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A nurse should monitor
for which side effect of antiplatelet medication?
A, drop in blood pressure. B, hot flashes.
C, bloody stools. D, blurred vision.
Blood pressure.
C, bloody stools.
Antiplatelet, bloody stools.
♪ Antiplatelet, bloody stools
♪ Bloody stools, bloody stools
♪ Antiplatelet, bloody stools Oh, the doo-dah day
♪ Oh, the doo-dah day Oh, the doo-dah day
♪ Antiplatelet, bloody stools ♪
Watch some sports like real men.
This has 10 times the emotion of your football.
It's ridiculous.
Hey. Sorry, some surfer gave me wet money.
Well, here are your deliveries.
Oh, and I would save 650 Cypress for last.
Canadian bacon and pineapple? No. Ew.
Hey, he's cute, and you might have fun.
I don't have time for fun.
Well, then you're doing it wrong.
Add it to the list.
It's not ridiculous.
These stories come from real life.
Crazy things happen all the time.
Come on, back me up on this.
I don't watch this shit.
I don't even hear it. It's like working at my abuela's.
Huh.
When suctioning mucus from a patient's lung,
which action completes the procedure...
Hey, girls, come on, let's go!
- Hey, Mom! - Hi, Mom!
Move! We gotta go!
Really, Mom? The sign?
Be embarrassed in the car, okay?
I've got eight minutes to get these pizzas across town.
Move!
How was school?
- Fine. - Oh, don't tip 'em.
Change of plans, sir.
We're just having some minor mechanical issues.
We'll dock at the nearest harbor for some repairs
and I'll arrange to have
the carpets professionally cleaned.
Don't need to know how the sausage is made, Colin!
Absolutely right, sir.
- Papa. Papa. - Mmm-hmm.
When swabbing fecal matter,
a nurse should take which of the following precautions?
- Bye, Mom! - See ya, Mom!
All right, listen to your grandma, okay?
Hi, Grandma!
And, hey, I want you to take a bath, Olivia!
- Use soap. - Okay.
You're not gonna believe this.
Remember how I sang that song from Les Mis
at the Saint James talent show
and everyone said I was amazing?
Okay, Mom, can you just type this up in an e-mail,
because I'm gonna be late for my other job.
Turns out, a producer
from the Eugene Senior Theater touring company was there.
He had tears.
Anyway, one of their leads fell in the shower,
and they want me to step in.
What? When is this all supposed to be happening?
I'm leaving tonight. They're already in tech.
No! Mom, my nursing exam is in less than a month
and you agreed to help.
I'm 72. If I don't follow my dreams now, when will I?
Never, Mom!
The whole reason we moved here is so I could study more.
I already failed the exam once.
No, don't guilt me.
You're not the only one with a dead husband.
Dad's not dead, you're divorced!
Oh, and I'm gonna need you to take care of Fiona.
The kennel won't take her. She has crate anxiety.
You can't possibly be this selfish.
I'm sorry, honey, but the theater is calling me.
Oh! Literally. They need my dress size.
Hi, there. Normally a zero, but a two if I'm bloated.
Good night.
Hey, don't stay up too late.
Oh, God.
Holy crap.
Here we are. I'll be around if you need me.
Guess where I am?
Some dude's yacht.
You little tramp.
- I'm cleaning the carpets. - Oh.
Oh, my God. Theresa, look at this bathroom.
God, I could live in here!
Oh.
And they have candy. Who has candy in the bathroom?
That's not candy.
Yeah, because nobody has candy in the bathroom.
- Oh, God. - Because it's a bathroom!
Okay, come on, show me more. Wait, wait, wait.
Is that the guy? Is he married? He's cute.
And that's not even a very good picture.
Hello, Theresa!
- Oh, God. - Hi!
By the way, she's single, and horny.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
I'll get out of here.
No, no, no. I should get up. Busy day.
I've got a lot of... Whew!
Really nothing to do.
Colin, I'm ready for my Bloody Mary. Yeah.
Mostly Mary. Yeah.
Well, now you know.
I'm a grown man with a tattoo on his butt.
Is that Speedy Gonzales?
Do you know another cartoon mouse with a sombrero?
I hate the pussycat.
Let me guess, you were, uh, a little tipsy when you got that?
Not at all.
I love Speedy. He's fast, he's charming.
He's Mexican.
He outsmarts the pussycat
and brings delicious cheese to his people.
And he's just fun to look at.
My name is Leonardo.
Kate. Sullivan.
You're very attractive for a carpet cleaning lady.
Yeah.
Although you maybe could do something with your hair.
Yeah...
No, well, no, that's not it. It's your face.
Yeah. I mean, it's good.
I wanna like it, it's just...
It's just somehow less than the sum of its parts.
What animal do people say you look like?
Apologies, sir, I thought you were up and about already.
Ah, finally. It's about time.
Um, have Chef Gerard prepare breakfast. Then, fire him.
Of course, but perhaps we could give him a few weeks' notice.
His wife's expecting.
But his food is boring.
Absolutely.
There you are, sleepyhead. Hi.
Well, this is awkward. We're wearing the same thing.
Boop! Boop!
Lead the way, girls!
Okay.
Boop! Boop!
Boop!
Oh, try to hurry. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need the room.
- Excuse me, Captain? - Yeah.
Checked the engine, you're in luck.
It's just the anti-siphon valve. No problem.
I was just telling him
that I was right, and that he's a dumbass.
Say, how'd this dude make all his money, anyway?
He didn't.
His family owns the largest building supply company in the world.
Now this is what he does all day.
Chicken fight?
All right. Here's my info.
If you're ever in Norway, look me up.
The summers are insane.
That's happening, Oddvar. That's definitely happening.
Hi. Excuse me, I was told to clean in there.
Something about a glitter bomb?
Is that gonna disturb you?
No, not at all.
Hmm. I'm craving something. What is it?
Excuse me, are you talking to me?
Sweet, but not too sweet. Hmm.
Is it mango? I'm pretty sure it's mango.
No. No, wait, wait. It's papaya.
Is it papaya?
I would have no way of knowing that.
Of course.
Could you be a doll and get me a little of both?
Hmm?
