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[Faint thunder rumbling]
[Priest speaking Latin]
[Tractor motor rumbling]
[Man] She was furious with me because if! Had my law degree,
I could have represented us.
The jury ruled against me. I told my lawyer! Considered suicide.
I drove home from nyack, and guess what?
She had left me. I recall almost a sigh of relief...
[Woman] Somehow it made a lasting impression on her life.
My first child came easy enough.
But with Patricia they had to open me up under anesthesia.
I've often thought that perhaps the reason...
[Man 2] I told them when I got here, "okay, I explored the criminal lifestyle."
But I was an altar boy, for Christ's sake.
Moltisanti is a religious name. And still I'm fucked.
I met death on route 23, not too far from here.
But that was much later.
Back in 1967, the man wearing the hat was my father.
In those days, he didn't have a son.
Five dollars says I spot him first.
I don't got five dollars.
- Then you better win, gagootz. - [Chuckles]
Huh?
- Uncle dick, think fast. - You want to fight, huh?
[Christopher] The little fat kid is my uncle, Tony. Soprano.
[Dickie] Your arms are too short. You got nothing.
[Boat horn blowing]
[Christopher] Well, we call him my uncle, by marriage.
- He choked me to death. - [Boat horn blowing]
There! Pay up.
We have a winner, ladies and gents. Huh?
[Christopher] My grandfather and his brother
were with the dili/leo crime family in Newark.
My grandfather was an associate, but he stacked
- more scharol than any of the made guys. - Pop!
Hey, there he is!
[Christopher] Including a Cadillac dealership.
Cara Mia, fammi presentare mio fig/io, Richard moltisanti.
Everybody calls me Dickie.
Welcome to america.
Benvenuta.
[Laughing] America!
Most guys 65 go to Europe on vacation, they come back with the gout.
You come back with the winner, miss provolone, 1967.
[Both laughing]
Oh. Antonio soprano.
[Speaks Italian]
[Christopher] After he murdered me,
Tony gave my wife and baby his pocket change.
But that was much later.
["Stardust" by Artie Shaw playing faintly on radio]
[Speaks Italian]
I'm embarrassed. You're all such great cooks over there.
Can you translate for me?
Forget it. She understands enough.
[Wine pouring]
[Raps glass on table]
[Clearing throat] Giuseppina...
[Speaking slowly] What does your family do over there?
-Mio padre—— -the fascists killed her old man.
Her mother never recovered.
Fuckin' Mussolini.
I don't get it. When I was a kid, you and vito genovese always praised Mussolini.
Let's not talk politics at the table.
But I'll tell you, dick, it's paradise over there.
On the one hand, you can't believe the beauty.
On the other hand, they don't even have toilets.
I told giuseppina, that you're gonna live the life of a proud American lady.
And I'm gonna have my second set of children with you.
And they'll be deluged with a life that they could never even imagine over there.
Like you were, dick, as a kid.
These'll be your brothers and sisters.
[Clears throat, chuckling] So...
Giuseppina is your stepmother, Dickie.
[Laughter]
[Father grunting, muffled]
[Wall thumping]
[Coughing]
[Giuseppina and father moaning]
[Grunting and thumping continue]
["The jam" by Graham central station playing]
[Panting]
[Horn blaring]
[Cries out]
It wasn't me who ripped you off!
Oh yeah? Oh, yeah? Come on!
[Both grunting]
["The ballad of the green berets" by Barry sadler playing on car radio]
- [Blows landing] - [Men grunting]
[Radio switches off]
- [Young man] Shit! - Harold.
All right, already.
- [Harold] This punk ass snapper. - [Man panting]
Japped one of our runners, took 600 bucks.
[Grunting]
- I want a full bag tomorrow. - Who the fuck are you?
The guy who one time put out somebody's eye for talkin' to him like that.
- [Panting] - You winded there, Jesse Owens?
[Laughs breathlessly]
- I gotta quit smoking. - I agree.
Can't I get you to switch to newports?
[Groaning]
["Danger heartbreak dead ahead" by the marvelettes playing on radio]
[Men chattering faintly]
Hey, Harold. My son here say he gonna be Hank Aaron when he grown up.
[Boy] I'm gonna hit .318 like him.
- 318, your lucky number, boy, play it. - [Woman] Yeah.
Numbers is the only chance black folks got to get out of this sinkhole city.
How does that work, anyway?
Well, you pick out three numbers, like for you, three-one-eight.
You bet a quarter, and if your numbers come on at the race track
then you win $125 for a quarter.
- For a quarter? - Mm.
Bet a dollar, you get 500 dollars.
- [Boy] You shitting me, Harold? - —uh!
What if my numbers don't come out?
Well, if your numbers don't hit, you don't get nothing.
Harold collects everybody's bets and gives it to the man.
How you think the Italians drive those long, fancy cars
and wear those diamond Swiss watches on their wrists?
[Up-tempo accordion music playing]
[Guests chattering, indistinct]
[Microphone feedback squealing]
Thank you. Thank you, everybody, welcome.
Uh... well, mostly, I, uh...
- —I just want to say how PR... - [Making fart noises]
[Tony laughing]
Knock it off, Anthony.
I want to say how proud I am of my big girl, Janice...
Who is today... a woman.
- [Man] Cheers! - [Applause]
You know, Janice, she, uh...
She went to her catechism. She practiced her Latin.
She even stopped watching those two stunods, Sonny and Cher,
- long enough to think about god, huh? - Too much fucking salt on this...
At least for a minute or two, but... Boy, did she cost me.
You know, I made a bet that, uh, Janice would not do her religious duties.
But if Janice did, you know, got confirmed...
I'd shave off my mustache.
- [Scattered laughter, friendly jeers] - —ohhh.
- Enjoy. - His comare told him
it makes him look like Robert goulet.
[Music resumes]
- This stuff ain't so authentic. - —ah! Ow!
Just use your fork.
But, uh, you know, the gravy's good.
[Man] Oh.
- Your daughter's confirmation. - Come here.
- Congrats, skip. - I'm here, too, Mr. Handsome.
Yeah, and looking like a million dollars.
And not Mexican dollars, either.
What are you talking about?
Same fucking gang.
Colored kids hit one of my colored runners.
Threw him a beating.
You believe this? How these people prey on their own?
Hey, boot dimeo's gonna rag on me when he sees this.
[Man 2] It looks bad too, perception-wise.
Even the papers say the numbers is the biggest percentage of our cash flow.
Junior's right, you gotta get your arms around this.
You got big ears there, gagootz?
Big brother, go and get yourself some pez. [Clicks tongue]
[Chuckling]
Silvio, puss, come here.
-Marone! —oh!
Huh? The second Mrs. Hollywood dick.
I was just explaining to his holiness, here.
I think I went to school with your father.
Calogero Dante. "Butch."
He said you were a bully.
Whoa, what do we got here?
The Italian actress, Sophia lotsa-pizza,
get out of here, you fucking mutt!
- —Sorry. - Buddha. It's Joe d.
He's up at the boot's mansion.
Mr. DiMaggio. Come stai?
Your saints name, you took in church today, apollonia?
She's the patron Saint of dentists.
Take it from me, chains are more effective than snow tires.
[Bishop] Why didn't you bring the missus, dick?
I tried, but the poor kid's self-conscious about her English.
She's making progress, though.
- I didn't catch the name. - Pussy.
[Laughs] Don't worry, father, it's not what you think it is.
[Laughter]
[Teacher] This is my dog.
[Class] This is my dog.
[Teacher] This is your dog.
[Class] This is your dog.
[Whispering] Your dog.
[Radio announcer] Buddy durham in the light trunks... the white trunks.
Durham has always been known as a counter-puncher...
Hah.
[Announced he gets a great hook in there.
