told him he shouldn't get upset about these things. 00:11:15.939 --> 00:11:19.567 The other children are only teasing him to get a reaction. 00:11:21.653 --> 00:11:24.363 And if it happens that he's not particularly good at sport or art, 00:11:24.448 --> 00:11:26.490 well, that doesn't matter. 00:11:27.284 --> 00:11:29.160 It's not so important. 00:11:34.875 --> 00:11:36.375 Thank you. 00:11:59.107 --> 00:12:00.566 Kathy. 00:12:03.570 --> 00:12:04.987 Aren't you sitting with the girls? 00:12:05.071 --> 00:12:06.071 Well, I just checked 00:12:06.531 --> 00:12:08.783 and I'm pretty sure I'm not sitting with the girls. 00:12:08.867 --> 00:12:10.117 I'm sitting with you. 00:12:12.412 --> 00:12:13.954 I wanted to say 00:12:16.208 --> 00:12:17.875 I'm sorry. 00:12:19.252 --> 00:12:21.253 I didn't mean to hit you. 00:12:22.422 --> 00:12:26.008 I mean, I wouldn't want to hit any girl. 00:12:28.804 --> 00:12:30.471 But particularly not you. 00:12:31.932 --> 00:12:34.725 Well, it was an accident, that's all. 00:12:36.937 --> 00:12:39.522 GERALDINE: Tommy, finish those vegetables. 00:12:56.957 --> 00:12:59.375 I'm not gonna get angry like that anymore. 00:12:59.459 --> 00:13:03.254 Because of what Miss Lucy told you, about being creative? 00:13:03.338 --> 00:13:04.922 How do you know about that? 00:13:05.006 --> 00:13:06.048 I'm nosey. 00:13:09.469 --> 00:13:13.681 She can't actually mean that being creative isn't important, can she? 00:13:13.849 --> 00:13:16.058 I mean, what about The Gallery? 00:13:16.142 --> 00:13:18.143 If being creative isn't important, 00:13:18.228 --> 00:13:20.229 then why have a gallery at all? 00:13:23.024 --> 00:13:24.483 I don't know. 00:13:29.489 --> 00:13:32.993 ...by arching her back, or perhaps with the aid of a pillow, 00:13:33.911 --> 00:13:35.912 the woman can arrange herself... 00:13:44.505 --> 00:13:46.548 (SINGING ON SCREEN) 00:13:51.429 --> 00:13:54.097 (SINGING) Smile 00:14:08.279 --> 00:14:09.696 Good morning, ma'am. 00:14:09.780 --> 00:14:10.947 Good morning. 00:14:11.032 --> 00:14:12.532 Can I help you? 00:14:12.617 --> 00:14:15.535 I wanted one tea, with milk and sugar in it. 00:14:16.287 --> 00:14:18.830 One tea. Right. 00:14:25.338 --> 00:14:26.880 LUCY: Tommy. 00:14:26.964 --> 00:14:29.549 Oh! One tea with milk and sugar in it, please. 00:14:29.884 --> 00:14:31.885 (CHILDREN CHUCKLING) No, Tommy. 00:14:34.472 --> 00:14:36.681 I want to hear your own order. 00:14:36.766 --> 00:14:38.433 Don't simply repeat the one you've just heard. 00:14:39.226 --> 00:14:42.062 What other drinks do they serve in cafes? 00:14:42.146 --> 00:14:43.480 Water. 00:14:43.564 --> 00:14:45.273 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 00:14:45.566 --> 00:14:46.566 (LAUGHTER STOPS) 00:14:46.651 --> 00:14:47.651 (WHISPERING) Coffee. 00:14:47.735 --> 00:14:48.735 Coffee. 00:14:50.613 --> 00:14:51.905 LUCY: So, then. 00:14:52.782 --> 00:14:54.074 So, then, 00:14:55.242 --> 00:14:57.911 one coffee, please, with milk and sugar in it. 00:15:03.793 --> 00:15:05.126 (SOFTLY) Thank you. 00:15:10.716 --> 00:15:12.175 (OWL HOOTING) 00:15:14.136 --> 00:15:16.096 RUTH: (WHISPERING) I think Laura likes Arthur. 00:15:16.931 --> 00:15:19.557 KATHY: (WHISPERING) All the girls like Arthur, don't they? 00:15:20.434 --> 00:15:21.935 Maybe. 00:15:23.437 --> 00:15:24.854 I'm not sure you do. 00:15:26.232 --> 00:15:28.358 He's not my type. 00:15:28.442 --> 00:15:31.695 I think Laura and Arthur will be the first in our year to have sex 00:15:31.779 --> 00:15:35.240 because, if Arthur wants to, Laura wouldn't stop him. 00:15:35.950 --> 00:15:38.118 I'm sure you're right. 00:15:42.456 --> 00:15:43.915 Tommy's changed. 00:15:44.917 --> 00:15:46.334 Changed how? 00:15:47.628 --> 00:15:49.129 Just changed. 00:15:50.297 --> 00:15:51.673 That's all. 00:16:22.079 --> 00:16:24.664 EMILY: What about this one by Madeleine Kane? 00:16:25.041 --> 00:16:28.334 I think it shows more than technical ability. 00:16:28.502 --> 00:16:31.046 It gives a real insight into the child. 00:16:31.172 --> 00:16:34.215 Which is precisely what Marie-Claude wants for The Gallery. 00:16:34.300 --> 00:16:36.092 GERALDINE: Yes, I agree. 00:16:39.847 --> 00:16:40.930 Mmm. 00:16:41.474 --> 00:16:43.349 EMILY: Put these two together. 00:16:44.435 --> 00:16:46.061 (WHISPERING) Madame is coming. 00:17:36.695 --> 00:17:38.404 EMILY: Good morning, students. 00:17:38.531 --> 00:17:41.533 CHILDREN: Good morning, Miss Emily. 00:17:42.910 --> 00:17:45.620 There are several points of order today. 00:17:45.704 --> 00:17:49.457 The first is that our good friend, Madame Marie-Claude, is visiting us. 00:17:49.625 --> 00:17:53.837 She will, as usual, be carefully inspecting your artwork and poetry 00:17:54.004 --> 00:17:57.966 and selecting the very best pieces for inclusion in her Gallery. 00:17:58.384 --> 00:18:00.844 We will, of course, extend to her every courtesy 00:18:00.928 --> 00:18:03.596 and make her feel most welcome. 00:18:03.931 --> 00:18:07.517 Second point of order, a piece of good news for all students 00:18:07.601 --> 00:18:10.478 who have been diligent in collecting tokens. 00:18:10.855 --> 00:18:13.690 After studies tomorrow, there will be a sale. 00:18:13.774 --> 00:18:14.816 (CHILDREN CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 00:18:14.900 --> 00:18:17.277 The delivery will arrive in the morning, 00:18:17.403 --> 00:18:19.737 and I was assured by the van driver 00:18:19.822 --> 00:18:23.074 that the boxes will contain a bumper crop. 00:18:23.534 --> 00:18:25.034 (ALL CHEERING) 00:18:31.292 --> 00:18:33.126 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 00:18:50.978 --> 00:18:53.396 (CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 00:19:01.363 --> 00:19:03.031 (CLATTERS) 00:19:11.332 --> 00:19:12.749 (CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 00:19:12.833 --> 00:19:14.959 Is it really a bumper crop? 00:19:16.337 --> 00:19:19.756 I should say so. Yeah, sweetheart. It's a bumper crop. 00:19:20.049 --> 00:19:21.799 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 00:19:37.524 --> 00:19:39.442 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 00:20:24.571 --> 00:20:25.947 Hey. 00:20:27.157 --> 00:20:28.825 Aren't you buying? 00:20:29.201 --> 00:20:32.662 If you've already spent all your tokens, you can have some of mine. 00:20:32.913 --> 00:20:36.499 I have tokens. I was just gonna wait till the rush died down. 00:20:36.583 --> 00:20:39.335 I'm sure there'll be something good left. 00:20:40.462 --> 00:20:42.422 What's the matter, Kath? 00:20:46.260 --> 00:20:47.802 Well, anyway, it doesn't matter 00:20:47.886 --> 00:20:50.430 if you can't find anything in the sale 00:20:50.514 --> 00:20:54.142 because I already found you something. 