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How did we end up here?
This place is horrible.
Smells like balls.
We don't belong in this shithole.
Hey, Sam.
- Dad. - Hi, hon.
What kind of... Shut up!
What kind of flowers did you say you wanted?
Alchemillas. Or something that smells nice, you know...
- Something soothing. Listen, I can't... - It all smells like fucking kimchi!
OK. Something that's, uh... that looks nice. You know. Anything but roses.
- I hate this job. - OK.
Riggan, everyone's set for 1-4.
They're ready for you.
Riggan, they're ready for you.
- Mr. Thomson. - Steve.
- It's Daniel. - OK.
- Oh, hey, buddy. How you doing? - Hey.
Pretty good. Good. Yeah, I'd be a lot better if I could get, uh...
Ralph to stop, you know, acting.
He's gonna be fine.
And he was yelling, "I love you, I love you, bitch!"
What do you do with a love like that?
How is that... That is not love and you know it.
Why do you insist on calling it love?
You can say what you want, but I know what it was.
What about you, Nick? Does that sound like love, to you?
Sorry I'm late. Uhh, sounds like love...
Look, I'm the wrong person to ask.
I only knew-heard the man's name mentioned in passing.
I wouldn't know. You'd have to know the particulars.
But, I think you're saying is, love is absolute.
Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about is...
The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try and kill people.
It was love, Mel. To Eddie, it was.
I don't care what anyone says.
He was ready to die for it.
Ask her what he did after she left him.
He shot himself in the mouth, but he screwed that up, too.
Poor Ed.
Poor Ed, my ass! The guy was... dangerous!
Well, how'd he screw it up, if he shot himself in the mouth?
He used to carry this .22. We lived like fugitives, then.
Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
Fugitives are... scared, you know?
Fugitives are on the run. So, you know, how many times can we get...
Can you give me more of that? You know, fear?
Yeah. Great idea.
We lived like fugitives then.
I never knew if he was gonna come out from behind a bush,
or-or a car, and just start shooting.
The man was crazy! He was capable of anything!
- Christ, what a nightmare. - Yeah!
He used call me up, at the hospital, and say:
"Son of a bitch, your days are numbered!"
It's too much? It's a little bit too much.
I can tell, because with you... I just want to give you a range.
Oh! Shit!
Someone call 911!
Oh, my God! Is he breathing?
- Is that blood coming out of his ear? - It's OK, he's still breathing.
Where are you going?
Well, did someone call 911?
- Do not move him! Wait for an ambulance! - Did someone call for help?
Well, that's gonna be a fucking lawsuit.
OK, where you going? The understudy'll be ready in less than 5 minutes.
Forget the understudy. We have to cancel the first preview.
But it's a full house! We would have to refund the entire...
Just do it. Just do it.
What happened?
- How's Ralph? - He'll be fine.
Wait, wait, wait. Will you fucking wait?
Listen to me, Jake, it was gonna be a disaster.
That guy's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life.
The blood coming out of his ear is the most honest thing he's done, so far.
He's not that bad!
OK, he's fucking terrible. But,
Listen. You have the press in your dressing room in a few hours.
I'll make something up. I don't know. I'll think of something. I'll riff.
Listen. Hold on.
That wasn't an accident.
What do you mean?
I made it happen.
Oh, OK.
Are you drunk?
Just find me an actor-a good actor. Gimme, uh... Woody Harrelson!
He's doing the next Hunger Games.
Um, uh, Michael Fassbender.
He's doing the prequel to the X-Men prequel.
- How about, um, uh, Jeremy Renner? - Who?
Jeremy Renner! He was nominated. The... he was the Hurt Locker guy.
He's an Avenger.
Fuck! They put him in a cape, too? God! I can't believe this! I don't care.
Just find me someone.
Ralph will sue us. He will sue us and he has a case.
Just make it go away.
Look, you're my attorney. You're my producer. You're my best friend. Right?
Now, go out there and do what you were born to do. I don't care how you do it, just go.
How do you suppose I do that? How...
When we come back, an exclusive interview with Robert Downey, Jr...
who's busy following up his billion-dollar Iron Man franchise...
with the equally successful Avengers series. He will take us behind the scene...
That clown doesn't have half your talent...
and he's making a fortune in that Tin Man get-up.
We were the real thing, Riggan.
We had it all.
We gave it away.
Breathing in.
We handed these poseurs the keys to the kingdom.
Breathing out.
You listening to me?
Breathing in, I embrace my anger.
Yeah, embrace it.
But I'm not going away. You know I'm right.
Look at that.
These people don't know what you're capable of.
Why would somebody go from playing
the lead in a comic book franchise...
to adapting Raymond Carver for the stage?
As you're probably aware, Barthes said:
"The cultural work done in the past by gods and epic sagas...
"is now being done by laundry detergent commercials...
"and comic strip characters."
This is a big leap you've taken.
Yeah, it is. Absolutely. Absolutely.
And, you know. Like you said...
that, uh, Barthes said, uh...
Birdman, like Icarus...
OK, w-w-w-w-wait. Hang on. Who is this Barthes guy?
Which Birdman was he in?
Uh, Roland Barthes was a French philosopher,
and if you knew anything about the history of...
Now is it true you've been injecting yourself with semen from baby pigs?
- I'm sorry, what? - As a method of facial rejuvenation?
Where did you read that?
It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.
No. That's not true.
I know, but did you do it?
No, I didn't do it. I just... I just said, it isn't true.
OK, I'll write you're denying it.
No! Don't write anything. Why would you write anything? I didn't-I didn't do...
Don't write what she said. I didn't do it. I didn't put any baby pig sem...
Are you at all afraid that, uh, people will say you're doing this play...
to battle the impression that you're a washed-up superhero?
No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's why...
twenty years ago, I said no to Birdman 4. That's why...
Birdman 4'? You do Birdman 4?!
Thank you for coming out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We're expecting some great pieces.
The guys in publicity...
now, want a Times feature,
which is the worst idea right now.