You know I was just hired to do carpets, right?
I don't see why that should prevent you from getting me a little snack.
Don't you have, like, 10,000 other people to do that for you?
Yeah. But you're right here.
Okay, I'm sorry, but I really have to finish up
so I can pick my girls up from school.
Shh.
Perhaps you don't know who I am.
I know exactly who you are.
You showed me your ass and did a number on my self-esteem.
Then why don't I have my fruit?
Beats me. But I'm not getting it.
Okay. Fair enough.
You're fired.
For not getting you a mango?
Or a papaya.
Okay, you know what? That's fine.
Just pay me and I'll be on my way.
I'm not paying you or the "We Care Carpet and Fabric Company."
Dude, you have a toilet in there
that costs more than I make in a year.
You hired me to do a job. I did it. You're paying me.
Nope.
Mr. Montenegro, ready to ship out when you are.
Great! Push off. The Pacific awaits.
Goodbye, Kate.
You are a horrible person.
A first-class asshole!
"A first-class asshole."
You're no charmer yourself.
Oh, whoa! That stung.
You selfish, condescending prick!
I bet you haven't worked a single day in your entire, self-absorbed life.
And to think I was this, this close,
to inviting you to join us in the Jacuzzi.
There isn't enough penicillin in the world!
No, no, wait. No, no, no.
No. Don't untie the boat.
Excuse me, wait. Excuse me! Captain! I'm still on board.
Don't leave yet!
Women adore me. I'm charming, and fit, and disease-free.
Oh, grow up.
You are a vain, empty little man,
who'd be nothing without his daddy's money.
Oh, no!
You gotta be kidding me! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait.
Better jump off.
No. No. I am not going anywhere, until you,
or one of your butlers or bimbos writes me a check.
Fine. Next stop, San Francisco.
Fine. I'll be a pain in your ass for the next 12 hours.
I guess I didn't think this through.
No, you didn't.
I can't believe you're making me do this.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Wait! My equipment.
Oh, of course.
Here you are.
No! No, no, no! It's very expensive! No!
Oh!
Wait. I forgot something. Your bucket.
- Fetch. - No!
And just so you know,
my life is not empty! Hmm?
Everyone wants my life because it's meaningful.
I hate you!
Goodbye.
Oh, God.
And now I owe the cleaning company $3,000 for a new machine!
And they fired me. He is the devil.
Whoa, who's the devil?
- Leonardo Montenegro. - Who's that?
Says here he's the son of the third richest man in the world.
A Latino? Hell yeah. Mi gente, babe, showin' up.
Hey! Those are for the crew, right? Not their boss?
What are you talking about, babe? I lost eight pounds.
Pretty soon I'm gonna be breaking out my skinny shirts.
I love when he dances.
Bring back the Hasselbeck.
You know what I got in my bank account?
$42. I need to get another job. Like, tonight.
Bobby, are you hiring?
Yeah, sure, if you can haul giant bags of concrete all day.
We could probably scrape together a few bucks for you.
Just Benny started college and somebody bought a boat!
Come on, babe, we're gonna relitigate this?
I paid significantly below market for that boat.
I had to buy it. It was a steal.
Why am I even trying to be a nurse?
I'm gonna be delivering pizzas
and cleaning carpets for the rest of my life.
Kate, don't say that. Hey, look.
Have a garlic knot.
It makes everything just a little bit better, I promise.
No, it doesn't.
No? I'll have one.
Moretti plays it back to midfield,
controlling the pace as always.
Oops.
Give me a second. Don't turn of.
My condom drawer's empty.
I'll fix this.
And the door was wide open, but Magnusson hesitates...
I've told the man repeatedly,
for the nine minutes I am having my supper,
I am off the clock.
What am I paying these people for?
- I'll be back. - Okay.
Please be here.
Damn it, I'm relentless.
Hmm.
Yes!
Five!
Whoa!
Help me, somebody!
Help me, please!
Please, anyone, help!
Colin! Help!
- Goal! - Yeah! Yeah!
Help me!
Help, Captain!
Help! Help, somebody!
Rough night, pal?
Hey!
I don't wanna get your hopes up, ma'am,
but we might have found him.
Like I told the officer,
I don't know what day it is. I don't know where I was born.
I don't even know my own name.
I remember nothing except waking up
on a beach with an ass full of sand.
You're a doctor, right?
Well, fix it.
And also...
Can I get a prettier nurse?
She is the pretty one.
Probably caused by acute trauma to the medial temporal lobe.
Amnesia, really? Is it permanent?
Well, the brain is a tricky thing.
He might get his memory back in a couple of days
or maybe never at all.
But to be honest, we've only had
one case of amnesia here in Elk Cove
and that was a pretty young woman back in the '80s.
Fingers crossed, this is your brother,
but this is a beach town, we do get our share of homeless here.
So what happens if he's just some poor guy living on the street?
Then he'll be shipped off to a psychiatric facility up in Salem.
- Oh, my God. - People get lost up there.
Here we are.
And he really remembers nothing?
Not a thing.
For the hundredth time, I don't want chicken or beef.
I want fish.
A simple, grilled piece of sea bass. With a buttery Chardonnay.
That's not my brother.
Do it! Today!
What are you waiting for?
Oh, shit.
Shit! Ow.
Shit!
Shit.
I got two weeks. I am having a total anxiety attack.
I can't make those girls move again.
Okay, honey, hang on. I got a half a Xanax in my purse.
We're gonna figure this out.
Kate. Look at this.
I was searching for a used lawnmower in the Beachcomber, and look what I found.
Amnesia. Right here in our little town.
I told you this stuff happens all the time.
Dude has no idea who he is.
Oh, my God.
That's him.
That's the asshole!
"An unidentified homeless man.
"General retrograde amnesia.
"There was hope a Mexico City woman
"yachting nearby might be his sister, but..."
That was his sister.
Unbelievable.
I bet she's pretending not to know him,
so she can take over the company.
They did that on Amor sin Maquillaje.
Okay.
We are going down to the hospital right now
and getting the money he owes me.
And add a little for pain and suffering, too.
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna add a lot. He treated me like crap.
Yeah, and I need new cleats.
We're all gonna get new cleats!