00:20:56.854 --> 00:20:58.313 KATHY: A music tape. 00:20:58.397 --> 00:21:02.025 I don't know much about it, if it's much good or anything. 00:21:06.238 --> 00:21:07.697 Thank you. 00:21:07.781 --> 00:21:10.616 (NEVER LET ME GO PLAYING ON TAPE RECORDER) 00:21:13.454 --> 00:21:15.455 * Darling * 00:21:18.292 --> 00:21:29.136 * Hold me * 00:21:29.220 --> 00:21:30.804 * And never * 00:21:31.848 --> 00:21:35.642 * Never * 00:21:36.311 --> 00:21:39.938 * Let me go * 00:21:49.282 --> 00:21:51.533 * Darling * 00:21:53.661 --> 00:22:04.922 * Kiss me * 00:22:05.006 --> 00:22:06.882 * And never * 00:22:07.384 --> 00:22:11.512 * Never * 00:22:11.971 --> 00:22:16.683 * Let me go * 00:22:20.021 --> 00:22:21.688 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:49.633 The problem is 00:22:50.760 --> 00:22:54.012 you've been told and not told. 00:22:54.848 --> 00:22:57.349 That's what I've seen while I've been here. 00:22:58.685 --> 00:23:00.602 You've been told 00:23:00.895 --> 00:23:03.522 but none of you really understand. 00:23:04.524 --> 00:23:08.652 So I've decided I'll talk to you in a way that you will understand. 00:23:12.323 --> 00:23:14.616 Do you know what happens to children when they grow up? 00:23:17.370 --> 00:23:21.081 No, you don't, because nobody knows. 00:23:23.418 --> 00:23:25.961 They might grow up to become actors, 00:23:26.963 --> 00:23:28.922 move to America. 00:23:30.675 --> 00:23:33.177 Or they might work in supermarkets. 00:23:33.845 --> 00:23:35.596 Or teach in schools. 00:23:36.681 --> 00:23:41.518 They might become sportsmen or bus conductors or racing car drivers. 00:23:41.769 --> 00:23:44.188 They might do almost anything. 00:23:46.524 --> 00:23:48.484 But with you we do know. 00:23:51.613 --> 00:23:53.906 None of you will go to America. 00:23:55.700 --> 00:23:58.660 None of you will work in supermarkets. 00:24:00.914 --> 00:24:03.207 None of you will do anything except live the life 00:24:03.291 --> 00:24:05.501 that has already been set out for you. 00:24:08.129 --> 00:24:10.214 You will become adults, 00:24:11.966 --> 00:24:13.634 but only briefly. 00:24:17.096 --> 00:24:18.805 Before you are old, 00:24:20.391 --> 00:24:22.726 before you are even middle-aged, 00:24:23.144 --> 00:24:26.480 you will start to donate your vital organs. 00:24:28.983 --> 00:24:31.485 That's what you were created to do. 00:24:33.988 --> 00:24:38.492 And sometime around your third or fourth donation, 00:24:39.577 --> 00:24:42.329 your short life will be complete. 00:24:44.082 --> 00:24:48.418 You have to know who you are and what you are. 00:24:49.379 --> 00:24:52.548 It's the only way you'll lead decent lives. 00:25:43.808 --> 00:25:46.977 There will be only one announcement this morning, 00:25:48.229 --> 00:25:49.771 which is that Miss Lucy, 00:25:49.856 --> 00:25:52.274 who was guardian to the fourth-year students, 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:55.027 is no longer working at Hailsham. 00:25:55.111 --> 00:25:57.446 (CHILDREN MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY) 00:25:58.948 --> 00:26:01.825 A replacement will be found for her, and in the meantime 00:26:01.909 --> 00:26:05.912 her classes will be divided between Miss Geraldine and myself. 00:26:08.041 --> 00:26:10.584 It is hard, is it not, 00:26:11.127 --> 00:26:15.130 to continue in the face of deliberate subversion. 00:26:16.924 --> 00:26:20.927 There are those who seek to thwart us, this is clear. 00:26:21.346 --> 00:26:25.015 And we are aware that the tide is not with forward thinking. 00:26:25.099 --> 00:26:26.433 It never is. 00:26:27.602 --> 00:26:31.355 No, the tide is with the entrenched mindset. 00:26:31.439 --> 00:26:34.066 With values that are still unexamined. 00:26:36.819 --> 00:26:39.196 But I will not be coerced. 00:26:44.118 --> 00:26:46.286 I will not be coerced. 00:26:49.248 --> 00:26:51.625 And neither will Hailsham. 00:27:16.317 --> 00:27:18.568 (RUTH CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 00:27:56.149 --> 00:28:00.694 KATHY: I didn't understand why, after all her teasing, 00:28:01.696 --> 00:28:05.907 Ruth would decide that Tommy was the boy she liked most of all. 00:28:14.792 --> 00:28:18.170 They say girls are always mean to the boys they like. 00:28:21.883 --> 00:28:24.551 So maybe Ruth had liked him all along. 00:28:29.557 --> 00:28:32.434 Maybe I should have teased him, too. 00:28:46.657 --> 00:28:49.075 I kept hoping they would separate, 00:28:49.285 --> 00:28:53.038 like the other childhood and teenage romances at the school. 00:28:59.003 --> 00:29:00.545 They never did. 00:29:19.149 --> 00:29:20.817 (BIRDS TWITTERING) 00:29:34.957 --> 00:29:37.708 We were moved from Hailsham at 18 00:29:37.793 --> 00:29:40.211 and sent to various accommodations around the country, 00:29:40.295 --> 00:29:43.548 to wait until we were old enough to start the donations. 00:29:46.385 --> 00:29:48.177 Tommy, Ruth and I 00:29:48.262 --> 00:29:52.223 were sent to a collection of farm buildings called The Cottages. 00:29:58.063 --> 00:29:59.730 During our stay there, we were told 00:29:59.815 --> 00:30:03.442 that some of us would be permitted to volunteer as carers. 00:30:05.696 --> 00:30:09.824 But, apart from that, we'd be left largely to our own devices 00:30:09.908 --> 00:30:14.120 and even allowed to take day trips into the surrounding countryside. 00:30:19.167 --> 00:30:21.085 The Cottages were also our first contact 00:30:21.169 --> 00:30:24.088 with those who had not grown up at Hailsham. 00:30:24.339 --> 00:30:26.340 There were people from White Mansion, 00:30:26.842 --> 00:30:31.387 Oakhill, Morningdale and other homes I'd never heard of. 00:30:34.308 --> 00:30:38.019 Everyone seemed wiser and more worldly than us. 00:30:40.564 --> 00:30:43.524 None more so than Rodney and Chrissie. 00:30:43.609 --> 00:30:46.319 They'd already been at The Cottages for over a year 00:30:46.403 --> 00:30:49.614 and would soon be leaving for the completion centers. 00:30:49.698 --> 00:30:52.450 GIRL ON TV: Ricky? I don't know what you're talking about. 00:30:52.534 --> 00:30:54.410 Oh, I can help you out there. 00:30:54.494 --> 00:30:58.414 He's talking about blue eyes, blond hair, cute dimples when he smiles. 00:30:58.498 --> 00:31:01.208 And biceps that could crack walnuts. 