What are you doing?
I don't wanna look at this anymore.
That-that was a present from the crew.
Don't-don't fuck with those guys, they're union.
I don't care.
- How'd it go? - Good.
They talk about Ralph, at all? He did it, you know.
The motherfucker did it.
Threatened to sue us. Didn't even wait to get out of the hospital.
- What'd YOU Say? - What'd I say?
I said, "You motherfucker, are you threatening me?
"I swear to God, if I so much as get a letter from a lawyer...
"then the press is gonna get the pictures off your computer." That's what I said.
What pictures?
He has a thing for nuns... in diapers.
Why do you care? You shouldn't have any knowledge of that, anyway. Point is, is I made it go away.
That's right. That's great.
- Yeah, it is fantastic, except for one thing. - What?
- We don't have an actor. - Uh-huh.
And if we cancel the first preview, the press is gonna smell blood.
And we can't afford to lose any more money. At all.
OK. What do you think I should do?
Well, we hired an understudy.
- Let's use the understudy. - No.
Riggan, listen to me. Please, for the love of God, listen.
Our perfect dream actor is not gonna knock on that door and go,
"Hey, fellas, when do I start?“ You know?
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah. What's up'?
- Did you find another actor? - No.
OK, well...
- Mike's available. - He is?
Mike who?
- I thought he was doing the thing... - He was...
He quit. Or got fired.
Mike who?
- Which is it, quit or fired? - Well, with Mike, it's usually both.
- Mike fucking who? - Shiner.
- Yes! - Jake.
Oh, my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?
We share a vagina.
- You think he'd wanna do it'? - Mm-hm.
- How do you know? - 'Cause he told me he'd wanna do it.
- Jake. Jake. - Yes.
Ask me if he sells tickets.
Fine. Does he sell tickets?
He sells a shitload of tickets. Now, ask me if the theater critics love him.
Do theater critics love him?
- They want to spooge on him. - Hey!
- Lesley. - Right on his face.
Everything for a reason, right?
You think he'd come in this evening?
I'll call him and find out.
I'll call his agent.
Amazing, amazing.
Annie? Clear the theater, send everyone to dinner
and give me some lights!
We got a put-in tonight.
Who is it?
You'll find out.
Intimidating, isn't it?
You have any idea the people who have
walked on these boards... before you?
Geraldine Page. Helen Hayes.
Jason Robards. Marlon Brando. And now Riggan Thomson.
Hey, thanks for coming in on such short notice, Mike. I really appreciate it.
This is what I do.
You-you-you wrote this adaptation?
- I did, yeah. - Ah.
And you're directing and starring, in your adaptation. That's ambitious.
Well, thanks.
Well, it's a good theater.
I can't speak for your play, but... let's, uh... let's do a little bit of it. Yeah?
Oh, I didn't expect you to come in and, you know, just jump right in.
It's first preview tomorrow night, man. Let's-let's get to work.
OK. Well, you know, look... you know, feel free to take the script up until you feel comfortable.
No, no, no, let's just-let's just do-do some of it.
Aaaalright! OK, uh...
Hey, take a look at page 20.
- I-I'm good. I don't need that. - What?
I don't need the script. Just give me a cue.
What are you talking about?
- Feed me a line. - Whaa... h-h-how are you gonna...
Feed me a line.
OK! Alright.
OK, uh... let me think. Uh... yeah... uh...
Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask, OK. I didn't actually know the man.
- I only heard his name mentioned in passing. - Mmm-hmm.
I don't know. You'd have to know the particulars.
But I think what you're saying is love is absolute.
Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying love is absolute?
Yes. OK, yeah! The kind of love
I'm talking about is absolute.
The kind of love that I'm talking about, you don't try to kill people!
How do you know the lines?
- It's a thing I have. I don't know, it's a gift. - Wow. OK, so, that's, uh...
Oh, come on, man. I've been-I've been helping Lesley get off book for, like, a month.
- Oh, right! Right. Right, right, right. - These lines are right here. That makes sense.
- That's good. Give me my cue again. - OK.
Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't actually know the man.
I've heard his name mentioned in passing. But, yeah, I didn't know...
You never know the particulars. I think what you're saying...
- C-can I make a suggestion? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
- Do you mind? - No, no, no, not at all.
No, no, forget-forget that. Just... stay with me.
"I'm the wrong person to ask," he says, but what-what is that? What's the intention in that?
Is he fed up with the subject, so he's changing it?
Is he deflecting guilt over the marriage?
And here's the thing, you've got four lines after that
that all say the same thing. "I didn't even know the man."
"I only heard his name mentioned in passing."
"I wouldn't Know."
"You'd have to know the particulars."
And the "Particulars," I mean, it sounds like my grandmother. But, but,
the point is, you don't know the guy. We fucking get it.
Make it work with one line.
"I didn't even know the man." Right?
Wait... I-I-I... You know my lines, too, huh?
- Can-can we not get hung up on knowing lines? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we just work on this? Tear it apart?
So-so, why don't you just give me that same thing again,
- but cut it down. Try it. - OK. Uh...
Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask.
Oh, no! But that's the thing, see? "I'm the wrong person to ask." What is it?
I think it's, "Fuck you."
"Fuck you. Don't-don't put me on the spot, man."
"Don't-don't make me feel self-conscious about my marriage
"while my life-my wife is sitting...“
- Right there. - "right there."
- Can I sit down for this? - Yeah, sit, sit. Good idea. Yeah.
So just give it to me as a "Fuck you." Try it. Lay it on me.
Just do it. Come on. Give it to me.
- Well, I'm thinking. - Fuck me hard. Just give it.
Come on! Don't talk about it! Just do it!
Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask, alright?!
I don't even know the guy, OK? What's your point?!
- What's my point? - Yeah, what's your point? What are you saying?
- Spit it out! - Oh! Oh!
You're saying what? What're you saying? You're saying love is absolute.
Yes! Yes!
The kind of love that I'm talking about, it is absolute!