Okay, wait. Hey, Kate?
If he didn't pay you when he knew who you were,
what makes you think he's gonna pay you now?
This is so frustrating!
I hate rich people. They get away with everything.
But you know what? No, not this time.
Because I am not gonna tell them who he is.
I am just gonna let him rot in there.
Yeah, you could do that,
or you can be like them and take advantage of the situation.
How? How could I do that?
What?
State or federal?
All right, hey, girls. I'm gonna need you to help your mom
dig up some old family photos.
I'm gonna ask Bobby to loan us a box of his useless, skinny clothes,
because I have an idea that you're gonna hate,
but you're wrong because it is poetic in its justice.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm here to pick up my husband, the man with amnesia.
Oh. You must be Kate?
Dr. Fletcher was so excited to get your call.
We all were.
I'll go get him.
Almost forgot. Here's everything he had with him.
Thank you.
Wait, okay, you're just nervous.
Yeah, really nervous.
This is crazy and probably illegal.
Kate, come on. Where are you going?
Look, do you wanna get evicted?
Of course not.
Okay, well, then stick to the script. We have a plan.
One month until the test. Bobby will hire him,
and he'll be an extra paycheck, so you have time to study.
I barely know the guy. I am not gonna let him move in.
But you're gonna be there, studying.
That's why it's genius.
He'll never have to be alone with the kids.
Come on.
You're doing this for your girls.
I'm doing this for my girls.
There you go.
Okay, here, use this. Bobby won't even notice.
Good news.
Your wife has come to take you home.
Finally. It's about time.
What? Wait.
I'm married?
Hi, honey.
I do not recognize this lady.
I was afraid this would happen.
Did you bring the materials we talked about?
I know this must be very disorienting,
but here's our marriage license.
My name is Leo Sullivan?
Yes. Your great-grandfather...
Your great-great-grandfather, Finbar Sullivan,
emigrated from Ireland, to fight for Mexico in the war of 1846.
That's gobbledygook! It can't be true.
Honey, we have been married for 15 years.
We have three wonderful daughters.
No, there's no way I have children.
And if I did, they'd be sons.
I'm just saying.
I have your passport, your birth certificate...
Oh...
Here's a photo from our honeymoon.
We went to Reno?
Now I know you're lying.
Leo! Sweetie, stop puzzling.
I'm puzzling.
You and I are Mr. and Mrs. Leo Sullivan.
We met in Cancun.
You were a tour guide.
I was working on a cruise ship.
Is any of this ringing a bell?
Nope. Nothing.
We dated every time I docked.
We would get frozen yogurt
and watch the sunset over the Playa Tortugas.
That's where we fell in love.
Sounds like you're a romantic, Leo.
Look, look, look.
I admit there are many things I've forgotten,
but from the depths of my soul,
I know I'm not married to this woman.
So, unless I see some real proof,
I'm getting a slice of pie at the cafeteria, hmm?
Good luck, crazy lady.
Wait, wait. Wait. Honey?
I didn't wanna say this,
because I know it embarrasses you.
But you have a tattoo of a cartoon mouse on your right butt cheek.
No, I don't.
You're really my wife?
For better or worse, baby.
All right, here we are.
I know it doesn't look like much, but it's full of love.
I'm poor?
Yup.
Come on in.
Oh, Dad!
- Daddy! - We missed you so much.
I'm so glad you're okay.
Emily?
Hey.
She's too cool to admit it,
but she was the most worried of all.
I'm sorry, I don't recognize any of you.
Oh, come on.
Molly, Olivia, Emily,
your three musketeers?
No.
Uh... I've got homework.
How come they don't look like me?
Oh, sweetie...
We had trouble getting pregnant,
so we had to use a sperm donor.
I'm sterile?
That doesn't change a thing.
You are still their father.
You've done everything for this family.
Taken two, even three jobs.
I work?
How do you think we can pay for all of this?
I'm afraid to ask, but what do I do for a living?
Well, before you got laid off,
you were a foreman at the poultry processing plant.
Luckily, Bobby,
my boss's husband, you met bowling,
gave you a job at his construction company.
It is awful, backbreaking work, I know,
but we are lucky to have it.
I need a drink. Lots of them.
What? Please don't tell me I'm sober?
You had your three-year chip,
but then you relapsed
and you ended up on that beach.
So what is that? Four days? You got four days, honey.
- We're still really proud of you. - Mm-hmm.
I see.
No alcohol. Whatsoever.
Nada.
I need to use the restroom.
I assume it's that room over there with the toilet.
Look at you, babe. It's all coming back!
Boop.
I don't like that.
One more.
Boop, boop!
This can't be my life.
Honey!
- Hey! - Hi.
Running low on toilet paper.
Under the sink!
Of course.
Yes.
Under the sink, of course.
Please keep my beloved brother in your prayers
as you head back to Mexico.
I'm going to stay here until I find him.
Alive or...
Good thoughts, people. Only good thoughts.
I was fat?
Um, yeah. You didn't make the best decisions when you were drinking, honey.
Tomorrow we're going to Goodwill.
Bobby's skinny clothes are not skinny.
I assume these Seahawks are some kind of sports team
and I'm a big fan,
because most of my clothes
have this God-awful green and blue bird on it.
Football, Dad. It's our thing.
We watch every game together.
Even when I haven't done my homework.
Hey. Everyone does their homework.
Including me. And right now I've gotta memorize protocols for thoracic surgery.
So, Leo, why don't you get dinner started?
What? Cook? Me? Cook?
Sweetheart, I know you had a head injury,
but we made a deal.
While I'm studying for my exam,
you keep the house running.
But I don't even know how to turn on the stove.
Oh! Honey, come on.
Salad, pasta. There's a jar of sauce in the fridge.
Holy cow.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, uh, pardon me.
Nothing like an icy cold beer on a warm day.
Mmm, mmm.
Yes.
Ugh!
Is this the sauce we always use?
It tastes like red nothing.
And how are you supposed to tell when the noodles are done?
Taste one.
Mmm. Mmm.
Hot, hot, hot!
When's the maid coming?
As I'm saying this, I fear I'm the maid.
No one cleans like you do, sweetie.