00:31:01.293 --> 00:31:02.793 (ALL LAUGHING) 00:31:03.795 --> 00:31:05.713 BOY: Jennifer, get real, I saw you with him. 00:31:05.797 --> 00:31:09.383 Jen and Ricky sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 00:31:10.218 --> 00:31:12.762 That is so not true. 00:31:15.057 --> 00:31:16.557 We weren't in a tree. 00:31:16.725 --> 00:31:18.476 (ALL LAUGH) 00:31:20.604 --> 00:31:22.730 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING ON TV) 00:31:34.326 --> 00:31:35.743 Hey. 00:31:39.790 --> 00:31:41.582 Where you going? 00:31:42.250 --> 00:31:44.377 I thought I'd go for a walk. 00:31:44.753 --> 00:31:48.756 Does that mean you want to be alone? 00:31:59.351 --> 00:32:00.685 (CHUCKLES) 00:32:19.913 --> 00:32:21.914 I'm not even saying that I'll apply to be a carer. 00:32:21.999 --> 00:32:24.250 Just that several people have said that I'd be good at it. 00:32:24.584 --> 00:32:26.460 But then Laura went around telling everyone 00:32:26.545 --> 00:32:29.046 that I'd been saying I was the most likely to get selected. 00:32:29.131 --> 00:32:30.214 That's so not true. 00:32:30.298 --> 00:32:31.757 So not true. 00:32:32.134 --> 00:32:33.718 Thank you. 00:32:33.802 --> 00:32:36.303 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:38.639 RUTH: I'm getting more plates. 00:32:40.308 --> 00:32:42.143 CHRISSIE: (LAUGHING) Is there anything left for us? 00:32:42.269 --> 00:32:44.270 (BOTH LAUGHING) I don't know. 00:32:46.648 --> 00:32:48.024 CHRISSIE: Perhaps not. 00:32:49.484 --> 00:32:51.736 Ruth, why do you do that thing? 00:32:52.487 --> 00:32:53.863 Squeezing Tommy's shoulder. 00:32:56.199 --> 00:32:57.825 I'm allowed to touch Tommy, aren't I? 00:32:57.909 --> 00:33:00.161 It's the way you're touching him. 00:33:00.245 --> 00:33:02.663 You know what I mean. It's copied from that television show. 00:33:03.832 --> 00:33:04.832 That's so not... 00:33:04.916 --> 00:33:07.460 Don't tell me "that's so not true." 00:33:09.463 --> 00:33:12.423 All that behavior, that's not what people do out there, in real life, 00:33:12.507 --> 00:33:13.758 if that's what you were thinking. 00:33:13.842 --> 00:33:16.927 So what? Look, it's no big deal. A lot of us do it. 00:33:17.012 --> 00:33:19.096 What you mean is Chrissie and Rod do it. 00:33:20.182 --> 00:33:22.016 Oh, Kathy. 00:33:24.770 --> 00:33:26.979 So that's what this is about. 00:33:27.939 --> 00:33:29.023 It must be really awful for you, 00:33:29.107 --> 00:33:30.566 surrounded by all these couples. 00:33:31.151 --> 00:33:34.945 I never said that. I just think it's daft. 00:33:35.655 --> 00:33:38.240 You copy them, and they copy from a television show. 00:33:38.325 --> 00:33:40.409 I'm right, aren't I? 00:33:41.369 --> 00:33:45.748 You don't like the fact that Tommy and I are friends with Chrissie and Rod, 00:33:45.832 --> 00:33:47.708 whereas you hardly speak to anyone. 00:33:50.712 --> 00:33:53.714 No. You're not right. 00:33:54.925 --> 00:33:56.801 "So" not right? 00:34:16.238 --> 00:34:18.072 Thank you, Mr. Keffers. 00:34:25.622 --> 00:34:27.039 (WHISTLING) 00:34:36.216 --> 00:34:37.842 (HEAVY BREATHING) 00:35:00.073 --> 00:35:01.740 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:26.140 Hello, Tommy. 00:35:26.975 --> 00:35:28.726 Hello, Kath. 00:35:28.810 --> 00:35:30.144 (CHUCKLING) 00:35:32.189 --> 00:35:36.317 Well, don't just hover in the doorway. Come in. Join the fun. 00:35:37.944 --> 00:35:40.654 Didn't know you liked that sort of stuff. 00:35:41.948 --> 00:35:43.699 You're very welcome to them after I've finished. 00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:46.285 Oh, no, it's just sex stuff. 00:35:46.828 --> 00:35:49.663 I expect I've seen them all already anyway. 00:35:54.669 --> 00:35:56.086 Kathy, what are you looking for? 00:35:56.838 --> 00:36:00.174 What do you mean? I'm just looking at dirty pictures. 00:36:01.509 --> 00:36:02.593 What, just for kicks? 00:36:02.677 --> 00:36:05.137 I suppose you could say that, yes. 00:36:11.019 --> 00:36:14.480 If it's just for kicks, then you don't do it like that. 00:36:15.690 --> 00:36:18.317 You need to look at each picture more carefully. 00:36:18.526 --> 00:36:20.861 Nothing really happens if you go that fast. 00:36:21.154 --> 00:36:23.489 How do you know what works for girls? 00:36:25.700 --> 00:36:28.202 Kath, you're not looking for kicks. 00:36:32.165 --> 00:36:35.960 Here, give it to Ruth. See if it does anything for her. 00:36:50.725 --> 00:36:55.729 Hi. 00:36:58.149 --> 00:37:00.526 I suppose you've heard what Rod and Chrissie have been saying. 00:37:01.569 --> 00:37:03.070 No, I haven't. 00:37:08.243 --> 00:37:10.286 Well, you know that Rod and Chrissie 00:37:10.370 --> 00:37:11.830 have been thinking of applying to be carers, 00:37:11.914 --> 00:37:12.914 so they've been learning how to drive. 00:37:12.999 --> 00:37:13.999 Yeah. 00:37:14.083 --> 00:37:18.753 Well, last weekend, they went up to a town on the Norfolk coast, 00:37:19.547 --> 00:37:22.257 and they think they saw this person. 00:37:22.425 --> 00:37:23.842 What kind of person? 00:37:25.011 --> 00:37:26.553 A lady 00:37:27.722 --> 00:37:29.180 working in an office. 00:37:29.724 --> 00:37:30.890 And... 00:37:32.643 --> 00:37:34.269 What is it, Ruth? 00:37:36.105 --> 00:37:39.024 But they thought this person was a Possible. 00:37:41.402 --> 00:37:43.153 For me. 00:37:43.863 --> 00:37:45.196 They found your Original? 00:37:45.281 --> 00:37:47.615 They aren't sure, obviously, 00:37:47.700 --> 00:37:50.702 (EXCITEDLY) but Rodney said that the resemblance was really striking. 00:37:50.786 --> 00:37:53.079 Oh, my God. Ruth! I know. 00:37:54.332 --> 00:37:58.001 They want to drive me back up there so that I can see for myself. 00:37:58.127 --> 00:38:00.378 Tommy will come, but... 00:38:00.713 --> 00:38:02.130 Do you want me to come? 00:38:05.634 --> 00:38:07.594 Ruth, of course. 00:38:17.813 --> 00:38:21.900 So, exactly how much experience have you guys had with the outside? 00:38:22.777 --> 00:38:23.818 Quite a lot. 00:38:23.903 --> 00:38:25.320 No, we haven't. 00:38:26.989 --> 00:38:30.075 We did a lot of role-playing exercises at Hailsham. 00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:31.826 They don't count. 00:38:32.203 --> 00:38:35.455 RODNEY: Okay. Well, don't feel scared. 00:38:35.581 --> 00:38:38.583 Okay? There's really... There's nothing to it. 00:38:40.378 --> 00:38:42.003 We aren't scared. 00:38:42.838 --> 00:38:44.297 Good. 00:38:49.970 --> 00:38:51.930 (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 00:39:07.488 --> 00:39:08.947 I'll get sausage, egg and chips. 00:39:13.494 --> 00:39:14.619 (SOFTLY) Sausage, egg and chips, please. 00:39:14.703 --> 00:39:15.787 Yes, sausage, egg and chips. 00:39:15.871 --> 00:39:17.914 Sausage, egg and chips, me, too, please. 00:39:19.083 --> 00:39:22.252 Well, I suppose I'd better get sausage, egg and chips, too, then. 00:39:22.336 --> 00:39:26.464 Five sausage, egg and chips. Drinks? 