The kind of love that I'm talking about,
you don't...
you don't try to kill people.
Yeah. Good.
- I don't know, what do you think, boss? - Wow. OK.
You wanna do this with me?
What do you think?
Everybody's back. Larry needs to see him for a fitting.
I'll take that as a yes.
So, who are you?
- That's Sam, my daughter. - Oh.
Your daughter! Wow! That's amazing. You don't look anything like each other.
What do you do?
- Um... - She's my assistant. Works with me.
And does she talk, uh... and speak?
She does. Yeah.
She can even sit or stay or roll over, if you have any treats.
Hey, welcome aboard, Mike!
Thank you, Captain.
Um, I'm Mike... Shiner, by the way.
Oh, I know who you are.
I, uh, I saw you in Hothouse, at the Geffen.
You were great.
Oh, thank you. Your ass is great.
Dude. Seriously?
You see..that was just me...
Larry? Larry?
This is the theater, sweetheart.
Don't be so self-conscious.
He's here.
OK. Thank the Lord and pass the biscuits.
I finally have an actor to dress.
How have you been, Larry?
Better now that you're here. Take off your clothes.
You're just gonna stand there?
This is the theater, honey. Don't be so self-conscious.
We have to start from scratch with less than 24 hours.
Here. Try these.
Holy sh...! What's happeneing? Where are your underpants?
Under the bed, at home, I think.
OK. Uh...
No. OK, OK. Everything's too small.
- You're not kidding. - Oh.
Whoa. That's nice.
Forgive him, Larry. Mike's like my 5-year-old son.
Neither of them has clean underwear.
Or pubic hair, I imagine. OK...
I can alter the suit.
But we're going to have to make new trousers and shirts.
And underwear.
- What are you doing? - Waiting on Larry.
I'm finished!
Then I'm just standing with my cock out.
Well, get dressed.
Riggan's daughter's hanging around and I don't need her to walk in here.
- Lesley. - No, Mike. You haven't seen her.
She's always around, watching everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.
I don't know if it's the drugs that fried her brain or what...
but I just don't want her running to her father
saying you showed her your junk.
Then we should ask her to leave.
- Oh, God. Really? - Mmm-hmm.
- Sammy? - It's Sam.
Sam. Lesley.
Listen, um, when I said that I...
Oh, don't worry about it. He's a handful, huh?
How is it that you always manage to find a new way to humiliate me?
Oh, to be fair, you make it really easy.
What the hell was she doing here?
- She brought me down. - And stayed?
- Well, she is a little... something. - Listen, Mike.
This is Broadway. And I'm here, finally.
Now, please, do me a favor, I'm begging you.
Don't fuck it up!
Lesley.
Come here. Come here.
Play with my balls.
Don't do it. Ow!
Just sign it.
- Listen. - No, you listen to me!
I can't afford to listen to you.
I'm gonna have to go shopping again.
Just sew something, you old fuck!
Give him whatever he wants!
He just asked for four times what we were paying what's-his-name!
Go into the reserve, Jake.
The reserve is gone! We spent it on fog and those fake trees...
It's a dream sequence, Jake.
and goddam midgets!
Hey, don't say... You're not allowed to say "midget" anymore.
The reserve is gone!
You didn't see what I just saw.
I'm telling you, this guy's the real deal.
I can feel it in my bones.
He's the actor we've been waiting for.
Come on. Just get the contract done.
Please, Jake. I'll get the money.
- OK, I'll do it. - OK.
Get that smile off your face. You're freaking me out.
Sorry. You're right.
Hey!
Is it true? Shiner?
Holy shit. When can I meet him?
He's in a fitting, with Larry, right now.
Hey, guys. I'm going to Starbucks. You want anything?
I'm good. I'm good.
She has a great ass. Hey, I have some news for you, too.
Is it good or is it bad? 'Cause I right now, I really...
I missed my last two periods.
I think it's really happening.
Wow.
Is that good or bad? Riggan!
It's good. It's good. It's great.
- Well, say something else. - Um... OK.
Uh...
You sure it's mine?
Well, you know, there's you,
there's Jake, you know, that masseur wore a condom... so,
yeah, I'm pretty sure it's yours, yeah.
Idiot.
- Are you excited? - Yeah.
Me, too.
What?
You're not funny!
What? Hey, what?
First preview tomorrow.
Here we go.
I rode with him, in the ambulance, to the hospital.
I will never get that image out of my head.
Right before he did it, those eyes were so sad and-and lonely.
Did you have to treat him?
I didn't have to, but I did.
Music out. Cue 34, 35 ready.
He was in terrible shape.
His head had swelled up. It was twice the size of a normal head.
- He's good, huh? - He's incredible.
I think he's drinking real gin.
What?
Ask-ask Nick. I-I want you to ask Nick if he thinks that that's love.
Oh, honey, can't we just go to dinner?
Mel, don't get him started.
You don't know how he's been lately.
He's been depressed. I've been worried about him.
You've been what?
Let me tell you... let me tell you guys something about real love. I'll tell you something.
We all should be ashamed
when we talk like we know what we're talking about...
when we talk about love.
Oh, for God's sake, are you getting drunk?
I don't have to be drunk to say what I think.
- Nobody's drunk. We're just having a few drinks. - Exactly.
You've had more than a few.
What are you, counting?
Leave her alone. If you're not drunk, don't talk like you're drunk.
Shut up!
Do me a favor. For once in your life,
honest to God, shut up for a minute.
Anyway, like I was saying...
you want to know about real love, there's this old couple...
had a car wreck, out on the interstate.
Some drunk kid... plowed his old man's pickup...
right into their camper.
By the time I got down to the hospital, this kid,
this fucking teenager, was dead.
So we took the old couple up to the OR.
We worked like hell on them through most of the night.
By the time... we were done with them, we just, you know...
wrapped them... in their full body casts.
The husband, the old man...
was depressed for the longest time.
Even after said to him.