[Hollywood dick] Hey.
[Kissing]
What did you learn to say?
This... is... his... bail.
[Announcer continues, indistinct]
Whose ball?
Spot.
[Groans] I think this is a waste of money.
[Radio dj] We hear from hoboken's own chairman of the board.
[On radio] Hi, there, my name is Francis Albert Sinatra
and I got news for you. Here's your host, William b. Williams.
My mother met his mother once. Frank.
Frank? [Chuckles]
He grabbed me to go to some party once.
It was on the Upper East Side, it was a penthouse.
Some celebrity, I don't know who.
So... he and Dean, they have this donkey brought downstairs to the basement.
And the donkey's just stuffed full of laxatives, right?
So they put it in the private elevator.
They send the private elevator up, the door opens,
and the donkey starts kicking and shitting over everybody in the party!
[Laughing uproariously]
[Shuddering]
Ah, your sister's cunt!
Junior, it's the summer of love.
["Somethin' stupid" by frank and Nancy Sinatra playing on radio]
Nice car.
You a friend of Dickie's?
No English.
[Dickie] Oh! Hopalong che si dice!
It's fucking light again?
Picked up from most of the runners, but this kid, overall...
Who the fuck is overall?
He's a crazy young motherfucker that runs the saints.
Leon overall. He's from east orange.
My cousin's the placekicker over at the high school over there.
Yeah, well me and Harold played east orange Thanksgiving game.
We used to beat 'em every fucking year.
You should have seen this man run. Are you sure you don't got no black blood?
That's sicilians. I'm napoletano.
Oh! I'm siciliano.
Come on. Come over here.
The big picture, you told me this thing was over with the black saints.
I know, I... thought I schooled the kid, overall, when I whupped him, but...
[Scoffs]
He's got a wild hair across his ass.
I gotta know, Harold...
Aren't you humiliated by what you just said?
I know I would be.
You're a grown man.
Fucking punk street gang?
["Fingertips, part 2" by Stevie wonder playing]
[Horn blaring]
Come on in, son. Have a seat.
[Song continues on radio]
[Man] I think we lost him.
[Harold] Hold up. Hold up. Turn around.
Would I for sure be going to Vietnam? Like my dream?
You heard about the gi. Bill?
Yeah, college. Sure.
Thinking about being a... scientist.
[Recruiting officer] Wait over there.
No, this... this war wasn't my idea!
[Tires squealing]
[Ice clinking in glass]
Isola, turn that light out. I'm trying to sleep.
That's why I brought you a seven and seven, baby.
What's the matter with you?
Goddamn gentleman Dickie moltisanti.
Always comes to me to handle his nasty work.
[Chuckles] Done made you his house nigger.
Put it away.
The army won't take me now.
I always wanted to join up, but I...
I had two felony convictions.
Take you?
Happened to stop by a recruiting office today,
and it made me remember.
[Chuckles] Brothers doing all the dying over there.
We don't need no more.
Well, somebody's gonna win the medal of honor.
[Chuckles]
Not a black man. Please.
[Laughs] Ooh, baby, you are a riot tonight.
[Rider] Make a right here.
- It's a one-way. - Fuck it, make the right.
[Sighing]
["Come on over" by Steve Clayton playing faintly on radio]
[Siren approaching]
- [Car doors open] - Fuck.
[Sighs]
Step out of the car.
I know what I did, officer.
[John grunts]
["Then you can tell me goodbye" by the casinos playing on radio]
[People yelling faintly]
[People clamoring, shouting] —[Honking horn]
[Dickie] Oh!
[Yelling, indistinct]
Hey, why aren't they home, sleeping till noon?
Two of our officers picked up some colored taxi driver,
had to rough him up a little.
These morons think we killed him.
It spread around the central ward that way.
They broke windows up and down belmont Avenue.
They're throwing bricks and bottles at us.
We got two officers had to go to the hospital.
- [Glass breaking] - [Dickie] No shit. [Laughs]
[Protester] You ain't nothin' without that badge!
[Dickie chuckling]
You think this is funny?
[Singing] Let's make amends
[song continues on radio]
- [Bottle strikes car] - Lgasps]
[Bottle breaks]
Get the fuck away from the car!
[Glass shattering]
[People continue shouting, indistinct]
[Tires screeching]
[Both singing] How lucky can one guy be
I kissed her and she kissed me
like the fella once said
[music pauses]
[Drumroll]
[Singer] Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for our host tonight.
They call him gentleman dick moltisanti.
- [Applause, cheering] - [Music resumes]
[Hollywood dick] Ah!
Paulie.
This?
It's about time.
Pinto the butcher sent over some capuzzelle.
The fuck happen to you?
Something you gotta see.
[Sirens wailing in distance]
[Man] What the fuck?
That's belmont Avenue.
[Sirens continue]
[Sirens wail faintly]
[Speaking Italian]
You wanna get smart now?
Ma vaffanculo!
[Panting]
[Cries out]
[Panting]
[Sobbing]
[Sirens wailing]
Why don't you go after the ditsoon, huh? They almost burned the city down.
Oh, you'll hold the door, huh.
[Janice] Daddy!
-Janice, go home! —daddy!
Go home! Take the bus.
[Police officer] Hey, stop! Stop!
- [Gunshots] - [Yelling]
[Janice] Anthony!
Anthony! What are you doing here?
[Siren wails]
[Indistinct radio chatter]
My god!
What did they do?
- We raided a card game, but we got lucky. - [Janice crying]
Picked up your husband on an outstanding warrant.
- Had to take 'em somewhere. - Warrant? For what?
Assault with a deadly weapon.
The lobster trap restaurant? That wasn't him. He didn't do that.
- Where is he? - Downtown.
He's downtown, where he might get burned to death?
What are you people thinking?
Janice, shut up with that!
What were the two of you doing at that card game?
Dad took Janice to ride the rides while he played cards.
But he wouldn't take me because I passed gas while he was eating lunch.
Get inside, both of you!
Anthony!
[Sirens wailing]
["Your soul and mine" by Gil Scott-heron playing]
[Reciting] Standing in the ruins of another black man's life
or flying through the valley separating day and night
"I am death," cried the vulture
"for the people of the light”
[glass breaking]
[Overlapping shouts, chatter]
In a wilderness of heartbreak and a desert of despair
- [gunshots] - Evil's clarion of justice
shrieks a cry of naked terror
taking babies from their mommas
- [shrieking] - Leaving grief beyond compare
please help me! Help me! Please, help me!
So if you see the vulture coming flying circles in your mind
-[screaming] —remember there is no escaping
for he will follow close behind
only promise me a battle
battle for your soul and mine
and mine
[man on radio] Talk to young negro men on the street and they will tell you,
they say, they're supposed to go away
and die for this country that isn't really theirs?
This tells you right there that for understandable reasons,
they don't consider themselves complete Americans.
And I don't say this comprises all of them,
but it's obvious the reason they can burn their own homes...
[Dickie] Huge fire.
- [Giuseppina laughs weakly] - Ashes.
[Speaking Italian]
[Sniffles, crying softly]
[Flicking lighter]
[Sniffles]
Thought I heard somebody fall.
You fall, this morning?
[Speaking Italian]
You shouldn't wear your sunglasses in the tub, you know?
[Chuckles]
He's got a temper. Arrabbiato, my father.
[Speaking Italian]
He start to yell.
Yeah, he wasn't like this back in ariano?
'Cause he used to...
Me, as a kid.
Every day.
I should have stayed there.
[Speaking Italian]
Maybe I come to america for america money. But...
[Speaking Italian]
But here, in america, he become...
Uno stronzo!
I think maybe you still love him.
What's the matter with you?
My wife's right inside.
You're my father's wife.