00:39:29.218 --> 00:39:30.718 Five Cokes, please. 00:39:37.309 --> 00:39:38.893 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 00:39:45.234 --> 00:39:47.527 CHRISSIE: It was good. It was really good. 00:39:47.611 --> 00:39:48.987 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) 00:39:49.071 --> 00:39:50.280 What? Sorry. 00:39:55.035 --> 00:39:59.372 You know, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you lot about. 00:40:00.708 --> 00:40:03.001 The problem is that back there at The Cottages it's impossible. 00:40:03.085 --> 00:40:05.420 Someone's always listening in. 00:40:06.755 --> 00:40:08.173 CHRISSIE: So, 00:40:10.885 --> 00:40:13.178 someone was saying that some Hailsham students in the past 00:40:13.262 --> 00:40:15.930 have managed to get a deferral. 00:40:16.098 --> 00:40:17.599 Apparently those Hailsham students 00:40:17.683 --> 00:40:20.768 could have their first donation put back by three 00:40:21.479 --> 00:40:23.897 or even four years. 00:40:27.276 --> 00:40:29.277 As long as they qualified. 00:40:30.196 --> 00:40:32.405 If there was a boy and a girl, 00:40:32.823 --> 00:40:34.824 and they were in love with each other, 00:40:34.909 --> 00:40:38.745 really properly in love, and they could prove it, 00:40:39.413 --> 00:40:42.332 then they would be given a few years together 00:40:42.541 --> 00:40:44.959 before they began their donations. 00:40:48.130 --> 00:40:50.381 Where did you hear about this? 00:40:51.258 --> 00:40:52.634 When we were at White Mansion. 00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:54.928 People there were always going on about this Hailsham couple. 00:40:55.596 --> 00:40:57.180 When the guy was only a few weeks from donation, 00:40:57.264 --> 00:41:00.767 he just went to see someone. He applied, and everything got sorted out. 00:41:01.519 --> 00:41:05.271 I suppose you lot would know about that sort of thing. 00:41:05.356 --> 00:41:09.150 Being from Hailsham, you'd know how that sort of thing works. 00:41:09.735 --> 00:41:12.153 Who is it you go to? 00:41:13.155 --> 00:41:16.658 Who would we talk to if we wanted to apply? 00:41:25.084 --> 00:41:26.960 To be honest, I don't know what you're talking about. 00:41:28.796 --> 00:41:30.505 Come on. 00:41:32.174 --> 00:41:33.508 Do you expect us to believe that? 00:41:33.592 --> 00:41:36.427 Everybody knows Hailsham is special. 00:41:37.012 --> 00:41:38.680 So what is it? 00:41:39.974 --> 00:41:42.559 Why keep these things to yourself? 00:41:49.024 --> 00:41:51.693 There were lots of stories at Hailsham. 00:41:52.653 --> 00:41:56.155 I don't think many of them turned out to be true. 00:42:16.802 --> 00:42:18.303 (GULLS CAWING) 00:42:22.891 --> 00:42:24.809 It may be down here. 00:42:34.903 --> 00:42:36.279 Yeah. 00:42:36.739 --> 00:42:38.072 That's it. 00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:45.955 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 00:43:04.516 --> 00:43:06.267 God, it must be her. 00:43:07.102 --> 00:43:09.562 Yeah, that's her. 00:43:09.730 --> 00:43:11.314 (INDISTINCT) 00:43:35.923 --> 00:43:37.548 RUTH: It's not her. 00:43:39.176 --> 00:43:41.177 I'm not her. No, you're not. 00:43:41.470 --> 00:43:42.887 It was really close, though. 00:43:42.971 --> 00:43:45.556 Oh, shut up, Tommy! It wasn't close. It wasn't close at all. 00:43:45.641 --> 00:43:48.976 And I knew it wasn't gonna be her before we even got here! 00:43:49.478 --> 00:43:51.187 It was never gonna be her. 00:43:51.313 --> 00:43:54.357 They never, ever model us on people like that woman. 00:43:54.441 --> 00:43:56.067 Ruth, don't. What? 00:43:56.694 --> 00:43:58.820 We all know it, we just never say it. 00:44:00.114 --> 00:44:02.407 We are modeled on trash. 00:44:02.533 --> 00:44:06.494 Junkies, prostitutes, winos, tramps. 00:44:07.121 --> 00:44:10.206 Convicts, maybe, as long as they aren't psychos. 00:44:11.333 --> 00:44:15.336 If you want to look for Possibles, if you want to do it properly, 00:44:17.506 --> 00:44:18.715 look in the gutter. 00:44:20.634 --> 00:44:22.635 That's where we came from. 00:44:50.205 --> 00:44:54.584 Hey. 00:44:59.673 --> 00:45:00.882 (SIGHS) 00:45:26.075 --> 00:45:28.076 We should go back. 00:46:21.923 --> 00:46:23.423 (DEVICE BEEPS) 00:46:44.487 --> 00:46:45.487 (DOOR CLOSING) 00:46:45.780 --> 00:46:47.906 (RUTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 00:46:49.909 --> 00:46:50.909 (THUDDING) 00:46:50.994 --> 00:46:53.620 RUTH: Don't tell me to calm down! 00:46:54.581 --> 00:46:56.915 You walked down the pier and you left me there. 00:46:57.000 --> 00:46:58.667 You knew I was well upset. 00:46:58.751 --> 00:46:59.751 (THUDDING) 00:47:02.338 --> 00:47:03.547 (CHIRPS) 00:47:11.514 --> 00:47:12.514 BOY: Out here. 00:47:12.932 --> 00:47:14.474 (GIRL LAUGHING) 00:47:17.145 --> 00:47:18.645 (DOOR OPENING) 00:47:20.064 --> 00:47:21.565 (DOOR CLOSING) 00:47:27.655 --> 00:47:32.117 Chrissie and Rod are pretty obsessed about this rumor, aren't they? 00:47:32.201 --> 00:47:34.161 About the deferrals? Mmm. 00:47:36.331 --> 00:47:39.374 I was thinking about it again last night, 00:47:39.876 --> 00:47:41.835 and if this rumor's true 00:47:43.046 --> 00:47:45.297 it might explain a few things. 00:47:45.673 --> 00:47:47.132 Such as? Well, 00:47:48.718 --> 00:47:50.135 The Gallery, for instance. 00:47:50.219 --> 00:47:53.931 We never got to the bottom of it, what The Gallery was for. 00:47:54.307 --> 00:47:56.475 Pictures, poetry and sculpture. 00:47:56.559 --> 00:47:58.101 Say something about yourself. 00:47:58.269 --> 00:48:00.437 That's the whole point about art, isn't it? 00:48:00.521 --> 00:48:03.774 It says what's inside of you. It reveals your soul. 00:48:04.233 --> 00:48:05.817 Yeah. So? 00:48:07.946 --> 00:48:09.154 (SIGHS) 00:48:15.662 --> 00:48:19.748 Suppose for a second that the rumor is true. 00:48:19.916 --> 00:48:23.043 That there is a special arrangement for Hailsham students, 00:48:23.127 --> 00:48:24.670 if they're in love. 00:48:25.672 --> 00:48:28.924 Well, there would have to be some kind of way 00:48:29.258 --> 00:48:33.261 to decide if couples are telling the truth 00:48:33.680 --> 00:48:36.348 and not just lying to put off their donations. 00:48:44.357 --> 00:48:46.858 That's what The Gallery could be for. 00:48:47.735 --> 00:48:50.112 In The Gallery they have everything about us they need to know. 00:48:50.196 --> 00:48:52.531 So if we say that we're in love, 00:48:54.325 --> 00:48:56.660 they can look into our souls and they can see. 00:48:56.744 --> 00:48:59.454 They'll know if it's real love or if it's just a lie. 00:49:00.623 --> 00:49:02.666 That's a strange idea, Tommy. 