"Look, your wife's gonna pull through“, he was still depressed.
So, I went up to the mouth hole and I asked him.
And he told me it was because he couldn't... see her...
through the eyes. Couldn't see his wife.
Can you imagine?
I'm telling you, this guy's heart was breaking because...
he couldn't turn his goddamn head
and just look at his goddamn wife.
Shit!
I mean, it was killing this guy.
I-I am so tired of this. Is this water'?
It was killing the guy.
Did you replace my gin with water, man?
Oh!
Mike, come on.
- "Come on," what? - Come on. You're drunk.
I'm drunk? Yes, I'm drunk. I'm supposed to be drunk! Why aren't you drunk?
This is Carver!
He left a piece of his liver on the table each time he wrote a fucking page!
If I need to be drinking gin, who the fuck are you to touch my gin, man?
You fucked with the period,
you fucked with the plot so you'd get the best lines.
You leave me the fucking tools that I need!
Oh, come on, people, don't be so pathetic.
Stop looking the world through your cell phone screen!
Have a real experience!
Does anybody give a shit about truth other than me?
I mean, this set is fake, the bananas are fake.
There's fucking nothing in this milk carton!
Your performance is fake.
The only thing that's real on this stage is this chicken.
So, I'm gonna work with the chicken.
That was interesting.
- Bring the curtain down. - Hey!
That's good bird, man!
Get him out of here!
How do you want me to do that?
Hey, hey, wait.
- I want him gone. - No!
- What? - We cannot do that!
Of course we can do that! It's our show!
- Listen to me, please. - No, you listen to me.
Get him the fuck out of my play. I'm not gonna stand up there...
It was a preview! Nobody gives a shit about a preview!
Nothing matters until that old bat from
the New York Times is sitting out in that audience opening night!
We're getting rid of him. I don't give a shit.
Shut up! Shut up and listen to me for once!
As soon as we announced he was taking over, the advance doubled, and that took less than a day.
We can't afford to lose the preview. We can't afford to lose any more money
and we can't afford to lose Mike.
This has been about-This is about being respected and validated, remember?
That's what you told me!
That's how you got me into this shit!
Now, you're the director. Get him under control, OK?
Fuck.
This isn't the '90s anymore.
Your zipper's down.
Fuck.
Hey!
You were really good, cabron.
Mmm-hmm.
Hey! Out in front of the theater in ten minutes!
Don't overthink it.
What the hell was going on up there?
I didn't know you were here tonight.
That guy's an asshole, huh?
Yeah. What're you-what're you doing here?
Sam and I are going to grab a bite after she's finished.
No, no, I mean here. Now,
Well, I know how much this means to you.
Oh.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
So, whats happening?
With the play? You saw what's ha...
No, no. You and Sam.
Oh, it's, you know, it's great.
It's the same.
Do you talk to her?
Yeah, we talk.
You know, it's just been so crazy around here, you know?
You understand where her head is at
- these days. - Yeah, of course.
She's trying to stay away from everything, and everyone,
- that got her into rehab, in the first place. - Yeah, yeah.
I know. I really do. I get it. I get it.
That's all she's had, so she's confused.
Yeah, I get it.
Look, I know you're caught up in all this stuff, but you just have to...
- "Stuff"? - Uh, uh...
You Know what I mean.
Riggan, you don't have to be a great father right now.
You just have to be one.
Oh, sorry.
How's that going?
I'd rather not talk about it.
You're drinking?
Yeah, I'm having a beer.
So...
what's going on with you?
Me? Oh...
Nothing.
Everything's the same, I guess.
I'm going back to teaching.
Oh, yeah?
I'm thinking of refinancing the Malibu house.
What? I'm sorry.
I'm thinking of refinancing...
No, I heard you. I just need a second.
That's gonna be Sam's house.
Why would you...? For this play?
I need the money.
Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?
What do you want me to say? My health lasted longer than the money.
Go figure that out.
What's going on?
Riggan, look at me.
Uh...
I got a chance to do something right.
I gotta take it. I got to.
It's funny. I was sitting here, waiting for you...
and all of a sudden, I couldn't remember why we broke up.
You know, the last time I flew here from LA...
George Clooney was sitting, like, two seats in front of me...
with a nice pair of cufflinks and that fucking chin.
We ended up flying through this really, really horrible storm.
I mean, the plane was, like, rattling and shaking.
And, uh, all the people on board are, you know, crying.
I mean, crying. Praying, right?
I just sat there.
They're crying, I sit there.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, boy...
"next morning, when Sam looks at the paper...
"it's going to be Clooney's face on the front page, not mine."
You know? Boom.
Did you know Farrah Fawcett died
the exact same day as Michael Jackson?
Is that crazy?
Why did we break up?
Because you threw a kitchen knife at me...
and an hour later, you were telling me how much you loved me.
Riggan, just because I didn't like that ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie Hawn...
did not mean I did not love you.
That's what you always do.
You confuse love for admiration.
It's your house, you do what you want with it.
You just make sure you're there for our daughter.
I will.
You're not Farrah Fawcett, Riggan.
We should have done that reality show they offered us... The Thomsons.
Shut up.
- That would've been good. - Shut up!
Crazy, druggy, wise-ass daughter, MILF-y wife with the perky tits.
People would've wanted to see that.
- Shut up. - More than I can say for this piece of shit.
Shut up!
The sun bed is here.
What does that mean?
It means there's a sun bed out there being delivered to in here.
Who ordered a sun bed?
Mike. He said it's for his character...
- part of his process and that shit. - Fuck.
He said he has to be a redneck.
Son of a bitch.
Let's go. Walk.
- Where are we going? - To get you some coffee.
- Did I do something to disrespect you? - Not yet.
- I have a lot riding on this play. - Oh, is that right?
Yeah. People know who I am, and...
Bullshit. They-they don't know you, your work, man.
They know the guy from the bird suit
who goes and tells coy, slightly vomitous stories, on Letterman.
Well, I'm sorry if I'm popular, Mike.