_[sirens wailing] _[Glass shattering]
[People shouting, yelling]
[Grunts]
[Officers yelling]
[Glass shattering]
[Sirens continue faintly in distance]
[Engine starts]
[Puccini's "madama butterfly" playing on radio]
[Knocking on window]
[Exhales]
Where are you going?
I'm going down to rexall. The doc switched my blood thinner.
I'll ride with you.
What?
How high did she bounce?
- [Chuckles] What are you talking about? - When you threw her down the stairs.
[Laughs] Got two left feet.
'Cause you used to throw my mother down the stairs.
I didn't like it then, I don't like it now.
Well, some women like the rough stuff. Don't ask me why.
Yeah, it's funny how they're all attracted to Hollywood dick moltisanti.
You wanted to get into her fucking pants since the day I brought her over.
I give you permission to picture her while you're jerking off.
I promise you, you hurt her again,
- you're going down the stairs. - Who the fuck do you think
- you're fucking talking to? - You got away with it once with mom.
But I was a little kid. You're not getting away with it again.
Oh, I marry sluts. What do I know.
[Grunts]
Hey! Get... get you're fucking...
Get off me! Hey! Hey!
[Engine roars]
- —Dick——! - [Horn honking repetitively]
[Horn blaring]
[Yells, panting]
[Opera continues on radio]
Pop.
Pop?
[Sirens wailing in distance]
[Basketball bouncing]
[Basketball resumes bouncing]
[Bird flapping]
[Tony] Uncle Dickie.
Anthony, what the fuck are you doing?
- The city's burning down. - Over on Springfield Avenue.
Dickie? Who blew the horn?
I'm working on the car.
- You want pork chops tonight? - Yeah, that's fine.
[Tony] Can I watch you work on the car?
- With the applesauce? - I don't know what sauce!
I gotta go out for a while.
[Tony] Can I?
- Can you what? - Watch.
What the fuck did I just say, goddammit? Now, go home!
[Resumes bouncing the ball]
[Radio newscaster] From the wor news room.
American warplanes have expanded the air war over north Vietnam
with the bombing of five previously untouched targets
near the heart of the port city of haiphong.
Four of the new targets,
one of them only a mile and a half from haiphong...
[Tires screech]
[People yelling, chattering loudly]
Democratic majority leader Mike Mansfield
- sounded a warning tonight... - Go ahead, sir.
He's white.
[Sirens wailing in distance]
["San Francisco" by Scott McKenzie playing on radio]
Three guesses who they blame this on.
The Harlem globetrotters. [Chuckles]
[Quiet organ music playing]
They called him Hollywood dick. Imagine what he looks like now.
Tell ma what you told me, about the bird.
- There was a bird in the garage. - —so?
It means somebody's gonna die.
[Scoffing] You're talking through your hat.
A bird would never fly into a garage to announce a death.
A house is another matter.
Poor Dickie.
I still can't believe it.
I gotta talk to Johnny soprano, the putrescible trash routes.
The sposato brothers are making a grab.
You didn't hear? Johnny's gonna be a guest of the government.
He couldn't make bail.
When my brother's away, everything goes through me.
You got diarrhea?
- [Chuckling] - Comedian.
The three c's I owe you.
What the fuck is this? It's supposed to be cash.
That's an rca.
What am I gonna do with this?
What a blow.
Yeah, well at least you still got your brother. I'm... [voice breaks]
Yeah. I got nobody.
Dickie, consider me your brother from now on, huh?
Where's your brother?
He went to see if he could sneak into the room where they do the bodies.
[TV newscaster] In Newark tonight, state troopers and the national guard ceased...
- You son of a bitch. - You can't watch television in here.
Vincent, it's the news.
President Johnson, we've been told, has been following the situation...
Ah, they're never gonna catch those bastards. I told the cops.
[Commercial playing on TV]
[Man on TV] In the dull and commonplace occurrences of day-to-day living,
one thing stands out as a completely unique experience:
Colt 45.
[All yelling in shock]
Jesus Christ.
The fuck's the matter with you?
You have no respect for my father, you fucking animals!
He's dead!
[Man] Looks like the riots are ending though, dick, that's good news.
I wish that the shooter killed you!
All of you!
[Judge] John Francis soprano.
On the charge of assault with a deadly weapon,
I hereby sentence you
to no more than five and no less than two years
in rahway state prison.
[Gavelbangs]
[Sobbing loudly]
- [Sobbing continues] - [Handcuffs clicking]
[Exhales]
[Muttering, indistinct]
[Door lock buzzes]
Uncle Sally.
I'm Dickie, your brother dick's boy.
[Dickie sighs]
How are you?
You know, I'm sorry, I know I never came to visit you before.
My father wouldn't allow it.
I came to tell you...
Your brother, my dad... he passed.
They burned him up in the riots.
I brought you some sfogliatelle.
I don't eat dairy.
Well, you being out here isolated,
out of contact with the family, my old man said you deserved it,
but I want to do whatever I can to help you from now on.
It wasn't right how they treated you.
I was 25.
I murdered a made guy in our own family.
I'm here for a good reason. You don't need to help me.
[Sighs] But...
What do you want, Richard?
I'll be honest with you.
I want to do a good deed.
[Scoffs] A what?
A good deed.
Birth of the cool.
- —What? - It's a record.
I'm a jazz nut.
Bring me a copy next time you come.
If you come.
[Sniffs]
[Door lock buzzes]
[Door shuts]
-Quant'é Bella! —si'?
It's so beautiful.
We're gonna go down to bamberger's. We're gonna fill the place with furniture.
[Laughing] Madonna Mia.
[Dickie] Mm.
- Could you give us a few minutes? - You got it.
Aunt concetta says you've been looking for a job.
At, uh, dilorenzo brothers beauty parlor.
I cut hair back in ariano.
You don't need to do that. I want to keep taking care of you.
But I like to work, Dickie. And america has so many work.
UN giorno, I want to have my own beauty parlor.
Well, you're not gonna work for those two fanooks.
The dilorenzos?
[Doorbell rings]
Motherfucker.
- [Doorbell rings] - I like that word.
Motherfucker.
[Class bell ringing]
[Indistinct chatter]
- Eighteen. Paul's birthday. - We don't take beatle birthdays.
We'd go broke.
Fuck it. Make it eight. Micky dolenz.
I dreamed about whitey Ford last night.
- He wears number 16. - [Class bell rings]
[Man over pa] The boys basketball team is playing St. Stephen's this afternoon.
The high temperature today will be 53 degrees.
Faculty advisory, absentees: 16.
Sixteen, I hit the number!
You gotta talk to him.
- Johnny should do it. - You're the only one he listens to.
Johnny should do it. You're gonna see him visiting day.
- [Knock on window] - [Livia] Side door's open.
Johnny's just gonna want to hit him,
and he can't because of the glass partition
- and he's just gonna get frustrated. - [Junior whistling melody]
- Hey, jun'. - I got some lady schick blow dryers.
Livia, take one for yourself. One for Janice.
I got bigger problems than blow dryers. Anthony got kicked out of school.
Let me go talk to him.
I promised Johnny I'd take care of Tony while he was in jail.
The way you talk, you just confuse him. He only listens to Dickie.
Ah, va fa napoli.
Jun'. Leave me a blower for joanne.
What are you reading?
Oh, can't you read a regular comic?
You know, Superman, jughead.
It's about some Jewish girl and a knight. And Robin hood's in it.
I didn't know they had Jews back in the middle ages.
Well... the Bible.
Anyway, your mother asked me to talk to you, so...
What, about getting suspended from school?
Hey, put that down, huh?
Sorry.
[Exhales]
You know I don't like to lean on you about stuff.
But you can't start a gambling operation at school.
I know that... now.
Hey, don't bullshit me. You always knew it.
And it's not just the gambling. It's everything.