This is awesome.
Honey?
Try not to dilly dally. We're all super hungry.
I like having a dad around.
He's not your dad, genius.
You agreed to have a good attitude.
And I'll have a great attitude if you let him babysit,
so I'm not stuck here watching these guys all the time.
We went over this. I don't want him to babysit.
Why does he only get to do your chores?
I wanna go to the pool like every other kid in my class.
I don't care! He's not babysitting.
'Cause you think he's a pervert?
Of course not!
What's a pervert?
- Nothing. - Then can I have one?
No! He's not babysitting. End of story.
Good night.
I never get anything.
So, is this where the magic happens?
You don't even remember who I am,
and you still wanna have sex with me?
Yes. Very much.
So, basically,
you wanna have sex with a complete stranger?
Yes. Very much.
All right, big boy.
You know the rules.
What? Hey, wait, wait, wait.
I'm not sleeping with you?
You need 30 days clean and sober.
You and your sponsor came up with that. It was your idea, not mine.
What are you saying?
- Boop! - You're gonna make me sleep on the couch?
Nope. We tried that last time
and you ended up in the liquor cabinet.
So, where am I sleeping?
Here you go.
You have a cot and everything.
All right,
so I'm gonna lock up the house for the night.
If you need to use the bathroom,
here you go.
I'm a nobody.
A poor, sterile, drunk nobody,
who has to pee in a bottle.
But you're my nobody.
All right, Bobby's picking you up in the morning, bright and early.
So you need to get some rest, okay?
Oh, and watch out for bears.
Buenos dias.
- Nice shirt. - Thank you.
Yeah, don't spill on it.
It's a classic and everything.
Seriously, they're hard to find.
Okay, everybody.
This is Leo.
Burro. Burrito.
Vito, because he loves The Godfather.
This is my worthless nephew, Jason.
We call him Lucky, because he's lucky to have a job.
And 'cause I got hit by lightning. Twice. For real.
I shouldn't even be here.
Yeah. Gordo was like, "Whoa, shit!"
Bro, you don't get to call me that, okay?
And don't be so cocky. I used to look just like you.
The hair, the abs, the little bedroom eyes.
You definitely don't get to call me that.
You gotta work for me at least six months, okay?
Come on, we got a pool to dig. Let's go.
Hey.
Listen, I'm pretty sure I've never worked construction.
So, I might be more suited for running errands,
or maybe some light office work.
I could be the guy who gets the muffins.
Look, I got your back, all right?
- I'll go easy on you. - Good.
Great.
Yo!
Any of this jogging your memory, Lady Hands?
After this I got a real easy job for you.
No, I'm just kidding, bro.
Uh...
No, no, no.
- Coffee. - Yes.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Look at this guy.
He's got it all dialed in, with his espresso machine
and that sweet little peach.
That's gonna be me one day.
You can come over whenever you want, bro.
Hey, guys?
Can I get you to haul the dirt on the other side of the house?
I know it's longer,
but Nadia and I are trying to have a quiet morning.
- Right. - No speak English.
Sorry. I will talk to Bobby.
Si. Bobby.
I love doing that.
Remember, when you're washing the jersey, cold water.
You listen. Gentle cycle. Okay?
Bueno.
Hey, respecting the wash instructions
is the best way to respect the team.
And no reds, they tend to bleed!
Tortured, tired, thirsty.
Hi, honey! How was your first day?
Terrible. My body.
Pain. Every. Part.
Oh.
I was in the car...
And I said, "What?"
Do we need to take him to the hospital?
- I said, "Bobby..." - No, no, no. No.
He is fine. He just needs some rest.
Rest. Rest.
Oh, that's right.
Dirt is...
You know what? Why don't you take a few minutes,
before you get started on all the things you have to do tonight?
What? There's more?
I know you're having trouble remembering,
so I made you a list.
No, no, no.
It's physically impossible for me to get off this couch.
I mean, my legs are no longer functioning.
Look. Look.
I want, but I can't.
And even if I could move...
I wouldn't want to do any of the vile things on this list.
There's a couple more on the back, too.
I know that guy. How do I know that guy?
Hey. Do you work at Jiffy Lube?
God, I hope not.
This is gonna drive me crazy.
Is this new sauce? It tastes different.
Yeah. I added a few things.
Some chopped onion, a little red pepper
and a pinch of something called cumin.
I couldn't bear another bowl of that tasteless slop.
I like it. I like it a lot.
It's better, right?
I don't know.
I feel like we've been having pasta too much.
Maybe you should mix it up a little.
Okay, I'm gonna take mine up to study.
Hey, after you clean the kitchen, don't forget, it's garbage day.
It's entirely clear to me now why I blocked out my life, Fiona.
It's a hideous existence.
Good night, you guys. I love you.
- Good night, Mom. - Love you.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Aren't you exhausted?
Who would use exhaustion as an excuse to not make love?
Everybody.
To the shed. I know. I know. It's hard for me, too.
Nice work today.
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Turn it off!
Yo, I'm gonna post this on my Snapchat.
I'm gonna make you a little beaver, bro.
How come we always get the shit jobs?
Because you're unskilled laborers!
Land of the free, no land of the free lunch.
Okay. You are a genius.
I got seven hours of sleep last night,
and guess what he's making for dinner?
Chicken skewers, coconut rice.
Aw, I want a fake husband.
Thank you. Thank you.
I got more studying done this week than I have in months.
Maybe next time I ask you to commit a crime,
you won't fight me on it.
Bro, you're lucky you have amnesia.
I remember when I thought my nephew
was actually gonna do something with his life.
Music is something. I'm an artist.
You're sleeping on my couch, bro.
Yeah, well, that tune's gonna change
when I thank you at the Grammys, Gordo.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
You better pick it up, dawg. You know what I'm saying?
'Cause the Diaz metabolism slows down around 30.
See this right here?
It's not gonna get you on the charts, dawg.
I got some work I don't feel like doing.
Why do you even wear that hard hat, man?
"Act like a man."
Act like a man.
Act like a man!
- See you tomorrow, Bobby. - Okay, brother.
Hey, remember, don't tell Theresa about the chicken parm.
Hey.
I got you something.