Popular? I don't give a shit. Popular?!
Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige, my friend.
OK, I don't even know what the fuck that means, so...
It-it-it means-it means, my reputation is riding on this, and that's worth a, a...
- A lot. - A lot, exactly! Fuck you. Yes!
If this doesn't work out for you,
you fuck off back to your studio pals...
and dive back into that cultural genocide you guys are perpetrating.
You know, a douchebag's born every minute!
That was P.T. Barnum's premise when he invented the circus...
and nothing much has changed. And you guys know if you crank out any toxic piece crap...
people will line up and pay to see it!
But long after you're gone, I'm gonna be on that stage...
earning my living, baring my soul,
wrestling with complex humna emotions, 'cause that's what we do.
Oh, so that-is that what tonight was about?
You wrestling with complex emotion?
Tonight was about seeing if it's even alive, seeing if it can bleed.
This isn't a backlot, Riggan, this is New York City. This is how we do things.
Where you going?
They have coffee here.
Thanks, Tommy.
They were laughing in our fucking faces.
Tonight they were laughing, tomorrow they'll be tweeting.
Fuck'em! Who cares?
These are the people who pay half price
to watch us rehearse. Stop fucking caring.
This play's a drama. We're doing Raymond Carver. This play's about...
- You don't know what this play is about. - I do know what this play is about.
- No, you don't. That's what previews are for. - Oh, man.
That's why they call them previews.
That's where you figure out what the play is. I mean...
OK, look, look. Listen to me.
Do you see the woman, at the far end of the bar?
The one who looks like she licked a homeless man's ass?
Yeah.
The only thing that matters is what she writes about us in 500 words in the Times.
- That's, uh... - Tabitha Dickinson, yes.
And, believe it or not, the only opinion that matters in New York theater, is hers.
If she likes us, we run. If she doesn't, we're fucked.
She does look like she licked a homeless guy's ass.
Do me a favor.
Don't get your panties in a twist over a fucking preview, like some rookie...
and don't tell me how to do my job.
This is my town, and to be honest,
most people don't give a shit about you here.
- You're Riggan Thomson, right? - Sorry to interrupt you.
- Would you mind having a picture with us here? - No, no. Not at all.
Would you mind?
The button's on the bottom.
- Who is this guy? - He used to be Birdman.
Oh, you're such a doll. Thank you. You're so sweet.
- Handsome. - Thanks. Oh.
O-OK, sweetheart, come on.
Are we good here?
I'm gonna go home.
All right. See you tomorrow.
Oh...
I want to know something.
Why Raymond Carver?
I was a kid, in high school...
doing a play in Syracuse, and he was in the audience.
And he, uh, sent this back, afterwards.
A little note.
"Thank you for an honest performance. Ray Carver."
Yeah.
Yeah?
That's when I knew... I was gonna be an actor.
Right there.
Oh.
What's so funny?
Nothing. It's just, it's on a cocktail napkin.
Yeah? So?
He was fucking drunk, man.
You headed to Hollywood, Mike?
No.
No. Hollywood's heading here, Tabby.
Good luck with that.
"A man becomes a critic
"when he cannot be an artist...
"the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier."
That's Flaubert, right?
He's a Hollywood clown in a Lycra bird suit.
Yes, he is.
But tomorrow night at 8:00...
he's going out on that stage and risking everything.
What'll you be doing?
Don't you ever worry that I'll give you a bad review?
I'm sure you will...
if I ever give you a bad performance.
Miss Dickinson.
Mr. Shiner.
- Hey. - Hey.
What are you still doing here?
Nothing.
Nothing. Um, your costumes are hanging in your dressing room.
Oh, great. Great.
Oh, I got that coconut water that you wanted. Um...
If you want the face stuff, it's not open till tomorrow.
What?
Uh...
I'm not sure that I said thank you.
For what?
For everything. I mean, you've been doing a really good job, and, you know, honestly.
I've been so preoccupied with all the...
OK, well, I... just wanted to say that.
- What is that? - What?
That smell.
What is it? Look at me. Look at me!
What? What?
God damn it. You've got to be shitting me. Where is it?
Can we not do this, please?
Dad?
Where is it? I can't believe this.
Wh-what is this?
Chunky peanut butter.
- This. This. What is that? - Ah.
That's pot. Relax.
- "Relax." You can't do this to me. - To you?
Oh, shut up. You know what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah, you're talking about you! What else is new?
- Don't do that thing where you... - ...I make it about me!
Look! I'm trying to do something important!
This is not important!
It's important to me!
OK? Maybe not to you, or your cynical friends
whose only ambition is to “go viral"...
but to me... This is... My God, this is my career!
It's my chance to finally do work that means something.
That means something to who?
You had a career, Dad, before the third comic book movie.
Before people started to forget who was inside that bird costume.
You are doing a play based on a book written 60 years ago...
for a thousand rich old white people...
whose only real concern is gonna be where they go, to have their cake and coffee, when it's over!
Nobody gives a shit, but you!
And, let's face it, Dad...
you are not doing this for the sake of art,
you're doing this because you want to feel relevant again.
Well, guess what? There is an entire world out there, where people
who fight to be relevant every single day!
And you act like it doesn't exist.
Things are happening in a place that you ignore...
a place that, by the way, has already forgotten about you!
I mean, who the fuck are you?!
You hate bloggers, you mock Twitter.
You don't even have a Facebook page!
You're the one who doesn't exist!
You're doing this because you're scared to death,
like the rest of us, that you don't matter.
And you know what? You're right! You don't!
It's not important, OK? You're not important. Get used to it!
Dad.
In the days before Nick's depression started to eat away at him...
he never knew I was pregnant,
and I never intended to tell him.
I guess we make choices in life,
and we choose to live with them.
Or not.
I didn't want that baby.
Not because I didn't love Nick,
and not because I didn't love the idea of it...
but just because I wasn't ready to love myself.
There's a distance to it all now.