The cherry bombs at the ymca,
letting the air out of Mrs. Russo's tires...
I apologized to her!
You talk big about wanting to be on the football team in high school
and you're smoking already? Oh!
You gotta have a better attitude.
With you father gone, your mother's got a lot on her plate.
You gotta be good.
I don't want have to go through this again.
I try to be good.
I don't think so. Try harder.
-Pinky swear? —jesus.
Hey, you don't talk to me like that.
See, you're not listening.
Fine. Pinky swear.
All right.
One time I went to playland...
I saw the cops shoot a friend of my dad's right in the back.
Yeah, chickie sasso.
He still can't move his bowels like normal.
I don't want that to happen to me.
And it won't, gagootz. Not while I'm around.
We're gonna see that it don't.
[Guitar, drums finishing song]
[Applause]
Junior. Junior.
- Where's candy tonight? - Migraine.
Again with the migraine...
[Paulie] Keep a close eye on that one.
She keeps disappearing, she's probably fucking some Tom, dick and Harry.
Found a new gravy train.
[Guitarist] A guy checks into a hotel, calls up the front desk,
"I got a leak in the sink."
Clerk says, "go ahead. Customer's always right."
- [Drummer plays rimshot] - [Spectator groans]
Yeah, that was funnier when henny youngman told it. [Laughs]
No, no, don't... don't. Just leave it the way it is.
I wonder the origin of the sobriquet, "gravy train" is.
They named it after the dog food.
I don't know about you, junior.
Guy tells you your girlfriend's banging somebody else,
you're worried about the origin of "gravy train"?
[Pussy laughing] Oh!
Oh, smile, my brother.
[Dickie laughing]
[Band playing "baubles, bangles and beads"]
White flight.
Oh! It's hopalong che si dice.
- Whatever the fuck that means. - [Paulie] Hey!
Language. There's ladies here.
[Waiter] What can I get you?
Bartender's special tonight, for the ladies: Pink squirrel.
Courvoisier and coke. Water back.
[Scoffs] That what they drink on the plantation?
Oh, you didn't hear? We're off the plantation.
We got wops digging ditches since they come over.
Hey, come on.
It's Dickie's business. Let it go, Paulie.
What the fuck's the matter with you? You got a murder warrant over your head.
I'm heading down south. North Carolina.
So where's your mule? Get going.
Thing is, I need to borrow some money.
- How much? - A grand.
All right, I'll tell you what.
[Flipping paper bills]
I'm gonna give you five c's. Yeah?
It's my gift to you. You don't gotta give it back.
- I want to pay you back. - It's better this way.
You don't gotta be afraid to say hello to me,
I don't gotta chase you down.
Won't come between us.
So I guess this is goodbye.
You said your goodbye, so go.
You don't stare at those people. They don't like it.
[Chuckles]
[Dickie] Brought you that record you wanted.
Plus, a couple others I picked out.
What's this?
Al hirt. Trumpet. He's on Carson all the time.
It's not jazz.
Take it back. These, too.
So... you did your good deed.
Well, don't put it like that.
I plan to do a lot more.
Your poor father, huh?
He goes down to board up that atta boy business that he had...
And he dies in that horrible way.
- It's just weird, though. - What, weird?
My brother's hands were soft.
Like a baby's pishadeel.
Always with the manicures, your father.
Yeah, what's your point?
He never touched a hammer or a board in his life.
What's your problem?
Well, for one thing...
My wife, she can't get pregnant.
You know, it takes a toll. I want a son so bad.
What would you do?
It's the wanting.
- Huh? - —the Buddhist will tell you:
All life is pain.
Pain comes from always wanting things.
A son is not a thing.
It's the wanting.
["Sway" by the rolling stones playing]
You know, tone, we could still run that numbers game down at the fucking cyo.
I got fucking suspended, I can't get in fucking trouble again.
No. Fucking school will never know.
[Tony] I want to make it to the NFL someday.
For that, I gotta go to college.
So I gotta watch my fucking ass.
My old man told me I gotta run his fucking restaurant when I grow up.
What does your old man say?
[Tony] He says I gotta fucking Rob your old man's restaurant.
[Both laughing]
Do you know who I'd wanna be? Your uncle Dickie.
How he fucking dresses?
He said he'd give me $500 if I graduate from fucking high school.
Fuck, man.
[Entry bell chimes]
[Christopher] The sixties ended.
Neil young gave that speech from the moon.
Then came the rico statutes around when I was born.
I wish I had come before that.
Hey, uncle dick.
They're gonna be here soon. We gotta get inside and hide.
[Dickie] Hey, Anthony, you go see dirty Harry like I told you?
"You gotta ask yourself, do you feel lucky?"
[Dickie] "Well, do you, punk?"
[Neil diamond's "I am... I said" playing on car radio]
[Johnny] Marone.
It's that old fig tree, in 'lino's back yard.
- Nothing changes. - Yeah.
[Child laughing]
[Johnny] Nothing changes? That's... that's poupette's house.
- What are you mad at me for? - —you—...
Mother...
How did you let this happen?
Oh, what do you want from me, Johnny? I had plenty on my shoulders
taking care of things while you were in the joint.
- Yeah. - Raising Anthony.
The disaster with the electricians union.
- —Ah! - Your wife with the cramps.
Boo-hoo-hoo! Look at Dickie moltisanti.
His father gets whacked, he steps up.
Takes care of his family, takes care of all the business.
Not a peep out of him. He's younger than you.
[Johnny] Yeah.
- [Party horn blows] - [All] Surprise!
- —[Johnny] Jesus Christ. - [Guest] There he is.
All I want to do is bang my goomah, go to sleep.
- Hey. - Good to see you.
- [Johnny] Hey, Paulie, how's your ma, huh? - [Paulie] Much better.
- [Livia] Johnny. - Hey, baby, how are you? Come here.
[Laughs] Did the surprise work?
You know, I'll tell you what surprised me. You got shines on the block, huh?
Oh, look at you. Not a pound. He's just a regular charlton heston.
[Johnny] You come, you visit...
But you don't tell me they moved in. On my street.
- He's a doctor. - A doctor.
He's not operating on me.
You gotta berate me in front of everybody?
- Ah, Jesus. - You know, just like always.
- Ah, vanapoli. - Come on.
- [Janice] Hi, dad. - What do you got on?
Go upstairs, right now, put on some decent clothes.
Johnny, it's what they're wearing nowadays.
Go do what I said, Janice.
Sweetie. You recognize your daddy, pumpkin?
Yeah. That's it. [Chuckles]
Yeah.
What's the matter with you? Go give your father a proper hello.
- —Stunod! - [Johnny chuckles]
[Clears throat] Come here.
- I missed you, dad. - I missed you too, kid.
[Crying] You know, I made your favorite pizza gain.
Even though it's not easter.
I got everybody together. I dressed up.
And you spit on it all, on me!
I didn't invite the coloreds onto the block!
Here we go.
[Dickie] Livia, give him a break. He just did four years.
I did four years!
[Pot lid clattering]
I missed your baked ziti, baby.
I put extra veal bones in with the sausage.
How about you, chooch? You gonna be a linebacker, huh?
Coach says I'm gonna be starting.
He don't have the makings of a varsity athlete.
It was up to me, you wouldn't be playing at all,
but you went ahead and you forged my signature.
[Chuckles] Nah, relax. He's not gonna get hurt.
[Joanne] Here he is. Fresh from his nap.
- Joanne, joanne... - Yeah?
-He hasn't met Johnny. —aww...
- Wow. - Johnny...
This is our Christopher.
[Johnny laughing]
Hello, Christopher moltisanti.
It's your uncle Johnny. I'm back from england.
[Laughter]
- Go with your daddy. - [Dickie] Come here.