Frozen yogurt.
Like the old days on the Playa.
- What? - On the Playa Tortugas.
Oh, oh.
Right. Yeah, the sunsets.
- Yeah. - Yes. Good times.
I couldn't remember which flavors we liked,
so I got an assortment.
Thanks. This was
really nice of you.
I know I haven't been the easiest to live with lately,
but I'm gonna try a little harder.
I can't promise a lot harder, but maybe I'll surprise myself.
Well, keep doing this.
Maybe next time, bring some toppings.
Mmm.
Mango. I love mango.
Have I always loved mango?
As long as I've known you.
Ah, yes.
When we were young
and couldn't keep our hands off each other.
No.
Okay.
Well... I'll be in my shed.
Trying to have a good attitude.
Just me and the spiders.
Oh.
Forgot my bathroom.
Whew. Whew!
I'm calling to get a death certificate for Leonardo Montenegro.
He died a couple of weeks ago in a shark attack.
Yes. An attack by a shark fish?
I think I'm saying that correctly.
Montenegro.
Burro.
Burrito.
Hey! Hey!
- Thanks, Bobby. - You got it, bro.
- All right. - Hey!
- Hey, sweetie!
Bueno.
Oi, remember Hasselbeck.
He's way more mobile than people give him credit for.
Hey.
- Why aren't you riding? - It's no fun with training wheels.
I never taught you to ride a bike?
It's okay. Some dads can't be around that much.
No, it's not okay.
I'm gonna fix this. Right now.
Let me just put this away. Okay?
What are you doing here?
They got us working bankers' hours today.
Whatever those are.
So then it's cool if you watch those guys,
so I can go to the pool?
Yeah, sure. Why not?
Thanks, Dad.
- Hey, Mom. - You're gonna be blown away.
Modern Senior magazine said my performance stole the show.
And the Saint Jude wellness newsletter featured me on the cover.
That certainly justifies leaving me without childcare.
Life's short, Kate.
You gotta do what makes you happy.
I don't wanna have regrets
just because I didn't do what I wanted to do.
You'll understand someday, honey.
Shit! I gotta go, Mom.
Everyone's looking.
I don't care!
I asked you for one month, just watch your sisters.
And we don't even know anything about this guy.
Whose fault is that? I didn't bring him into the house.
That's not the point.
And I'll tell you why in two minutes.
We're not done talking about this!
And because of you, their pizza was cold
and they gave me a lousy tip.
Maybe you got a bad tip because you run like a duck.
You better hope everything's okay.
I hate this. I hate this whole thing. It's so stupid.
I love the Seahawks!
Our team just ran the ball to the finish line.
The end zone. We've been over this.
Oh, right. Touchdown.
It's coming back slowly.
See, Mom, everything's fine. No one died.
Oh, and, Kate, I got some of the guys to help me fix that leak in the roof.
And you unpacked the boxes?
Oh, yeah, yeah. And I found these pillows.
The couch needed a splash of color.
What?
"Little by little, the bird builds its nest." It's French.
Wait. I speak French.
Why do I speak French?
Uh...
Well, you were a tour guide,
and it's well-known that Parisians love Cancun.
For it's chips and salsa and its flamenco dancers.
Thanks for humiliating me for nothing.
Hey! Hey, we had a deal, and you didn't stick to it.
You're grounded.
Who cares? I'm basically a prisoner here anyway!
- For a week! - Kate, Kate, Kate. Hey.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Okay, listen, you remember what it's like to be 13.
I don't, but you probably do.
What are you getting at?
And no phone!
Hey, hey, I just think maybe you're being...
I don't know, a little hard on her.
Don't tell me how to raise my kids.
"Your kids"?
Hey. Listen.
Just because those girls were not conceived with my seed,
doesn't make me any less their father or a man.
Of course not. I just...
I'm not done.
All I do is work and work and slave for this family.
I may not have put us in the lap of luxury,
but I'm a provider.
What you said was a low blow.
An unfair and hurtful low blow.
- Honey, I... - Low blow.
I need some air.
Leo!
Right after I check the score.
And it is good!
- We lost. - A stunning win for Arizona.
I hope you're happy.
- Where are you going? - I don't know.
And not because I don't remember, hmm?
Because I don't know.
My name is Leo and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Leo.
To be honest, I don't really remember my drinking days.
- Yep. - Been there.
I got in a fight with my wife tonight.
I stood outside a bar for 20 minutes.
I came this close. This...
But here I am.
- Keep coming back. - One day at a time.
♪ Bloody stools Bloody stools, bloody stools
♪ Antiplatelet, bloody stools ♪
Holy shit!
Leonardo Montenegro.
Yeah, he was murdered by a shark in your district several weeks ago.
Sorry, ma'am.
Haven't had a shark attack around here in four years.
Really?
Don't you have to check with other police stations?
Lady, I promise you,
if anyone's gonna hear about a shark attack,
it's gonna be me.
Good luck to you.
Hmm.
- Hey. - Hey.
Um...
Sorry about tonight.
I'm the one who should apologize.
No, I really need to keep my side of the street clean
and, you know, cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
I overreacted. I talked to Emily and ungrounded her.
I'm just so stressed out about this test.
Well, you've been working so hard and...
I got it.
And I've been thinking how I can help.
So I talked to Theresa
and she's okay with me picking up a few of your shifts.
- Really? You'd do that for me? - Yeah.
I'm not being selfless.
I'm just thinking of myself less.
You like it with milk, right?
And a little sugar.
Oh, and I'll take the kids all day Sunday so you can study.
By yourself? I can't let...
Actually, that would be amazing.
Great.
I was also thinking that I should... Oh! Ah!
Sharp knife. Blood. Blood. Lots of blood.
- I do not like blood. - All right.
All right, take it easy. You're okay.
- Let me see, let me see. - Help.
I'm just gonna wash it off.
Feeling queasy. Gonna faint.
No. You're not gonna faint.
- I'm fainting. - No.
The room is spinning.
All right, let's just sit you down over here.
How bad is it?
Should I go to the hospital? Do I need a tourniquet?
Relax. You are with a trained professional.
- Do I need stitches? - No.
Please help me. I'm bleeding to death.