A wistful distance, underscored by a gentle breeze...
Actors in position.
and the sound of the birds...
Music out.
laughing at the whimsy of it all.
- Lesley? - What?
I think I'm hard.
No, you're not, it's just sometimes you don't consider other peoples feelings.
No, no, no. I'm getting hard... feel that.
What?! You've got to be kidding.
Let's really do it. Let's really fuck.
No, are you crazy?!
I know! It'll be incredible! It'll be real.
Cut it out! I'm serious, Mike.
Don't call me Mike. Call me Mel. Mel!
Get off!
Terri! Terri!
Terri, I know you're in there!
Get off me! Get off!
- Ed? - Why?
- What are you doing here? - I just need you to tell me why.
Take it easy, Ed. Take it easy. I know this is hard.
Shut up! Shut...
- Shut up! - OK. Just-just don't do anything stupid.
Eddie, please!
What's the matter with me? Why do I always end up having to beg people to love me?
Eddie, please, give me the gun.
Look at me.
I was drowning. I'm just not capable of...
You... you deserve to be loved, Eddie. You do.
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
Now I spend every fucking minute praying
to be somebody else. Somebody I'm not!
Anybody.
OK. J-just put the gun down, Ed. She just doesn't love you anymore.
You don't, do you?
No.
And you never will.
I'm sorry.
I don't exist.
I'm not even here.
None of this even matters. I don't exist. I don't exist.
- Ed... - I don't exist.
Ed! Eddie, Eddie, don't do that!
You're such an asshole!
What? That's the best I've seen you, ever.
Why would you do that?! We were onstage!
What the fuck?! It's like my head's a jar of Bolognese!
Hand me the blood rig. I'll fix it.
...they're fucking in a motel room.
You can't get it up in six months
and now you want to fuck me in front of 800 strangers?!
Look. I need it to feel real, OK? I need that intensity. You've known that about me
- Oh, fuck you! - from the beginning.
I was in the moment. I thought that you were, too.
I'm sorry.
I told you to stop, you fucking animal.
And you were brilliant. Brilliant.
What is wrong with you?!
I want your shit out of the apartment.
What? Hey, no, no, no, wait. OK. Look, look, look, look, look. I'm sorry. Can we just...
No, we can't, Mike! You know, maybe up here, you're Mr. Truth...
but in the real world, where it counts, you're a fucking fraud!
How's that feel for truth, you dick?!
- What's going on? - He's such an asshole.
What'd he do now?
Oh, nothing, he just tried to fuck me in front of an entire audience!
- Oh, my God! - Right?
That's kinda hot!
Why don't I have any self-respect?!
You're an actress, honey.
I'm pathetic!
Look at me.
You know, I... I've always dreamed of being a Broadway actress...
since I was a little kid. And now I'm here, and I'm...
I'm not a Broadway actress,
I'm still just a little kid.
And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.
Hey.
You made it.
I did?
Sadly, it was with Mike Shiner on a fake motel bed in front of, like, 800 people, but...
- Oh, shut up. - Oh.
Oh, God.
Hey, is she OK?
Yeah, she's gonna be fine.
Look, none of this is your fault, OK?
OK, look. You're beautiful and you're talented...
and I'm lucky to have you.
OK?
- OK. - OK. OK.
That was kinda sweet.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Two years, and he's never said anything like that to me.
Hey.
You're beautiful and you're talented...
and I'm lucky to have you. OK?
We're gross.
We are.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Do it again.
Can we discuss this like two mature artists?
I mean, what, really, is the big deal about...
Fuck you!
You're not ready yet. That's fine.
Hmm.
Fuck. Actresses.
They drive me fucking crazy.
Riggan?
Riggan.
Your gun is ridiculous. I can see the red plug in the barrel...
so you look like a kid, with a plastic toy, when you point it at me.
I don't feel threatened, at all.
Get a better one. Have some self-respect.
Please.
Hey, apart from that, uh...
I thought it was a pretty fun crowd, huh?
I don't think it's high enough.
Me, neither.
What are you doing up here?
Uh, adrenaline?
I just got out of rehab. It's the closest thing I get to a drug.
- You went to rehab? - Yeah.
Cool.
It wasn't all Dr. Drew or anything,
- but that dude from American Pie was there. - Yeah?
Jump!
Eat me!
OK, then jump on my face!
I love this city.
Yeah?
Why do you act like such a dick all the time?
Do you just do it to antagonize people?
Maybe.
You really don't give a shit if people like you or not.
Not really.
That's cool.
Is it? I... I don't know.
Hey.
Hey!
What?
Let's play a game.
- A game? - Mmm-hmm.
What are you, eight?
What are you, 78?
- Truth or dare. - Oh, come on. Let's, let's...
- Truth or dare? - Oh.
Truth.
When we first met, you made a comment about my ass.
Why did you do that?
You have a terrific ass, and I noticed that.
And I just commented on it.
- Truth or dare? - Dare.
- Really? - Yeah.
OK.
OK. There's a bald guy. He's gonna walk right under you.
I want you to... spit on his head.
- No. - You said dare.
- Truth. - No, it's too late.
- Happy? - Yeah.
Ew!
Truth or dare?
- Truth. - You're boring.
The truth is always interesting.
Uh...
Do you wanna fool around with me?
No.
Really?
Why not?
- That's a second question. - It's a second part.
I'd be afraid I couldn't get it up.
That didn't seem to be a problem for you onstage.
That's because nothing is a problem for me, onstage.
I wanna ask another question.
You already asked another question.
- One more. - Go ahead.
If you weren't afraid, what would you want to do to me?
I'd pull your eyes out of your head...
That's sweet.
I'd put them in my own skull...
and look around, so I could see the street
the way I used to, when I was your age.
Good night.
Don't kill the messenger.
He's an asshole.
I told you.
You fucking prick.
He's playing you, Riggan.
This is it?
Page 12. Page 12.
"Riggan Thomson, better known as the face of Birdman,
"tries not to lay an egg on Broadway.“
- Where's the rest of it? - There is no rest of it.