00:49:04.252 --> 00:49:05.335 What? 00:49:07.505 --> 00:49:10.507 No, no. I don't think that's any stranger than any other idea. 00:49:10.591 --> 00:49:14.011 And didn't Miss Lucy say that making art for The Gallery wasn't even important? 00:49:14.095 --> 00:49:15.470 Yes. 00:49:17.265 --> 00:49:19.474 But look what happened to her. 00:49:30.319 --> 00:49:32.529 Are you thinking of applying? 00:49:33.322 --> 00:49:34.823 With Ruth? 00:49:38.202 --> 00:49:39.244 No. 00:49:40.538 --> 00:49:41.747 It wouldn't work. 00:49:43.666 --> 00:49:45.083 Why? 00:49:52.467 --> 00:49:54.009 Because 00:50:02.185 --> 00:50:03.685 you forget that 00:50:04.854 --> 00:50:07.439 you got lots of stuff into The Gallery over the years, 00:50:07.523 --> 00:50:10.984 and if I applied they wouldn't have anything to go on. 00:50:25.416 --> 00:50:27.584 It's all just rumors and theories. 00:50:31.964 --> 00:50:33.423 Yeah, I know. 00:50:36.677 --> 00:50:38.178 Tommy. 00:50:56.239 --> 00:50:58.198 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 00:51:01.077 --> 00:51:02.285 (MOANS) 00:51:11.462 --> 00:51:13.421 (RUTH CONTINUES MOANING) 00:51:16.259 --> 00:51:17.884 (RUTH SQUEALING) 00:51:19.846 --> 00:51:21.054 (SIGHS) 00:51:25.101 --> 00:51:26.852 (NEVER LET ME GO PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) 00:51:26.936 --> 00:51:38.488 * Kiss me * 00:51:38.573 --> 00:51:41.032 * And never * 00:51:41.117 --> 00:51:45.579 * Never * 00:51:45.663 --> 00:51:49.457 * Let me go * 00:51:57.967 --> 00:52:00.135 * Lock my heart * 00:52:02.597 --> 00:52:06.057 * Throw away the key * 00:52:07.101 --> 00:52:09.936 * Feel my love * 00:52:11.230 --> 00:52:12.689 (MUSIC STOPS) 00:52:28.831 --> 00:52:31.333 I know what you think, Kathy. 00:52:34.587 --> 00:52:38.590 I know you think that you and Tommy would have made a more natural couple, 00:52:39.342 --> 00:52:40.842 and you believe 00:52:40.927 --> 00:52:44.387 that there's a chance that Tommy and I will split up some day. 00:52:45.848 --> 00:52:49.559 And when we do, perhaps that will be your chance with Tommy. 00:52:50.519 --> 00:52:52.854 Chance to do it right this time. 00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:02.907 But you see, the thing is, Kathy, 00:53:03.450 --> 00:53:06.869 although Tommy really likes you as a friend, 00:53:07.996 --> 00:53:10.706 he just doesn't see you that way. 00:53:14.878 --> 00:53:17.964 He told me about the porno magazines. 00:53:18.548 --> 00:53:19.924 (CHUCKLES) 00:53:20.759 --> 00:53:23.010 We had quite a laugh about it. 00:53:25.973 --> 00:53:29.767 He doesn't understand what you were doing. 00:53:31.853 --> 00:53:33.521 But I did. 00:53:37.234 --> 00:53:38.234 Oh! 00:53:58.088 --> 00:54:01.132 BOY: I said I'll just be five minutes. 00:54:06.305 --> 00:54:08.097 I want to be a carer. 00:54:10.142 --> 00:54:11.517 It's you who I apply to, isn't it? 00:54:11.601 --> 00:54:12.935 Yeah. 00:54:13.061 --> 00:54:15.062 I said that I'm applying. 00:54:17.441 --> 00:54:19.442 I'll bring the forms tomorrow, 00:54:19.526 --> 00:54:21.610 and that'll start the process. 00:54:32.956 --> 00:54:36.125 KATHY: By the time Ruth and Tommy actually did separate, 00:54:36.209 --> 00:54:38.336 my carer training had already begun. 00:54:40.547 --> 00:54:43.132 So I was hardly ever at The Cottages. 00:55:08.408 --> 00:55:11.577 It had never occurred to me that our lives, 00:55:12.079 --> 00:55:14.497 which had been so closely interwoven, 00:55:17.417 --> 00:55:20.002 could unravel with such speed. 00:55:34.768 --> 00:55:36.227 If I'd known, 00:55:37.187 --> 00:55:39.522 maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them 00:55:41.983 --> 00:55:45.194 and not let unseen tides pull us apart. 00:56:12.722 --> 00:56:14.223 (ALARM BUZZING) 00:56:30.657 --> 00:56:32.324 Once I began working with my donors, 00:56:32.409 --> 00:56:35.578 I didn't have much time to dwell on Tommy or Ruth. 00:56:36.580 --> 00:56:38.289 Eventually, so many years had passed 00:56:38.373 --> 00:56:41.125 I came to think I would never see them again. 00:56:41.293 --> 00:56:44.420 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) 00:56:48.425 --> 00:56:51.969 Many carers find themselves just going through the motions, 00:56:52.095 --> 00:56:56.265 waiting for the day that they can stop and become donors. 00:56:58.685 --> 00:57:00.186 (DEVICE BEEPS) 00:57:00.645 --> 00:57:04.190 But for the most part, being a carer has suited me fine. 00:57:06.276 --> 00:57:09.528 I quite enjoy traveling across the country, 00:57:09.613 --> 00:57:13.240 shuttling from center to center, hospital to hospital. 00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:28.339 KATHY: Here you are. 00:57:30.300 --> 00:57:31.800 Dark chocolate. 00:57:32.636 --> 00:57:35.971 If you knew how many shops I had to go to before I found those. 00:57:36.223 --> 00:57:39.600 I thought I wasn't allowed to eat so soon before the operation. 00:57:39.684 --> 00:57:42.853 Oh, you're not. But I am. 00:57:42.938 --> 00:57:44.063 And after the operation, 00:57:44.147 --> 00:57:47.107 you can wolf down the whole packet in one go. 00:57:52.656 --> 00:57:53.989 (SIGHING) 00:58:01.665 --> 00:58:04.750 KATHY: For me, the real test of being a carer 00:58:04.834 --> 00:58:07.962 is when a donor completes earlier than expected. 00:58:08.672 --> 00:58:12.007 On the second or even first donation. 00:58:12.425 --> 00:58:13.801 (SOFTLY) Can I just have a quick word? 00:58:13.885 --> 00:58:14.969 Okay. 00:58:16.221 --> 00:58:18.597 I was wondering who'd be working on Hannah today. 00:58:18.682 --> 00:58:22.017 KATHY: I'd never say I've become immune to the completions. 00:58:22.978 --> 00:58:25.980 But they are something I am able to live with. 00:58:30.360 --> 00:58:32.820 You're Hannah's carer, aren't you? 00:58:33.738 --> 00:58:35.489 Hannah's carer? Yes. 00:58:36.783 --> 00:58:40.411 I'm sorry, it's always hard, but there were complications. 00:58:44.541 --> 00:58:46.000 You need me to sign the release? 00:58:46.084 --> 00:58:47.293 Please. 00:58:49.504 --> 00:58:51.589 Are you going to leave now? 00:58:51.673 --> 00:58:53.799 We can quite easily provide you with a bed tonight 00:58:53.883 --> 00:58:55.384 if you've got a long drive. 00:58:55.510 --> 00:58:57.886 I can be back home in under two hours. 00:58:57.971 --> 00:58:59.597 It's always better to wake at home, isn't it? 00:59:09.149 --> 00:59:10.816 Is that someone you know? 00:59:10.942 --> 00:59:12.401 Yeah. 00:59:14.779 --> 00:59:16.697 Actually, we grew up together. 00:59:17.073 --> 00:59:18.866 Oh. How is she? 00:59:19.159 --> 00:59:21.035 Were you close? 