Oh! Bambolino!
Finally, huh? Corrado, right?
-Got myself a son. —hi.
I hear he's slow with the talking.
[Tony] Hi, Christopher, hello!
[Baby crying]
What's the matter? Don't cry. It's only me, your uncle Tony.
What's wrong. Cootchie-coo!
- —Oh. Oh! - Okay. All right. All right.
You know, every time you're near him he cries like this.
I didn't do anything.
[Baby stops crying]
[Joanne] What happened? It's okay.
Look at that.
I don't know what it is, it's like I scare him or something.
Some babies, when they come into the world,
know all kinds of things from the other side.
[Baby giggling]
[Group performing spoken word piece onstage]
Night descends as the sun's light ends
and black comes back, to blend again
-wake up, nigga -[Woman] yes!
-And with the death of the sun -wake up
-night and blackness become one -wake up
-blackness being you -wake up, nigga
peeping through the red the white, and the blue
dreaming of bars, black civilizations that once flourished and grew
-wake up, nigga -hey!
Wake up, niggas or y'all through!
- [Woman 2] He's, right. He's right. - [Scattered cheers]
Drowning in the puddles of the white man's spit
-wake up -as you pause for some drawers
-in the midst of shit -wake up
and ain't got nothing to save your funky-ass with
-wake up, nigga -you cool, fool
sipping on a menthol cigarette 'round midnight
-wake up -rapping about how
the big apple is outta sight
-wake up -when you ain't never had a bite
-wake up -who are you fooling? Me, you?
Wake up, niggas or we 're all through!
- [Cheering, applause] - [Woman 3] Yeah! Yeah!
- [Applause continues] - [People whistling]
[Man] That's some inspirational shit. Even the speeches.
This decides me.
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna start my own book.
- [Chuckles] You're gonna do what? - We're gonna start...
First black numbers bank in the central ward.
Nigga, you talking about facing down the motherfucking mafia.
Frank Lucas will be my backer.
He's got money up his ass from the skag.
- You know the dope king? - Down home.
Country boys.
This ain't greensboro, north cackalacky.
The Italians got soldiers over there.
Okay? That's what the call 'em.
What... what's the matter, you ain't no soldier?
- Never thought about myself that way, no. - Well, think about it.
[Edward g. Robinson, on TV] Right...
"He's got a gun, " you think, "and I haven't."
You figure it's the gun.
Well, listen, soldier.
Thousands of guys got guns, but there's only one Johnny Rocco!
[Lionel Barrymore, on TV] How do you account for it?
[Humphrey bogart, on TV] Well, he knows what he wants. Don't you, Rocco?
- Sure. - What's that?
Tell him, Rocco.
- Well, I want, uh... - He wants more.
- Don't you, Rocco? - Yeah, that's it. More.
That's right, I want more.
Here.
Why don't you buy you and your friends some of those, uh... McDonald's.
- The burgers? - Yeah.
[Janice scoffs]
[Bogart] Yes, and I had hopes once, but...
[Robinson] Hopes for what?
[Bogart] A world in which there's no place for Johnny Rocco.
Okay, soldier, you can make your hopes come true.
But you gotta die for it.
See where I'm aiming? Right at your belly.
Go ahead, shoot.
["There was a time" by James brown &the famous flames playing on radio]
Your turn, daddy.
All right.
[Car horn honking]
Hey, hopalong che si dice.
Oh, fuck.
[Turns off car]
[Dickie] How's it going, Harold?
Cyril, how's your ass?
How you doing, son?
[Dickie] I'm taking my nephew to the Yankees game.
- [Tony cracking up] - Is something funny back there?
Sorry, uncle dick.
- No, really, I'm sorry! - You fuckstick.
[Dickie] I heard your ass was back in Jersey.
You still got that warrant over your head?
Lead detective died. Nobody gives a shit.
Leon overall had been a white boy, it'd be a whole different story.
Hey, Harold, how 'bout you come around, talk to me over here.
[Men chattering, indistinct]
When are you gonna come back and work for me?
Got stuff of my own percolating.
While you're waiting for that Maxwell house to boil...
[Starts car]
Hey, how much he give you?
Like I'm a fucking Pullman Porter.
Man, it's a hundred dollars.
["Don't make me over" by dionne Warwick playing on radio]
[Giuseppina] I need to see the lease.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
Due per cento increase every year. Six and a half years still.
Right?
- —I like. - Yeah.
It's dionne wannick.
Comes from right over here in south orange.
- I love dionne Warwick. - Me, too.
I wonder where she gets her hair done.
Probably some fancy place in Beverly Hills.
I bet she pays a hundred dollars. Oof! Marone!
I should move to Beverly's hill.
Where'd you learn to do hair?
- I learned from Mia mamma. - Mm.
My... she had a chair in the front room.
Women would come, and I sweep up.
- And I watch. - Oh, how wonderful.
- But that's not the life I want for me. - Mm.
Over there, you get old so fast.
Ten children and a big, black dress.
- [Chuckles] - You know, over there,
I wanted to be a priest.
- You mean "nun." - No, no, priest.
Nuns have to do what they told.
The priest is the boss.
- Capo. - [Chuckles]
So you never tried the convent, huh?
Not for me.
I could not stand the silence.
- No male. - No, yeah.
You wind up doing push-ups in the asparagus garden.
- You know? - [Both laughing]
[Door opens]
[Laughter continues]
- What's so funny? - [Giuseppina] Nuns.
They weren't so funny when they were hitting me with a ruler.
First thing you gotta do is look at the lease.
Is that the lease?
We already look at the lease. It's good.
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna look it over.
["Anyone who had a heart" by dionne Warwick playing]
[Giuseppina] There's just one thing I want to make better.
- —Oh, yeah? - New sinks.
Those are disgust.
[Chuckles] We can do that, sure.
This is some fantastic salsicce.
[Speaks Italian]
I am worried about the fucking boiler, though.
Looked like shit.
- Inspector says it's fine. - Okay, okay.
But the thing about remodeling is you start with the sinks and then you go,
"we might as well do this other thing while we're at it."
-It spins out of control. —ah.
We don't want to be pouring good money after bad.
Can you stop eating for one minute?
[Speaks Italian]
No capisce, but I'm all fuckin' ears.
So we're not going to buy it for me, the beauty parlor?
All I'm saying, I don't want us walking into a stupid situation.
You think I'm stupid?
Oh, let me ask you, what are you, on the rag?
Every time I say something you don't like, you ask me if I'm...
[Speaks Italian]
First you tell me to find a store I can turn into beauty parlor.
I do that. You say it looks good.
Then you say, "no, let's buy a place already a beauty parlor."
I find this place. Now the boiler!
Sweetheart, why are we arguing about fucking plumbing?
I always want to do right by you!
You know, I love you!
[Speaking rapid Italian]
- You know I don't speak Italian! - Maybe you should learn!
- Oh, where you going? - To put on a robe.
I'm cold.
Better hurry up. Pot roast night.
Right. You know wednesdays I gotta go home.
And what are you getting so pissy about?
Why did I make the sausage?
To make me happy? Because I love it?
But it's not as good as joanne's fucking pot roast.
- Ah, you're digging at joanne again. - I hate her.
Of course you do. It's only natural.
Go home and eat. I don't want the beauty salon.
Ah, vafangool.
Motherfucker!
You think you know everything!
[Door opens, slams]
[Dogs barking in distance]
[Ice cream truck playing melody]
[Children chattering, indistinct]
[Yelps]
- Jackie, you drive stick? - Fuck no.
- —I do! - You drive.
- Grab his arm, hold him down. - [Man grunting]
Fucking punks!
[Transmission grinding]
[Boy] We're gonna get in so much fucking trouble!
- My father's gonna use the belt on me! - You little shit!