Oh, God! It's really deep.
What the hell are you doing?
Cleaning the cut. My God, you're such a baby!
I got this.
I took a whole class on it.
Dressing wounds?
Dealing with hysterical patients.
All right.
Okay.
There.
You have very good bedside manner.
- You think so? - Yeah.
Sometimes I worry about that.
No. No, you're a natural.
All right. There you go. Good as new.
Well, um...
I guess I'll let you study.
Thanks for taking such good care of me.
Okay.
Good night.
Wait.
You can sleep inside. Downstairs, on the couch.
You've made me very happy.
We'll pick you up after the game, hmm?
You're welcome!
Why can't we go swimming?
We're giving your sister a little space.
Too much space.
We're giving her too much space.
Everyone's watching.
I don't care!
I don't have to listen to you. You're not even my real dad.
What? Your mother told you?
Well, I'm still not letting you throw your life away
for some sex-crazed, curly-haired wolf.
That boy wants one thing and one thing only.
He's gay.
Okay. One different thing.
What are you doing? Why are you crying?
Because I'm miserable.
You are?
Yeah.
I was really popular in Portland,
and here everyone's on group texts that I'm not a part of.
And there's this boy in my Spanish class that I like,
but he doesn't know that I exist.
And he's friends with the lifeguard here and that's...
Wait, you're taking Spanish?
Muy bien.
Your pronunciation is very natural.
I mean, you still need to roll the "R's".
What?
Say it.
- You have to... Okay, okay. - Dad!
How could he not know you exist?
You're a beautiful, smart, thoughtful young woman.
He'd be lucky to be your boyfriend.
But you're way too young for a boyfriend.
They'd all be lucky to be your boyfriend.
Every boy here should beg to be your boyfriend.
But I forbid it. I forbid it!
I know I'm all over the map. It's just...
It's very confusing having a daughter.
Look. I'm not gonna do anything stupid. All right?
Gracias.
Blue 52. Hot route left.
Hut, hut, hike!
Yes! Yes!
Go, go, go. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Go! Go! Go! Yes!
Woo-hoo!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
- Go team! Yeah, we did it! - That's my daughter.
We know.
Second touchdown.
We're winning, actually.
Yeah, we kicked their butts!
- Thanks for rescuing me. - Ah.
My mind was turning into mush.
Hey, Molly!
When did you learn how to ride without training wheels?
Dad taught me.
She only fell once.
Faster! Faster! Faster!
Come on, come on, come on! Yes, yes, yes!
Whoo!
So how do I get rid of the brain freeze?
- Go like this. - Like this?
Mmm.
Are you gonna leave us?
What do you mean? Of course not. I'm your dad.
Sometimes dads leave.
Well, I guess maybe they do, but I'm not going anywhere.
You're stuck with me.
Thank you.
"A. Sudden weight gain. B. Abdominal itch.
"C. Bloody stools. D. Light..."
Bloody stools.
Ay, Papa!
Papa!
Colin, were you with Magdalena
when she identified my brother's body?
No, ma'am, she was quite insistent on handling the matter herself.
Are you insinuating?
Should I be insinuating?
And before you answer that, remember I'm Scottish.
I can do this all day long.
Hey! So, the test?
There was a couple that I blanked on, but at least it's over.
Now I don't have to keep up this insane lie.
Are you sure you don't wanna wait a couple of weeks before you tell him?
I mean, good help is hard to find.
Yeah, totally. And the guys are really starting to like him, too.
No. No. Fair is fair. He has paid his debt.
I have tortured him long enough.
Okay.
You're really gonna hate doing your own laundry again.
Guys...
I feel pretty nervous.
I think he's gonna freak out.
Freak out?
Kate, you're telling a ditch digger he's a billionaire, you know.
I'm pretty sure he's gonna be okay with it.
Yeah.
Hey.
Uh, I need to talk to you.
Yeah. What's up?
I have to confess something, and I don't know where to start.
Well, whatever it is,
I'm sure it's not that big of a deal.
- It's pretty big. - Yeah?
And this is gonna sound crazy.
Maybe funny-crazy or crazy-crazy.
But I did something terrible.
Hold that thought.
Girls!
Dinner's ready!
Yeah. Sit down, please.
- Be careful, it's hot. - It smells so good.
- I hope it tastes good. - It looks so good.
Use a spoon. Mmm.
So...
What's this awful thing you need to confess?
I...
Come on, I'm your husband. You can tell me anything.
I forgot it's our anniversary.
Really?
Today?
Happy anniversary!
We're going out!
You guys are really good.
Thanks, bro. Tell my uncle.
Fifteen years.
A lot of couples don't make it that long.
Yeah.
Thanks for sticking with me.
I know I haven't made things easy.
- It's pretty out here. - Beautiful.
Do you know what it means when a ship honks three times like that?
Someone told me once, but I forgot.
Yes, I do.
It's based on an old, Spanish legend.
Yeah.
Very romantic, by the way.
You see, there was a poor housemaid named Catalina.
She was very pretty and caught the eye of the colonial governor's son, Arturo.
Okay, wait. You don't remember anything,
yet you remember this?
It's a very famous legend.
So, they fell in love.
Of course.
But Arturo's father forbade it.
He couldn't have his only son running around with a commoner.
So, he ordered Arturo to return to Spain, which he did.
But not before promising Catalina
he'd come back and signal for her
with three long blasts.
Just like you heard.
This sounds suspiciously like one of the shows the kitchen guys watch.
- I have no idea what you're talking about. - Uh-huh.
Anyway, a year later, everything went as planned.
She swam out, but the fog was too thick.
He called out, "Catalina! Catalina!"
She yelled back, "Arturo! Arturo!"
And with that, he dove into the water.
They reunited,
and Catalina, who, up until that point,
had been resisting him
because of some test she had to study for,
finally let him kiss her.
Hmm.
Oh. Now I remember.
Three honks means a boat's about to go in reverse.
Okay.
Maybe. Factually.
But I...
Was it always this good?
Every time with you is like the first time.
Look at this thing. We built it.
Your first pool, bro.
Good job.
Hey, look at you, you got working man hands now.
Yeah!
Yes, I do!
That's good.