00:59:21.161 --> 00:59:23.746 We haven't seen each other now for almost 10 years. 00:59:23.830 --> 00:59:28.208 Well, Ruth isn't as strong as we would hope, at this stage. 00:59:30.420 --> 00:59:32.379 She's done two donations. 00:59:32.922 --> 00:59:34.256 She has. 00:59:35.258 --> 00:59:36.759 You think she'll complete on the third? 00:59:37.636 --> 00:59:39.845 I think she wants to complete. 00:59:40.764 --> 00:59:45.100 And, as you know, when they want to complete, they usually do. 01:00:43.493 --> 01:00:44.493 (DOOR OPENING) 01:00:56.924 --> 01:00:57.924 (PANTING SOFTLY) 01:01:02.179 --> 01:01:03.847 (SIGHS IN DISBELIEF) 01:01:04.306 --> 01:01:05.974 Kathy. 01:01:12.356 --> 01:01:13.857 (RUTH PANTING) 01:01:16.402 --> 01:01:19.362 RUTH: I've been keeping tabs on you over the years. 01:01:19.613 --> 01:01:21.156 And Tommy, too. 01:01:21.490 --> 01:01:23.450 KATHY: What do you hear about Tommy? 01:01:23.534 --> 01:01:26.786 (SIGHS) That he's done his second donation, too, 01:01:26.871 --> 01:01:29.706 and apparently he's doing very well on it. 01:01:30.374 --> 01:01:31.541 Apparently he's in better shape 01:01:31.625 --> 01:01:34.085 than some after their first donation. 01:01:34.295 --> 01:01:37.046 Good old Tommy. I'm not surprised. 01:01:39.175 --> 01:01:41.134 Are you surprised at me? 01:01:43.137 --> 01:01:45.972 I expect I look a bit broken, Kath. 01:01:47.057 --> 01:01:48.141 (SNICKERS) 01:01:48.225 --> 01:01:49.893 It's okay. 01:01:50.186 --> 01:01:53.229 I don't think I'd want to survive my third donation, anyway. 01:01:53.898 --> 01:01:56.024 You hear things, don't you? 01:01:56.233 --> 01:01:58.193 What kind of things? 01:01:58.736 --> 01:02:00.528 Oh, you know. 01:02:03.741 --> 01:02:05.909 How, maybe, after the fourth donation, 01:02:05.993 --> 01:02:08.787 even if you've technically completed, 01:02:08.913 --> 01:02:12.081 you're still conscious in some sort of way. 01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:17.170 And then you find out that there are more donations, plenty of them. 01:02:17.254 --> 01:02:21.466 No more recovery centers. No more carers. 01:02:23.219 --> 01:02:25.261 Just watching and waiting. 01:02:27.014 --> 01:02:29.349 Till they switch you off. 01:02:35.189 --> 01:02:37.607 I don't think I fancy that. 01:02:41.612 --> 01:02:44.030 Is it the end of the day already? 01:02:45.407 --> 01:02:47.158 Do you know, it's funny, 01:02:47.243 --> 01:02:51.538 I think I've thought about you every day for the last few months. 01:02:51.622 --> 01:02:53.623 Hoping I'd see you again. 01:02:55.292 --> 01:02:58.127 Do you know, I felt sure that I would. 01:02:59.630 --> 01:03:04.717 Seemed impossible that I'd complete without seeing you one last time. 01:03:07.137 --> 01:03:09.639 It's not the last time, Ruth. 01:03:10.641 --> 01:03:12.517 They offered me a bed. 01:03:12.601 --> 01:03:14.978 I was planning on staying the night anyway. 01:03:15.187 --> 01:03:16.813 Well. 01:03:41.755 --> 01:03:44.257 RUTH: I always knew you'd be a good carer. 01:03:44.717 --> 01:03:46.843 Your donors are very lucky. 01:03:52.224 --> 01:03:55.310 Look, I was lying awake last night 01:03:55.394 --> 01:03:58.354 and I suddenly had an idea that we'd take a trip together. 01:03:58.564 --> 01:04:00.356 Where to? 01:04:00.858 --> 01:04:03.735 I hadn't much thought of where, just a trip. 01:04:08.115 --> 01:04:09.699 Although 01:04:11.285 --> 01:04:13.036 a place did spring to mind. 01:04:13.120 --> 01:04:15.622 One of the boys on the other floor was talking about it. 01:04:15.706 --> 01:04:17.540 It's near the Kingsfield Recovery Center. 01:04:18.042 --> 01:04:21.544 Is it the boat? The one left on the beach? 01:04:21.670 --> 01:04:23.254 You've heard about it, too? 01:04:23.339 --> 01:04:25.882 I heard. One of the carers who worked there. 01:04:29.094 --> 01:04:30.845 And do you suppose, 01:04:31.889 --> 01:04:35.099 if we're driving all that way, 01:04:35.851 --> 01:04:38.144 that we could call in on Tommy? 01:04:40.272 --> 01:04:41.648 (CHUCKLING) 01:04:42.358 --> 01:04:45.318 Told you I'd been keeping tabs on you. 01:04:47.029 --> 01:04:48.446 Have you seen him? 01:04:49.698 --> 01:04:51.032 No, not since The Cottages. 01:04:52.076 --> 01:04:53.701 No, neither have I. 01:04:59.833 --> 01:05:01.334 RUTH: How will we find him? 01:05:01.418 --> 01:05:04.087 KATHY: His carer said he'd be waiting outside. 01:05:20.938 --> 01:05:22.438 Look, there he is. 01:05:29.321 --> 01:05:32.532 Do you think he's recognized us through the glass? 01:05:34.785 --> 01:05:36.619 No, no, no. 01:05:36.704 --> 01:05:38.705 Let's not get out. 01:05:55.389 --> 01:05:56.556 KATHY: Ruth's in the car. 01:05:56.640 --> 01:05:57.807 Oh, right. 01:05:57.933 --> 01:05:59.308 Hey! 01:05:59.768 --> 01:06:01.144 Hi! 01:06:02.646 --> 01:06:03.980 Hi. Hi. 01:06:04.314 --> 01:06:05.356 (CHUCKLES) 01:06:05.441 --> 01:06:06.482 How are you? 01:06:06.567 --> 01:06:07.650 RUTH: I'm good. 01:06:07.985 --> 01:06:09.193 Look at your hair. 01:06:09.278 --> 01:06:10.987 TOMMY: Oh, yeah. My hair. 01:06:15.951 --> 01:06:17.285 (CHUCKLES) 01:06:19.413 --> 01:06:21.748 I can't quite believe that I have you both here. 01:06:24.793 --> 01:06:26.377 Does it feel to you that we're back at Hailsham again? 01:06:26.462 --> 01:06:28.755 Like no time has passed? 01:06:29.381 --> 01:06:30.465 No, it doesn't. 01:06:30.549 --> 01:06:31.841 TOMMY: No, it doesn't at all, does it? 01:06:32.259 --> 01:06:35.011 It really doesn't at all. It's really weird. 01:06:35.137 --> 01:06:36.763 But a good weird, I think. 01:06:41.643 --> 01:06:45.188 I don't suppose you both heard that Hailsham was closed? 01:06:47.775 --> 01:06:51.027 The only schools left now, you hear they're like battery farms. 01:06:52.071 --> 01:06:53.696 Like Morningdale. 01:06:54.156 --> 01:06:57.200 I'm sure that's an exaggeration, though. 01:06:59.328 --> 01:07:01.537 Are you sure we're going the right way? 01:07:17.721 --> 01:07:19.222 It's locked, it looks like. 01:07:20.140 --> 01:07:21.641 No one said anything about this. 01:07:21.725 --> 01:07:23.476 No one said anything about a locked gate. 01:07:23.560 --> 01:07:26.395 Ruth, just relax. It's okay. 01:07:35.072 --> 01:07:36.906 Can walk through here. 01:08:04.935 --> 01:08:05.977 Wow. 01:08:19.449 --> 01:08:21.576 Hey, come on. 01:08:42.055 --> 01:08:43.306 (PANTING) 01:08:52.192 --> 01:08:53.275 (GASPING) 01:08:53.359 --> 01:08:54.693 (COUGHING) 01:09:09.209 --> 01:09:12.336 TOMMY: I wonder if that's what Hailsham looks like now. 01:09:14.964 --> 01:09:17.925 Do you ever hear, Kath, about any of the students from Hailsham? 