Don't worry, somebody'll be using that to scoop up dog shit, tomorrow.
How can you be so calm about this?
What are my other choices?
- Aren't you scared at all, Laura? - About what?
About being humiliated out there!
It won't be the first time I've been humiliated.
Well, of course it won't.
You're an asshole.
And, by the way, I'm not pregnant,
so there's one thing you don't have to worry about.
Forget about her.
He stole your front page.
He's stealing your show. He thinks you're a joke.
Now two million people agree with him.
Maybe you are, Riggan. Maybe that's what you are... a joke.
Whoa! What the hell is going on?
- Get up! - Hey! Ow! That hurts!
- Get up! - Back away!
So, Carver's the reason you became an actor, huh?
Listen to me. This is my fucking show.
I did the work. I raised the money. I arrange the fucking press!
Oh, Jesus. They called me for an interview.
I told them the first thing that came into my head.
Really?
The cover of the Arts section, for Christ's sake!
You told them the first thing that came into your... Fuck the Arts section!
You told them the first thing that came into your head?
Right. Because that's you, Mike, right?
You're Mr. Natural. Mr. Fuck-the-scene-
just-stare-at-my-massive-hard-on. Right?
That's truth of the moment.
Did you think it looked massive?
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up!
You don't get hard on my stage, unless I tell you to.
Your stage? Oh, let me tell you something.
This stage has belonged to a lot of great actors, but you are not one of them, pal.
So you wrote your own lines, huh?
I did, actually.
You wrote a few changes and you mumbled a little bit, you self-absorbed prick.
Hey! I'm self-absorbed? Look at you.
You nobody, spiteful piece of shit!
Nobody?
Yeah. My massive hard-on got 50,000 views on YouTube.
A cat playing with a dildo gets more than that. Get the fuck outta here.
- I don't care. - Yes, you do! You care.
- I'm a theater actor. - I don't give a shit. You care.
Everybody says, "Oh, Mike is so honest.
- "Mike is so motherfucking truthful!" - Ow! Hey, hey!
You said in the interview your father was a drunk like Carver.
Is that true, Mike? Is that true?
No. No. 'Cause my father was.
My father was a mean fucking drunk. You understand?
He beat the shit out of us.
That was OK, though, because at least when he was beating us...
he wasn't thinking about taking us out to his toolshed.
Because when we got to the toolshed...
that son of a bitch would smile and say:
"You wanna get down on your knees and unbuckle my belt,
"or do you want me to take it off and use it on you?"
After a while, I made myself numb, so, you know. But my...
my little sister...
OK. OK. OK. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Oh, God.
Uh, I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That's-that's fucking horrible, man. I'm sorry.
- It's also not true. See, I can pretend, too. - Oh!
Don't fuck with me, Mike. I'm telling you.
You're a little bit crazy. You should start using that onstage.
Yeah, you have no fucking idea.
"Working with Riggan Thomson's
"like Waltzing with a monkey?" Huh?
I might have said that.
Yeah, you might? Come on, let's go.
- Come on. - Yeah?
Yeah.
Why don't you get your wings and your fucking bird suit, man?
Ow!
I'm gonna crab up on your ass and choke you out. I'm gonna fucking choke you out!
- Get off of me. - What are you looking at?
What are you going to do, you gonna replace me?!
You gonna get fucking Ryan Gosling or some shit?!
What do you think my fiend Tabitha will do to you in the Times,
you fucking dilettante!
You are lame, Riggan...
rolling around with that poncy theater fuck...
in an 800-seat shithole like this.
Oh, you really fucked up this time.
You destroy a genius book with that infantile adaptation.
Now you're about to destroy what's left of your career.
It's pathetic.
Breathing in, I am calm.
Let's get the hell out of here while we can.
I ignore this mental formation.
This is a mental formation.
Stop that shit!
I'm not a mental formation. I'm you, asshole.
Leave me alone.
You were a movie star, remember?
- Pretentious, but happy. - I wasn't happy.
Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.
I was fucking miserable.
Yeah, but fake miserable. Hollywood miserable.
What are you trying to prove?
That you're an artist? Well, you're not.
Fuck you!
No, fuck you, you coward.
We grossed billions! What're you, ashamed of that? Billions!
And billions of flies eat shit every day!
So what? Does that make it good?
I don't know if you noticed, but that was 1992!
You could jump right back into that suit, if you wanted to. We're not dead.
Oh, look at me! Look at this! Look, look, look!
I look like a turkey with leukemia!
I'm fucking disappearing.
This is what's left!
I'm the answer to a fucking Trivial Pursuit question!
You're an imposter here.
Eventually they're gonna figure you out.
What part of this don't you get? You're dead.
We are not dead.
Oh, please, just stay dead.
We are not dead.
Stop saying "we!" There is no "we!"
I'm not fucking you! I'm Riggan fucking Thomson!
No, you're Birdman.
Because without me, all that's left is you...
a sad, selfish, mediocre actor...
"grasping at the last vestiges of his career.
What the hell did you do that for? I liked that poster.
It's always "we," brother.
Fuck you!!! Shut the fuck up!
Leave me alone!
You're fucking, so fucking annoying! Shut up!!
Hey. What's up?
Um, well...
one hour till curtain. Why don't you rest a little bit?
Yeah, I'm gonna lay down.
- Almost there, buddy. Last preview. - OK. Cool.
- How you doing? - Good. Great.
Good. The money came through. I just need to transfer it into the account.
There you go, thank you.
So... yeah, I'll go, uh, do that.
Thanks for stopping by.
- Yeah. - OK.
You know I'm proud of you, don't you?
This took balls.
- And you did it, OK? - I know.
Hey, I think we oughtta cancel the preview.
I'm tired, dude. I can't do this anymore, Jake.
I can't.
That's a joke, right?
You know, I don't think this is for me. The whole...
They're laughing at me.
There is a three-block line of people waiting for you.