Take that play, get off the block there by Laken Tomlinson.
This guy will be a defensive MVP one day, I guarantee you.
Dad, what's a pervert?
Um...
Well, uh...
When a man
has a van...
Kate!
Molly has a question for you.
What is taking them so long?
Would you relax?
They said they were gonna post the results after 2:00 p.m.
All right. Halftime.
I'm getting lunch.
Oh, wait. Where's my list?
Here.
Mmm... Ciao.
Wait! Hey, I forgot.
Honey!
Get coleslaw, okay? And maybe some potato chips.
Okay, got it.
Write it down. I know you. You're gonna forget.
And get cookies. I want cookies.
Cookies.
Pen.
Kate!
What's the matter?
I don't know. I was just wondering
what the wife on an infertile man would be doing
with a strip of ribbed, reservoir-tipped Trojans?
Okay...
This is not what you think.
It's nothing.
Nothing? We made a vow.
A sacred vow, which I kept, I think.
And don't assume I didn't have opportunities,
because I did.
Lots and lots of them. Probably.
This is nuts.
You know what, I'm glad.
I'm glad you found these,
because I have been trying to think of a way to tell you this.
You and I...
We're not really married.
Have I not made you happy?
Yes, but that's not the point.
I'm not your wife.
Those kids in there, they're not your children.
Oh, this again.
Low blow.
All right, come on. Come on!
Girls?
Girls, I just told him the truth, and I want you to tell him, too.
Go ahead, tell him.
Tell him what?
Tell him he's not your dad.
But he is our dad?
No, don't tell him what I told you to tell him.
Tell him what really happened. Emily?
He got drunk and blacked out on the beach.
We were really worried. I couldn't sleep.
No, damn it! Tell him the truth!
Don't you speak to my three musketeers like that.
I've had it.
What do you think you're doing?
- We like him. - We want to keep him.
You can't keep him. He doesn't belong to you.
He didn't belong to you, either, but that didn't stop you.
- You know I have my reasons. - So do we.
Leo, listen. Look, look, look. Those condoms aren't Kate's.
They're mine.
Don't cover for her.
No, I'm not. She's covering for me.
Yeah. I'm the one sleeping with the customers.
Really?
I have a problem, Leo. I'm obsessed with sex.
Come on.
I'm a sex addict! It's a real thing.
What are you talking about?
Kate! I confessed.
You don't have to lie for me anymore.
I can finally get the help I need.
Now, don't worry. You don't have to tell Bobby.
I'll tell him.
Do you hate me?
Of course not.
I know the flesh is weak.
Hey, one day at a time. Hmm?
Yeah, one day at a time.
I'm so sorry I didn't trust you.
That really scared me.
It was like my whole life was a lie.
Come on, they're back on the field!
Hey. Second half's about to start.
Mind doing the sandwich run?
What are you doing?
I can't keep this up forever.
Why not?
Okay, look, I know your relationship's a little unconventional.
But whose isn't? You guys are good together.
Stop fighting it.
I'll tell you one thing.
Pretend or not, Bobby's Latin ego is not gonna like being cheated on.
- Kate! - Shit.
They told him.
You passed! You're a nurse!
Congratulations, Mom!
- Hike! - Let's do this.
- Hey, Gordo. - Hey.
You okay?
Huh? Oh.
Yeah, well, you know, I've been better.
Yeah.
But this is the wake-up call we needed.
I wasn't as attentive to her needs as I should have been.
You know, I can be emotionally remote, bro.
We're starting couples therapy.
- Oh, good. - Yeah.
Just, whatever you do, you know, don't...
I'm sorry, take Kate for granted. Because...
Look, I know we can be a little machista.
- It's our way. Yeah. - You know?
But your vulnerability and honesty really touches me.
You owe me.
I know.
Oh, yeah, this is a Christmas card.
Oh, God, it's cold!
I got you!
That's him. The chicken fight guy.
Hold the ashes! Sorry, sorry.
This was taken 20 minutes ago.
- Leonardo? - What?
It's Leonardo!
Hey, you guys! You guys!
Before I cut the cake,
I just want to thank you all for being here.
I could not have passed the test without you all.
- Nurse Kate! - Nurse Kate!
Especially you, Leo.
He cooked, he cleaned.
He worked two jobs, he kept me laughing.
And if you haven't tried the empanadas yet,
they are delicious. He made them.
They're gone!
What, babe?
They're delicious, bro.
Wait, wait, wait.
I want to say something, too.
I mean, look at this face.
- Look at this face. - Oh!
Isn't this the most beautiful face you've ever seen?
Second. Second most beautiful.
She's too good for you!
And also, I don't remember the first time I did this,
and that doesn't feel right.
So, Kate,
will you marry me again?
Holy crap.
Yeah.
Yes! Yes, I will!
- She said yes! - She said yes!
That's what I'm talking about, Leo!
Go, Mom!
That's what I'm talking about, bro!
That's my boy right there.
Okay, that's love, baby.
"'And now, gentlemen, ' said d'Artagnan, without stopping to explain his conduct,
"'all for one, and one for all.
"'That is our motto, is it not?
"'But still, look here.'"
Wow.
Whose fancy car is that?
That's so cool.
Hey, Papi!
Sofia!
Hi, Magda!
Let me just drop this in the house.
Hey.
Papi.
Sofia.
Magda.
Oh, my God, I remember.
I'm Leonardo Montenegro.
Kate!
I'm cured!
The doctor said my memory could come back suddenly,
and he was right.
I mean, I saw Papi...
I walked past him into the house and poof!
It came back!
Honey, ask me anything.
Ask me about my childhood in Mexico City.
About my car collection.
About my money.
Money. I have money!
Lots and lots of money.
This is the happiest day of my life!
Wait.
You're not my wife.
Why would you make me think...
Why would you do that to me?
I know why.
You're that awful carpet cleaner lady who hates me.
And...
And these are your kids
and you made me believe...
Oh, God.
You tricked me.
You used me.
Leo...
No, no, no.
My name is not Leo.
It's Leonardo.
And I don't belong with you.
And I don't belong with them.
I'll get my things.
There's nothing in there that's mine.
For what it's worth...