01:09:18.009 --> 01:09:19.927 Sometimes, yeah. 01:09:21.429 --> 01:09:26.391 I heard that Amanda completed on her first donation. 01:09:27.018 --> 01:09:30.103 I think that happens more than they ever tell us. 01:09:30.188 --> 01:09:31.188 TOMMY: Hmm. 01:09:31.272 --> 01:09:35.067 Yeah, there was this guy at my care center 01:09:35.193 --> 01:09:40.197 who was always really scared of completing on his first donation. 01:09:41.407 --> 01:09:43.200 But it was all fine. 01:09:43.284 --> 01:09:46.203 And he's just come through his third one now, 01:09:46.829 --> 01:09:49.706 and he's completely all right. 01:09:54.837 --> 01:09:56.964 It's funny, I don't think... 01:09:58.049 --> 01:10:00.133 Well, I know I wouldn't have been a very good carer, 01:10:00.218 --> 01:10:02.261 but in a way I actually think I'm quite a good donor. 01:10:02.345 --> 01:10:05.055 (SNICKERS) That's what we're supposed to be, isn't it? 01:10:17.610 --> 01:10:19.236 I'd like you to forgive me. 01:10:21.864 --> 01:10:23.657 I don't expect you to. 01:10:24.242 --> 01:10:25.367 Forgive you for what? 01:10:32.667 --> 01:10:35.002 For keeping you and Tommy apart. 01:10:38.881 --> 01:10:42.175 Should have been you two together, I always knew it. 01:10:42.260 --> 01:10:44.511 As far back as I can remember. 01:10:46.514 --> 01:10:49.933 It wasn't just because of the rumors about deferrals. 01:10:54.397 --> 01:10:56.606 It was because I was jealous. 01:10:59.193 --> 01:11:03.322 You had real love and I didn't, 01:11:07.118 --> 01:11:10.454 and I didn't want to be the one that was left alone. 01:11:21.591 --> 01:11:23.258 It's the worst thing I ever did. 01:11:27.805 --> 01:11:30.140 And now I want to put it right. 01:11:30.516 --> 01:11:32.225 I don't know how you can do that, Ruth. 01:11:32.727 --> 01:11:34.144 I can 01:11:35.646 --> 01:11:37.314 if you two get a deferral. 01:11:38.316 --> 01:11:40.484 It's too late for that, Ruth. 01:11:40.985 --> 01:11:43.820 Way too late. It's stupid to even think about it. 01:11:44.030 --> 01:11:48.200 It isn't too late. Look, you'll see, both of you. 01:11:48.951 --> 01:11:53.497 I wanted to do this trip because I had something that I wanted to give you. 01:11:54.957 --> 01:11:56.833 It's Madame's address. 01:11:59.754 --> 01:12:03.465 That's who you apply to. That's who you have to go and see. 01:12:06.260 --> 01:12:08.053 How did you get this? 01:12:09.764 --> 01:12:13.558 It wasn't easy, but I've had years to think about what I did. 01:12:13.810 --> 01:12:18.188 And years to try and work out a way to make it right. 01:13:03.234 --> 01:13:06.445 I started doing them when we were at The Cottages. 01:13:06.612 --> 01:13:09.114 The day after we went to find Ruth's Possible. 01:13:09.240 --> 01:13:12.159 I realized that if I was ever going to apply for a deferral, 01:13:12.243 --> 01:13:14.494 then I'd have to show them something. 01:13:15.913 --> 01:13:18.915 And I've done hundreds of them over the years. 01:13:20.460 --> 01:13:22.127 They're wonderful. 01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:24.421 What? Really? 01:13:24.672 --> 01:13:26.089 Yeah. 01:13:27.675 --> 01:13:29.342 Well, thank you. 01:13:31.387 --> 01:13:32.971 (TOMMY CHUCKLES) 01:13:41.481 --> 01:13:44.608 I have never showed anyone them until now. 01:13:47.069 --> 01:13:49.154 They were my secret. 01:13:50.865 --> 01:13:53.617 Just like you and those porno magazines. 01:13:54.368 --> 01:13:56.036 You remember that? 01:13:56.454 --> 01:13:57.537 Yeah. 01:14:00.041 --> 01:14:01.958 Ruth said you didn't understand what I was doing. 01:14:02.043 --> 01:14:04.169 No, I don't think she understood what you were doing. 01:14:04.337 --> 01:14:06.338 She thought you were looking at the dirty pictures 01:14:06.422 --> 01:14:08.965 in order to find out about sex 01:14:09.342 --> 01:14:10.634 (SIGHING) 01:14:11.052 --> 01:14:14.679 and to find out what you were missing out on or something. 01:14:18.184 --> 01:14:19.726 I knew. 01:14:21.395 --> 01:14:24.523 I knew you were looking for your Original. 01:14:27.193 --> 01:14:30.987 I used to have these huge urges to have sex sometimes. 01:14:31.989 --> 01:14:34.533 And sometimes they'd be so powerful, 01:14:35.076 --> 01:14:36.993 I just thought I'd do it with anyone. 01:14:39.497 --> 01:14:42.332 So I thought that had to tell me something. 01:14:42.458 --> 01:14:45.252 Something about the kind of person I was modeled on. 01:14:47.672 --> 01:14:49.339 It's stupid, 01:14:50.925 --> 01:14:54.010 but I guessed the magazines would be the most likely place I'd find her. 01:14:56.180 --> 01:14:57.931 You know those urges are natural, don't you? 01:14:58.015 --> 01:15:01.560 You know all of us had them. You know that now, right? 01:15:15.283 --> 01:15:17.033 KATHY: "From Basrah we sailed, 01:15:18.452 --> 01:15:22.205 "day after day, night after night, over the sea, 01:15:23.332 --> 01:15:27.210 "visiting island after island and land after land, 01:15:28.546 --> 01:15:31.590 "selling or bartering our goods at each. 01:15:35.177 --> 01:15:39.639 "One day, after some weeks of sailing out of sight of land, 01:15:39.724 --> 01:15:42.434 "we saw an island in the sea with such fair greenery 01:15:42.518 --> 01:15:45.729 "that it appeared like one of the gardens of Eden. 01:15:46.314 --> 01:15:49.733 "At once the captain made towards this delectable land 01:15:49.817 --> 01:15:53.820 "and, when the anchor had been cast and the ladder lowered, 01:15:53.904 --> 01:15:56.740 "allowed his passengers to disembark." 01:16:03.372 --> 01:16:05.081 (WHISPERS) Don't stop. 01:18:30.937 --> 01:18:35.816 KATHY: Ruth got it right. Right street, right door, everything. 01:18:40.322 --> 01:18:43.866 We have to decide which of my drawings we're gonna take. 01:18:47.287 --> 01:18:49.914 Just take the best ones. Maybe six or seven of them. 01:18:49.998 --> 01:18:51.999 You have to help me. Yeah, I know. 01:18:53.835 --> 01:18:55.377 (BOTH LAUGHING) 01:18:58.340 --> 01:19:01.175 So, we'll just go there. 01:19:01.259 --> 01:19:02.301 Mmm. 01:19:02.385 --> 01:19:04.053 Next week. 01:19:04.137 --> 01:19:06.680 I'll take you out for lab tests, I'll sign you out for the whole day 01:19:06.765 --> 01:19:08.474 and we'll visit Madame on the way back. 01:19:25.158 --> 01:19:27.284 KATHY: We're going to do it. 01:19:29.579 --> 01:19:31.622 I thought you should know. 01:19:34.626 --> 01:19:36.502 You're going to apply? 01:19:39.256 --> 01:19:40.631 Yes. 01:19:46.388 --> 01:19:47.805 Good. 01:20:01.319 --> 01:20:02.820 (DOOR OPENING) 01:20:05.240 --> 01:20:06.740 (DOOR CLOSING) 01:20:06.867 --> 01:20:08.117 (SIGHS) 01:20:10.871 --> 01:20:12.496 (MONITOR BEEPING) 01:20:22.674 --> 01:20:24.675 (MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY) 01:20:25.844 --> 01:20:27.219 (MONITOR FLATLINING) 01:21:10.347 --> 01:21:11.847 (GULLS CAWING) 01:21:50.929 --> 01:21:52.805 Madame? 