If anybody tells anybody about this, next time we use the belt.
["Living in the usa." By Steve Miller band playing]
[Children chattering and yelling]
Oh! Come here! Free ice cream!
Here, here.
[Kids clamoring]
Get more of it.
Here, here. Here you go.
Here you go. How 'bout this one? There you go, sweetheart.
That manicotti at vesuvio's is so rich.
How'd you hear about them throwing mister softee a beating?
[Livia] His cousin Tony blundetto told Janice.
[Johnny] I was down in the islands when he pulled that shit.
If I was home I'd have given him a schiaff he'd never forget.
What's he want to be when he gets older?
Thinks he's gonna be a football player.
He's good.
- I don't think he's pro material. - [Livia groans]
- What do you think, dick? - [Dickie] Probably not.
But who knows, he puts on a few pounds, four years of college ball...
He should go to work for my cousin frank in the patio furniture business.
Here we go with that tune.
So maybe he's not a ball player, but li, you don't wanna step on the kid's dream.
You always take his side.
Look, you give him the best advice you can,
you lead by example, he'll make the right decision.
- This kid's got what it takes. - [Johnny] That's what I'm saying.
We all do things like that when we're kids, right?
Beat up the mister softee man.
If my Christopher grew up to be like Tony, I'd be goddamn proud of him.
I told him the other day, I said,
"you play football for a career, it doesn't last long.
You wind up an old crippled man by the time you're 32."
Bobby piocosta, he's a junior, on Anthony's team.
He fractured his shoulder last week.
The mother was hysterical.
They had to take him to a specialist at St. barnabas.
You think the school's gonna pay for that?
That's some Christmas present, huh? Having your kid laid up.
He can't help outside, hang the decorations.
He can't help shovel the walk...
- [Loud gunshot] - [Screams]
[Johnny exhales forcefully]
Don't give me that look. Hm?
[Harold and giuseppina moaning]
[Both panting]
[Harold clears throat]
[Breathlessly] I thought it will be different.
What?
Make love with a black man.
Is it?
It's all about Italian men, huh?
There's stories about Dean Martin and rossano brazzi,
how they're great lovers.
If you feed them.
- [Laughing] Oh! - [Laughs]
Oh!
You gotta give Dickie his meatballs and his noodles.
I'm Dickie's comare.
Dickie and his friends, they like their women to stay at home.
Don't go out.
Wait on them, hand and feet.
I'd stack my bread if you were my girl.
You want to have your own beauty parlor? Knock yourself out. I'd even back it.
- You want your woman to work? - No, but I'd be real proud of her.
Owning a business.
My mama used to take in the washing.
I always respected her for that.
Dickie says colored men don't have no head for making money.
Well, that's what we're gonna find out.
["The revolution will not be televised" by Gil Scott-heron playing on car radio]
Four, two, seven.
Box it for me?
You know, another nurse hit the number last night.
Big time.
Damn. Who was it?
What do I know, it was up in the first ward.
It was, uh... it was St. Michaels.
Thatjinxes it for me.
See, the law of averages say you got the same chance of hitting
as any two random people.
Yeah, but two people at the same time don't have the same chance of winning.
That's the law of averages.
That's a fallacy, Ms. Johnson. It's all random.
You don't understand fate.
["Abc" by Jackson 5 playing on radio]
[Entry bell chimes]
What do you got for me, professor?
See you tomorrow.
Tomorrow there'll be a brother here for the pickup.
- No more whitey's cut. - [Car starts]
[Shifting into drive]
- What the fuck, man? - [Raps on window]
- [Engine roars] - [Tires squealing]
And this black guy, Harold mcbrayer, popped one of my guys.
He used to be a runner of mine.
We don't know who ordered it. We can't find mcbrayer.
So what do you want from me?
I was thinking maybe you could ask in here.
Nation of islam, talk to Alonzo Turner, see if any of them knows anything.
I don't talk to people in here.
I mostly read all day.
How you doing on your merit badges?
I'm coaching a beep baseball team.
A who?
It's baseball. For blind kids.
Get the fuck outta here.
No, for real.
[Beeping]
[Scattered applause]
[Man] Run, run, run, come on!
Shortstop, left!
Way to go, coach. Our boys looked sterling out there today.
[All chanting] Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?
Coach moltisanti! Coach moltisanti!
You're a Saint!
[Crowd cheering faintly]
[Crowd noise fades, then cuts out]
["The star-spangled banner" playing faintly on TV]
[Cyril snoring quietly]
[Car doors open, shut]
[Snoring stops]
[Grunts]
{gunshofl —[Cyril] oh, shit!
[Paulie] Gun!
[All grunting]
Where's Harold?
In your mother's fat Guinea ass.
- [Grunts] - [Silvio] You take that back!
Who put him up to it, Angelo salerno?
Anthony bello?
Chef boyardee.
[Grunting]
[Cans clattering]
Put him on the table!
[Silvio] Pussy, grab his legs.
[Loud whirring]
What are you gonna do, rotate my tires?
[Cyril straining]
[Panting]
Dick, I just got this jacket.
[Cyril grunts loudly]
[Paulie] Open!
- What about it? - [Muffled] Fuck you!
[Loud whirring]
[Cyril screaming]
Stop for a minute!
God damn it!
[Cyril moaning loudly] I don't fucking...
[Panting] Harold! Harold mcbrayer!
I asked you whose idea it was!
I told you! It was Harold! Nobody put him up to it!
- —[Sylvio] Oh... - [Cyril grunting]
[Yelling]
[Panting heavily]
[Sniffs]
[Dickie] The fucker acted on his own?
Come on. All right, Dickie.
- [Dog barks] - [Tony] Go get it.
[Christopher] That fall, Johnny moved to the suburbs, the black thing.
And he was seriously earning.
This move made Tony half a pussy, in my estimation.
[Woman] What made you think it was a good idea
to steal the answers to the geometry test?
I didn't study, and, uh, I needed to pass, so I could stay on the football team.
You know, you got Charlie nodzak in trouble, too,
when you paid him for the answers.
Well, he was the only kid I knew on the mimeo squad.
Well, Charlie was on the honor roll.
And you're missing the point.
You know stealing the test was wrong.
Yeah, I guess so.
But if you're gonna kick me out of school, I mean, you should just do it,
instead of us talking about it.
You talk a lot at home?
I don't know.
Well, your dad, for example, what does he talk to you about?
The lawn.
What about the lawn?
I don't know, he goes to yankee stadium and he comes home
and says our lawn looks crummy.
What about your mother? Is she someone who likes to talk a lot?
I guess so.
Well... what makes her happy?
Happy? My mother?
[Class bell ringing]
Let's go, Anthony.
I wonder if I could talk to you for a moment alone, Mrs. Soprano?
Well, it's gonna have to be fast, 'cause I'm parked at the hydrant.
[Mrs. Jarecki] On the basis of the Stanford-binet, he's high IQ,
- but you know that. - You can't prove it by me.
He's got a d-plus average.
Well, that's because he doesn't apply himself,
but he is smart.
There's a big difference between a smart person and a smart aleck.
I also administered the Briggs-Myers personality inventory just now,
and the results tell us, he's a leader.
- [Scoffing] - "Enthusiastic, insightful, playful."
Ah, you're talking through your hat.
[Sighs deeply]
He did tell me one thing I'd like to share with you.
But it's gotta be fast, because I'm still at the hydrant.
Do you remember a children's book called sutter's mill...
- No. - About the gold rush in California?
Yeah, maybe I do. Yeah?
He told me about a night your husband was... away.
And you got in the bed with Anthony and hugged him.
He said that?
No, his exact words were you "snuggled up close".
Yeah. Yeah, I remember that now.
You read to him from that book.
Long into the night, apparently. He remembered details.