I'm sorry.
And...
And thank you.
Hey.
Girls.
Don't go!
Dad! Dad! Don't go.
Dad! Dad!
Dad!
No! Don't go, don't go!
Wait, no.
Daddy!
Daddy, wait!
Welcome back, sir.
Your funeral was lovely, by the way.
I liked Dad's sauce better.
Sweetie, you know he was never really your dad.
You should have tried to stop him.
What was I gonna say?
I lied to him. I basically kidnapped the man.
So what? You're obviously totally in love with him.
What does it matter now?
He's back to his old life,
with his servants and supermodels.
It's over.
Now finish up, 'cause Grandma can't wait to see ya.
No, I don't drink.
Wait, wait. I do drink.
Fill her up, Colin!
Yes, that was definitely my recollection, sir.
- Give me the bottle. - Ah, what was I thinking?
This is horrifying.
Why is she doing this?
Because life's short, and you don't wanna have regrets.
Come on. We're getting Leo.
Yay!
Excuse us. Diarrhea. Excuse us.
Where are you going?
- I'll call you. - Yes, yes, yes!
Hurry up, we gotta catch him.
Sir, you should have called me.
I'd have gotten that for you.
You know, it's funny.
I've had this boat for 10 years,
and I don't think I ever stepped foot in here.
Well, that's because you have people
to take care of everything for you.
You know, when I was working construction,
I hated rich assholes like me.
Hmm.
Did you hate me, Colin? You can be honest.
Well. If I may remind you, sir,
the reason I got this job was because the last steward was honest.
Eh.
Can I confess something?
Hmm.
I'm not exactly sure where I fit in anymore.
Is that crazy?
Most of us only know the world that we're born into.
You've had the privilege of seeing life from an entirely different perspective.
Yeah, I did.
And it sucked, didn't it?
What's up, Kate?
Bobby, we need your boat!
You hear that? She needs my boat.
She needs it.
"There was hope a Mexico City woman
"yachting nearby might be his sister."
Three.
Three! That's Kate!
That's Kate.
Leonardo.
Move away, Captain.
Arturo! Arturo!
Catalina! Catalina!
- They're turning! - Mom! Mom! Mom!
They're turning around. Why are they turning around?
- I don't know. - Bobby, do something.
No, no, no!
Papa!
Come on, come on, we're losing them!
Can't this thing go any faster?
No, it's a leisure boat, babe!
Just admit you overpaid.
Okay, okay, I overpaid!
We're never gonna catch them.
I should have sprung for the 40-footer.
I'm sorry, Kate. There's nothing I can do.
I love you, Kate!
I love you, too!
What's he doing?
- Oh, my God! - Whoa! That was amazing!
Man overboard!
- What? Kate! - Mom!
- Kate.
I'm coming!
Mom! What are you doing?
What are you waiting for? Get the dinghy!
Get the dinghy, bro!
I never want to be apart from you!
I'll never let you go again!
Leonardo!
Never actually been in this thing, bro.
Mom! What is he doing?
I don't know!
I'm negotiating!
Kate, get in here! You're gonna drown. Come on!
Leo!
Honey, are you coming?
This is not how I envisioned this moment.
I know. I know.
It's just that most people don't actually
have to choose between love and money.
It's not easy.
It's easy. I choose you.
Oye, Leo, you're giving up a lot, dude.
No one would begrudge you if you wanted to take a few minutes.
Bobby, would you stay out of this?
What? I'm just saying!
Love fades, okay? I mean, it's wonderful.
But some of the excitement goes away. Now, money...
Bobby! Shut the hell up!
- You shut up, babe! - Yeah! Shut the hell up!
Kate, listen.
My life was richer when I was poor with you
than when I had all the money in the world.
If I jump back in the water,
will you promise to kiss me this time?
Yes.
Go, Kate!
Ay.
Go, Mom!
Lunches are done!
Bobby's picking me up in five.
All right. You sure you can pick up the girls from school today?
- Uh, yeah. - I got it.
Emily, tell him I'm coming.
Yes.
Then I'll drop Olivia at football practice,
but you have to pick her up.
- Colin? - Hello again.
What on Earth?
Hey, come here.
What are you doing here?
I was hoping you might be in the market
for a top-notch, Scottish nanny with excellent references.
You know I'd love that,
but there's no way we can afford you.
Well, in fact you can, sir.
Sofia sent me back with the yacht.
She wanted to remind you
it was a birthday present from your father.
The deed is in your name. It's still yours.
Oh, my God.
You mean I can sell it?
It must be worth a fortune.
Over 60 million.
Pesos?
God, no, ma'am. Dollars.
Oh.
By the power invested in me by the Royal Norwegian Navy,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
- Go, Mom! - Go, Mom!
Go, Dad!
Okay.
Before I toast the happy couple,
let me just dispel a few rumors
that have been floating around
about me being cheated on.
Never happened. Okay? Not once, not ever.
There's just so much I wanna say.
But I'm not a poet.
I don't have words.
I have music.
I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you.
But I'm here in the Philippines,
spearheading the Montenegros' Children's Education Initiative,
and, oh, I've been here helping these kids
have a happier, better life, and they adore me.
- Right? - No.
When we first met,
I was the catch. Okay?
I was the football player.
I was the quarterback, all right?
She didn't even make cheerleader.
She was on the spirit squad.
When I look at Leo...
When I look at Kate...
When I look at Leo and Kate...
Right now, I'm backstage
at the Golden Pond Retirement Home,
about five minutes from curtain.
I'm playing Hodel in Fiddler on the Roof.
And I thought now was a good time to talk about allowance.
♪ Leo has the best spaghetti I ever tasted ♪
I have never in all my puff been at a wedding
where there's been a free bar.
Usually, at the end, the tries to settle up the bill.
And they're, "Oh, no, I didn't have it.
"I only had beer, you"
There's always a at a wedding.
Leonardo.
Bobby has asked me to read a prepared statement.
"I never cheated on my husband.
"I never would.
"No woman ever would."
- Mwah! - Cheers.
Mmm.
Ah!
Whoo!
جديدترين اخبار فيلم و سريال در کانال تلگرام و اینستاگرام سايت .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.