01:21:58.103 --> 01:21:59.520 Sorry. 01:22:00.397 --> 01:22:02.606 We didn't mean to startle you. 01:22:03.274 --> 01:22:05.025 We were at Hailsham. 01:22:09.781 --> 01:22:12.116 I'm Kathy. This is Tommy. 01:22:14.619 --> 01:22:16.954 We're not here to give you any trouble. 01:22:20.417 --> 01:22:21.875 From Hailsham? 01:22:21.960 --> 01:22:23.502 TOMMY: We just came to talk to you. 01:22:25.380 --> 01:22:27.631 And I brought you some things. 01:22:28.633 --> 01:22:31.510 Some things you might like for your Gallery. 01:22:33.680 --> 01:22:35.264 Come inside. 01:22:53.658 --> 01:22:55.993 (SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) 01:23:03.001 --> 01:23:04.501 (DOOR OPENING) 01:23:05.837 --> 01:23:07.337 (DOOR CLOSING) 01:23:10.759 --> 01:23:12.760 Please, wait here. 01:23:30.862 --> 01:23:32.654 Look, it's Hailsham. 01:23:34.365 --> 01:23:36.533 Kathy, it's Hailsham. 01:23:38.495 --> 01:23:41.205 KATHY: That's exactly how I remember it. 01:23:48.296 --> 01:23:49.922 Please, sit down. 01:24:05.230 --> 01:24:06.605 So... 01:24:09.818 --> 01:24:11.318 We're in love. 01:24:12.112 --> 01:24:14.655 And it's true love. It's verifiable. 01:24:15.740 --> 01:24:17.741 Verifiable. I see. 01:24:23.790 --> 01:24:25.290 Go on. 01:24:25.542 --> 01:24:26.959 Well, 01:24:28.628 --> 01:24:31.255 we'd heard about the deferrals. 01:24:33.466 --> 01:24:36.219 And we'd worked out the purpose of The Gallery. 01:24:37.596 --> 01:24:39.347 Tell me the purpose. 01:24:41.142 --> 01:24:44.227 To use our art from Hailsham 01:24:44.436 --> 01:24:46.771 to look into our souls, 01:24:47.815 --> 01:24:51.234 which would verify that we deserved a deferral. 01:24:51.944 --> 01:24:55.321 (CHUCKLING) But the problem is 01:24:55.406 --> 01:24:58.283 I was a little bit mixed up back then 01:24:58.367 --> 01:25:02.579 and I didn't really do any art, 01:25:04.248 --> 01:25:06.583 so you never took anything of mine. 01:25:06.667 --> 01:25:10.128 I know, I know that that is my fault 01:25:10.212 --> 01:25:13.423 and it is probably much too late, 01:25:13.507 --> 01:25:15.508 but I brought some stuff with me today. 01:25:21.473 --> 01:25:24.559 This is a book of stuff and... 01:25:36.655 --> 01:25:38.698 Other stuff here. 01:25:42.244 --> 01:25:43.411 (TOMMY MUMBLING) 01:25:43.495 --> 01:25:46.623 Some of them I've done quite recently, 01:25:47.666 --> 01:25:49.000 and others 01:25:50.961 --> 01:25:53.838 (STUTTERING) were done several years ago, so there's a real spread. 01:25:55.132 --> 01:25:58.426 You already have a load of stuff from Kath already. 01:25:58.510 --> 01:26:01.554 She got loads of stuff into The Gallery over the years, didn't... 01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:03.348 I'm sorry. 01:26:06.685 --> 01:26:08.645 I never know what to do. 01:26:12.566 --> 01:26:14.192 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 01:26:15.486 --> 01:26:17.362 I'll take it from here. 01:26:23.244 --> 01:26:24.911 EMILY: Thank you, George. 01:26:29.375 --> 01:26:31.793 Kathy H and Tommy D. 01:26:31.877 --> 01:26:32.877 (DOOR CLOSING) 01:26:33.545 --> 01:26:35.505 I remember you both. 01:26:36.048 --> 01:26:39.175 Kathy, a bright girl, and so creative. 01:26:39.468 --> 01:26:42.762 And Tommy, a big heart and terrible rages. 01:26:47.017 --> 01:26:48.726 You have to understand, 01:26:49.728 --> 01:26:54.315 Hailsham was the last place to consider the ethics of donation. 01:26:54.733 --> 01:26:58.111 We used your art to show what you were capable of. 01:26:58.779 --> 01:27:01.447 To show that donor children are all but human. 01:27:03.284 --> 01:27:07.245 But we were providing an answer to a question no one was asking. 01:27:08.831 --> 01:27:11.040 If you ask people to return to darkness, 01:27:11.125 --> 01:27:15.628 the days of lung cancer, breast cancer, motor neurone disease, 01:27:16.588 --> 01:27:18.464 they'll simply say no. 01:27:21.844 --> 01:27:25.138 We used to get two or three couples like you a year. 01:27:26.765 --> 01:27:28.683 Not so much these days. 01:27:28.767 --> 01:27:29.767 (CHUCKLES) 01:27:30.185 --> 01:27:32.687 You're the first for quite a while. 01:27:36.817 --> 01:27:39.110 To apply for a deferral? 01:27:47.536 --> 01:27:49.954 There are no deferrals, Tommy. 01:27:54.960 --> 01:27:59.172 There are no deferrals. And there never have been. 01:28:09.641 --> 01:28:13.394 We didn't have The Gallery in order to look into your souls. 01:28:13.812 --> 01:28:17.023 We had The Gallery to see if you had souls at all. 01:28:30.079 --> 01:28:31.746 Do you understand? 01:28:42.633 --> 01:28:44.008 Yes. 01:28:50.849 --> 01:28:53.684 Your drawings are very good. 01:28:55.020 --> 01:28:57.522 If you want, I'll keep them. 01:29:59.960 --> 01:30:02.086 Thank you for talking to us. 01:30:05.924 --> 01:30:07.675 You poor creatures. 01:30:09.470 --> 01:30:11.429 I wish I could help you. 01:31:11.365 --> 01:31:13.991 Sorry, can we stop for a second? I need to get out. 01:31:40.018 --> 01:31:41.561 (TOMMY YELLING) 01:33:56.948 --> 01:33:58.323 (INAUDIBLE) 01:34:21.806 --> 01:34:24.391 KATHY: It's been two weeks since I lost him. 01:34:55.006 --> 01:34:57.215 I've been given my notice now. 01:35:01.053 --> 01:35:03.722 My first donation is in a month's time. 01:35:12.398 --> 01:35:15.650 I come here and imagine that this is the spot 01:35:15.735 --> 01:35:19.654 where everything I've lost since my childhood has washed up. 01:35:23.618 --> 01:35:26.953 I tell myself if that were true, 01:35:27.789 --> 01:35:30.123 and I waited long enough, 01:35:31.209 --> 01:35:35.086 then a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field 01:35:35.254 --> 01:35:39.216 and gradually get larger until I'd see it was Tommy. 01:35:42.261 --> 01:35:43.845 He'd wave 01:35:44.305 --> 01:35:46.181 and maybe call. 01:35:48.518 --> 01:35:51.561 I don't let the fantasy go beyond that. 01:35:51.771 --> 01:35:53.104 I can't let it. 01:35:55.233 --> 01:35:59.236 I remind myself I was lucky to have had any time with him at all. 01:36:03.783 --> 01:36:06.034 What I'm not sure about 01:35:50.914 --> 01:35:55.500 is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. 01:36:14.085 --> 01:36:16.002 We all complete. 01:36:18.464 --> 01:36:22.175 Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through 01:36:24.136 --> 01:36:26.680 or feel we've had enough time. 01:36:29.136 --> 01:36:55.680 جديدترين اخبار فيلم و سريال در کانال تلگرام و اينستاگرام سايت .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.