He didn't know the word "ingot," and you explained it to him.
He said it was one of his best memories of his life.
[Footsteps approaching]
Is that a hotel Bible?
I forget where I got it.
Baby, cousin cyril is dead.
[Johnny laughing]
You're supposed to do an hour.
It's an hour on, ten minutes off.
[Dickie] All of a sudden youse two are only on 40 minutes and then disappear.
- We don't know where the fuck you are. - [Guitarist] We're off somewhere thinking,
"what more can we do for gentleman dick and Johnny?"
Don't get cute.
Where's giuseppina tonight?
Ah, the movies with her girlfriend.
I would eat her shit.
Oh!
- [Loud grunt] - [Johnny chuckles]
You don't talk about her that way. In fact, you don't talk about her at all.
Hey, take it easy!
I love her. I love her!
{gunshofl -[Johnny] get down!
- [Gunshots] - [Women screaming]
[Harold] Hey, asshole! —[Gunshots]
_[yelling indistinctly] _[Harold] Dickie!
[Johnny] Mother...!
[Harold growls]
[Women screaming nearby]
Come on, you fucker. Come here.
- You like that, huh? How 'bout that? - [Dickie] Come on, you motherfuckers.
{gunshofl -[Bullet ricochets]
Fuck!
- [Gunshots] - [Guitarist yells]
[Spent casing clatters]
[Whimpering]
No, no, no! Frankie, Frankie, Frankie!
Frankie!
You, mother...!
[Gun clicking empty]
Shit!
[Panting]
[Faint click, rattle]
[Breathing heavily]
[Faint footfall]
[Sirens approaching]
[Footsteps receding]
[Exhales]
Anthony, come eat!
There's my big boy.
Oh, cool, man, a hamburger.
I thought you'd like a change from a mortadella sandwich.
I made it special for you.
You look nice.
Aww...
Me and aunt Mary are going to the city to see no, no, nanette.
- What's that? - Broadway. A play.
Shoes are killing my bunions.
You should go see Dr. Cuomo.
[Sighs] We don't go to him anymore.
We don't?
- He said some very rude things to me. - Like what?
He wants me to take pills for my sleeping.
And... and other things.
[Scoffs] I'm not some lunatic.
No, but maybe some medicine would be good.
You and your father. Why don't you get in line to blame me.
I wasn't blaming you, I was just saying...
This new thing... called elavil.
For people who are sick in the head.
[Singing softly] Go runnin' for the shelter
of a mother's little helper
what?
It's a song.
- It's by the stones. - Exactly what I'm talking about.
They're drug addicts. I don't take drugs.
The song's not saying that you take drugs, it's...
[Sighing]
You smoking marijuana, I suppose?
- Mom, I'm on the team. - Your sister is.
I'm almost sure of it.
- This hamburger's great, mom. - [Scoffing loudly]
-It's really good. —go on.
I went to all that trouble
just so we could have a nice conversation for once, and for what?
How am I supposed to enjoy a Broadway show with my children and their pot?
Ma, I don't smoke pot!
Well, your sister comes in here smelling like a gypsy.
Well, I'm not my sister. I'm always being accused.
Oh! Poor you!
[Running up stairs]
[Door slams]
[Thunder rumbling]
[Man speaking Italian softly]
Don't look so blue, kid.
- You and me'll cut out, go play catch. - It's raining.
[Man, muttering] ...Sa benedica, gets put in the ground,
all they want to do is eat my food.
[Johnny chuckles]
It's not an Irish wake, right, no food.
You get carried to your car. Watch your step there, boss.
[Men chattering faintly]
- [Johnny] How you doing? - [Silvio] How you been?
[Continuing, indistinct]
[Junior] Eckley, how's the boy?
Wonder what they talk about in there?
[Thunder rumbling]
Uncle dick, can I talk to you for a minute?
What's up, Joe cocker?
All right, I'm gonna wait in the car.
You help her? Help her.
Well, spit it out.
You ever heard of this?
Yeah, so, what about it?
Well, my mom's been in a bad mood lately.
Lately? [Laughs]
The doctor said that this medicine could help her, but she won't take it.
So what do you want from me?
So I was thinking maybe you could talk to her.
What about your old man?
Nah, she's not speaking to him. He did something.
I see the way she looks at you.
Always sits next to you at dinners.
She bought you that fur hat for Christmas...
I never wear it.
I mean... she looks up to you.
And maybe you could get her some.
You need a prescription. I can't get it in my own name.
- I know you can get anything. - Don't be a wise ass.
I'm not, I'm just saying it could make her happy.
-Even Janice says. —janice.
There's somebody we all want to take advice from.
[Junior] Anthony!
The pros play in the rain. [Grunts loudly]
- [Johnny] Ah, what are you doing, jun'? - —uncle jun'!
[Laughing]
[Groaning in pain]
- —Oh, Madonna Mia! - Stay down.
- Don't move him! - Uncle jun'!
[Johnny] I just said don't move him!
[Yells] Your sister's cunt!
- Corrado! - I'm calling an ambulance. God damn it.
[Giggling] Here you go. Here you go.
- Take my hand. - Cocksucker!
[Laughing]
[Groaning]
[Dickie laughing]
["Bye bye blackbird" by Wayne Newton playing on radio]
[Slurping soda]
These are frank Sinatra, Jr. tickets for your uncle.
I gotta fly down to the dog track.
[Don Cornelius on TV] They boast a string of hits that seems to have no end,
out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the mighty delfonics.
[Applause on TV]
Hey, kid. How's your rash?
Uncle Dickie around?
[Toilet flushing]
Hey.
["Didn't I" by the delfonics playing faintly on TV]
Mezzanine? What the fuck.
- —What? - That medicine.
You nervous Nellie, I got stuff to do.
Hey, hey, come here.
I want to show you something.
[Tony] Holy shit. Jbls.
A pair of them are yours to take home.
Yeah, well, they're hot.
Eh, fell off a truck.
Far out, man.
Oh-oh!
[Dickie] Ten-inch woofers.
I want to go to college. I can't get caught with shit like this.
Okay, my friend hesh... Says only goys and children pay retail.
This isn't wholesale, it's totally on the arm.
Look...
You want to be a civilian, I appreciate that. I'm all for it.
But pay attention to me for once, okay?
You take the speakers, right?
At the same time, you promise yourself these speakers are it.
Now, you say to yourself,
"this is the last time I'm ever gonna steal something."
And you stick to it.
It's that simple.
[Pained grunting]
[Sighs, panting]
[Woman] Maybe I should get on top.
[Groaning painfully]
[Grunts]
[Groaning loudly]
Fucking Dickie moltisanti!
It's more than a month now!
For god's sake, corrado.
He didn't push you down the stairs, you slipped.
He got a good laugh out of it, though.
[Gasps in pain]
Any excuse not to fuck.
[Man] They don't vote the motherfucker out of the white house,
somebody gonna assassinate his lying ass.
Azalea, you got it!
Say, hey! There's my farm boy from the garden state.
- [Chuckles] - Where's my tomatoes?
Brought you collard Greens.
Ah, now you talkin'.
[Laughs]
Sit down.
Have a hot chocolate and baileys.
[Harold] So, we square? —[Woman] Ooh, Chanel.
[Slaps hand]
[Shaking box]
Small bills. You're doing good.
Soon I'll be in the stratosphere with you. Call me buzz aldrin.
Well, buzz, gonna hype you again. State lottery's coming.
Your woman's not gonna be wearing French footwear very long.
Now, with smack, you got white kids coming in
from long island, New Jersey, Westchester to the east village,
paying thirty bucks to stick their arm in a hole.
Invisible person on the other side finds a vein, shoots 'em up...
Should tell you something about the future.
You make a good point. We'll talk.
Thanks.
This week I gotta...
Gotta do something about this Guinea motherfucker or he'll do me.
- —Ah. Dimeo? - Nah, Dickie moltisanti.
Controls the numbers, whole rest of Newark.
You maybe need an assist on the play?
Why would you want to do that for me?
I got my own issues with the five families.
I appreciate it, frank, but...
Terms of the community.
I'd better do this myself.
[Frank] Darryl.
Merry Christmas, buzz.
[Horse whinnies]
["Astral weeks" by Van Morrison playing]
[Both panting]
[Both laughing]
I'm so hungry.
I got news.
That beauty parlor? I took it over.
- For me? - We'll be partners.
It'll be in my name, but you'll run it.
Exactly how you want it. I'll be hands off.
[Laughing]
Oh, Dickie! [Shrieks]
[Laughing]
Hey, what did the bartender say when the horse came in?
"Why the long face?"
- You told me that a million times. - Yeah, so?
Why the long face?
I'm all, uh... intronata.
You're mixed up? Well, what are you mixed up about?
So many things.
Ten minutes ago you were laughing like an idiot.
What did I do?
The beauty parlor.
The beaut...? I thought that's what you wanted.
More than anything.
But now we partners in business. It's like a marriage.
[Voice breaking] I'm alone. So much.
I get lonely.
[Crying softly]
Maybe you didn't love me anymore.
Hey, if I don't love you anymore, you won't mistake it for a maybe.
Someone else came along.
[Crying] I said yes.
Don't make me say.
What, you said, "yes, come fuck me?"
Is that what you're trying to say? What else, yes?
It didn't mean anything, Dickie.
- I love you! - How many times?
- I don't know. - You don't know?
So many times you can't remember? Who was he?
- I doesn't matter, it's over! - Who was he?
- I can't! - Tell me! Fucking tell me.
- Promise you won't hurt him! - I don't promise anything,
but you don't tell me, it's gonna be worse.
Harold.
[Panting shakily]
You fucked that murdering nigger?
But I don't love him, Dickie! I love you!
Please! Don't!
No, please! No! No!
- [Dickie grunting] - [Shrieking]
[Dickie yells]
[Giuseppina screams, panting]
[Gasps]
[Panting]
[Muffled screaming]
["Never in my life" by mountain playing]
[Song continues over loudspeakers]
[Faint Christmas music playing over P.A.]
[Uncle Sally] One thing I still miss at Christmas...
The seven fishes. My wife used to make it.
And tripe, too.
She could make those two things, out of this world.
You celebrate Christmas with your goomar, or you stick around home?
What makes you ask?
I just remember with my girlfriend, it was always a big argument.
She died.
80 young.
What happened?
- Pneumonia. - Pneumonia?
She had weak lungs, from growing up on the other side.
Fucked up doctors...
So much tragedy in your life.
Your father, your mistress...
I don't even have a picture of her.
You know, I... I try so hard.
What kind of god, huh?
I go to church when joanne wants,
I try to set an example for my nephew, I come see you...
I do all kinds of good things.
You know the Christmas song, "my favorite things"?
Yeah.
Maybe some of the things you choose to do...
Aren't god's favorite.
What are you trying to say?
What do I know? [Dry chuckle] I'm a murderer.
As far as your nephew goes...
May I make a brief suggestion
for a nice Christmas present you could give him?
I'm listening.
Stay out of his life.
It's damaged. And you're out of line with your prices.
["Marshmallow world" by Darlene love playing on radio]
[Line ringing]
- [Dickie, over phone] Who is this? - Hey, uncle dick, it's Tony.
How's it going?
There's a party tonight, and I was wondering
if we could get a couple cases of rolling rock?
- Uncle dick? - [Line clicks]
[Dial tone]
Uncle dick? Hello?
There's something wrong with his phone.
Your ass. Same as last time.
It doesn't have to be rolling rock.
- Does he know that? - It's not about the fucking name brand.
Carmela, you got a dime?
- [Joanne] Hello? - Hey, aunt Jo.
It's Tony. Can I speak to uncle dick?
- I haven't seen him today. - Yeah?
Well, how's Christopher?
You know, the colic?
For my money, you kids shouldn't be drinking at your age.
[Dickie] Give me the goddamn phone.
- [Line clicks] - [Dial tone]
Fuck.
Hey, Joe jerk-off.
[Jackie laughing]
What'd you say?
I said, hey, Joe jerk...
-Your sister's twat! —what?
[Both grunting]
[Carmela] Stop it!
Stop it!
What do you got for us?
It's what I told you, furniture. Ethan Allen.
Dinette sets and, uh, TV trays.
- TV trays? - [Pussy snickers]
I didn't argue.
Fucking truck's not gonna unload itself.
[Knocking on door]
["When will I be loved" by the everly brothers playing on radio]
- —[Silvio] I'll let him know. - [Knocking continues]
Hey, sil, I need to talk to my uncle Dickie.
- He's not here. - His car's here.
Battery's dead.
You know where he is?
Who am I, rand McNally?
Okay, well... merry Christmas, sil.
You too, kid.
Carmine spotted Harold, rockhaven motel, down on 46th.
Well, we'll do it tomorrow.
I'll pick you up at 10:00 at the pork store.
["You" by the aquatones playing on radio]
[Pounding on door resumes]
It's the kid again. I told him you're not here.
Turn the lights out.
But the guys, they're still unloading.
[Sighs deeply]
[Pounding continues]
[Pounding resumes]
[Sobbing quietly]
[Crying]
[Muttering] You know...
[Sobs quietly]
[Disant train horn blowing]
["May the circle remain unbroken" by the 13th floor elevators, on stereo]
[Tony grunts angrily]
[Music continues through one speaker]
The fuck are you doing?
[Tony crying] I don't want these!
[Music stops]
Oh!
- That was a gift! - [Dog whimpers]
You take 'em! I don't want any part of this!
None of it! I don't want any part of this!
Huh? What "this"?
What "this"?
[Silvio] Night, dick.
Dick...
The kid. I don't know what happened with you two.
But he worships you. He's got so much potential.
Anthony, with that loony toon of a mother,
Johnny, who's in line for a personality transplant...
What, I'm some kind of example?
What can I tell you? You're his best shot.
Ah, I sh—— I should never have let this happen.
- Get in close. - Dick, he misses you.
What?
Nothing.
Actually... that's it.
Nothing.
I'm not sure I follow.
-Yeah, well. —okay...
I know I shouldn't say this, but...
Anthony, he could end up somewhere.
Beyond this thing of ours, even.
Tell him holsten's, tomorrow.
- There you go. - Let me finish, for Christ's sake!
9:00 am. No later.
-This is good. —okay.
-It's all right, but it... —okay!
It's over, go home.
The fuck am I doing? This one's yours.
[Car idling]
{gunshofl -[casing hits pavement]
[Gunshofl
[footsteps retreating]
[Car door opens, shuts]
[Car drives off]
[Woman] Help! My god!
Mrs. Moltisanti!
[Phone ringing]
- Yeah? - [Man] It's done.
[Line clicks]
[Faint music playing on radio]
[Entry bell chimes]
["Whatever happened to Christmas?" By frank Sinatra playing]
[Pussy clears throat]
[Whispers] Jun'.
You know, they found a couple bottles of that elavil in his coat pocket.
[Livia groans]
I used to think Dickie was so strong.
It shows, you never know about people.
God, he was my favorite uncle.
Remember when he used to take us to the movies?
Ones mom wouldn't let us go to.
["Woke up this morning (detroit mix/chosen one mix)" By a3 playing]
[Christopher] That's the guy, my uncle Tony.
The guy I went to hell for.
[Lsola] Kevin... Quit bouncing that ball.
Go do something useful, man.
Morning.
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