It's a-it's a full house. W-w-we're sold out!
- Really? - Yes!
And the French Ambassador's coming.
And the Prince of Saudi Arabia's bringing one of his wives.
And I didn't wanna tell you this, but Martin Scorsese...
is casting his new film, and, you know... Don't tell anybody.
- No, I won't. - OK?
OK?
OK. Yeah, yeah, I can be ready. I can be ready.
- Good. - Thank you.
How is he?
He'll be fine.
Poor creature.
Is it true? Scorsese?
Yeah. And the new Pope, too.
You're an asshole, Jake!
I'm the one keeping this afloat!
Hey.
Are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah.
No, I-I... think I cut my hand shaving.
Well, I-I-I just wanted to say... I'm sorry.
What for?
Well..
I knew what Mike was capable of
and... I brought him in, anyway.
No, no, no, no, no. You did good.
Are you kidding? You did great.
Tomorrow's my first opening night on Broadway.
Mine, too.
And I just want to let you know that, no matter what happens, that...
I'm really grateful to you.
Oh, no, no. Me, too.
Hey, this is exciting.
We have a full house. Jake just told me.
Yeah, it's great.
Oh, God.
For fuck's sake, just jump already.
How'd you know I'd be up here?
Well, I didn't know, but I... kinda hoped, maybe.
Where's Lesley?
Lesley? Uh, Lesley's moving on.
Smart girl.
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that support.
You ready for your last preview?
Sure, yeah.
Who did that to you?
Could have been anybody, I guess.
Yes.
I'm sort of hoping it was Lesley.
Well, it wasn't Lesley.
Oh, my God.
- Are you fucking kidding me? - No.
- Jesus Christ! - No, no. I-I...
I think maybe I deserved it.
Fuck.
Hey.
Fuck.
Tell me something. What i...
What is the worst thing that he did to you?
Seriously.
He was never around.
Yeah? I mean, so what? That was it?
No. It was... how he tried to make up for it
by constantly trying to convince me that I was special.
OK. Look.
Look at me.
He was right, though.
About what?
About your being special.
You know, you-you've been hanging around here...
trying to make yourself invisible
behind this fragile little fuck-up routine, of yours...
but you can't.
You're anything but invisible. You're big.
You're kind of a great mess.
It's like a candle burning on both ends, but it's beautiful.
No amount of booze or weed or attitude is gonna hide that.
I'm glad you're an actor and not a writer, 'cause that was, like...
Oprah...
Hallmark..
R. Kelly, bad.
Yeah, well, I wasn't...
Truth or dare?
- Truth. - No.
Truth or dare?
Do you have any idea where you're going?
Absolutely not.
How do you do it?
Do what?
How do you go out there, every single night,
and pretend to be somebody else, in front of all those people?
I don't pretend out there. I told you.
I pretend just about every place else, but not out there.
That's a shame.
What are we doing here?
What do you mean?
I mean, what are we doing here?
Fucking teenagers.
By the time we got to the hospital, the kid was dead.
So, we took the old couple up to the OR.
And we... worked like hell on them...
through most of the night.
The husband, the old man, was depressed for the longest time.
Even after I told him the wife was gonna pull through, he was still depressed.
So, I went up to the mouth hole and I asked him.
And he told me it was because he couldn't see her...
the wife, through the eye holes.
Can you imagine?
I'm telling you, this guy's heart was breaking...
because he couldn't turn his goddamn head, just to see his goddamn wife.
So...
I guess the question... we should ask ourselves is...
what do we talk about, when we talk about love?
Mel and I had been together five years...
and I don't know how many times I've heard the words "I love you,"
but it wasn't 'til that night...
- Blood rig should be good now. - OK.
Be ready to go in two minutes.
That was amazing!
- Yeah, good, right? - Yeah.
It's actually going well.
Yeah.
I, uh...
think we need to talk.
No, no.
Yeah, I guess you're right...
but we will eventually, because that's the only way
I'm gonna get a chance to say I'm sorry.
I really am sorry.
We could've made great parents.
Horrible. We'd have been...
awful. We would've raised, like...
- a serial killer. - Or Justin Bieber.
I really wanted to be a mom.
But my body doesn't seem to agree.
When I imagined myself on Broadway,
I never saw the dancing reindeer.
Nice touch.
In the days before Nick's depression started to eat away at him...
he had no idea I was pregnant...
and I never intended on telling him.
I guess we make choices in life,
and we choose to live with them.
Or not.
I didn't want that baby.
Not because I didn't love Nick, and not because
I didn't love the idea of it, but because...
I just wasn't ready to love myself.
There's a distance to it, now.
Hey, Jimmy, you got a smoke?
Jimmy!
Hey!
Jimmy! Jimmy!
Jimmy!!
Hey!
Shit!
Fuck!
Fuck.
Hey, aren't you Riggan Thomson?
Holy shit, let me get an autograph.
Don't be a dick. Give me an autograph.
Dude, you fucking rock!
Birdman!
Oh, shit!
Oh, my God! You know who that is?
Oh, can we take one picture!
Just one picture! Kids, get next to him!
You suck!
You suuuuck!
Riggan, we're going to miss him.
It's the Bird-fucking-man! Hey, come look at this guy!
Birdman! Hey, Birdman, whooo, look at that!
Where you going, man?
You look so old in person.
Fuck you!
Sir! Sir! Where are you going?
Sir! Where are you? Sir!
What are you doing?
I'm waiting for Jake. This is my attorney, Mr. Roth.
We're pursuing financial remunerations for the injuries...
- I got a play to do! - Excuse me?
Sir, you can't go in there!
Actors Equity is a very strong union, sir!
Knock, knock, knock! Terri! Terri!
Ed?
What are-what are you doing here?
Why?! I just need you to tell me why?
Take it easy, Ed. I know this is hard.
Shut up! Fuck you! Shut up!
Shut up!
Eddie, please!
What's wrong with me?!
Why do I always... beg people to love me?
Eddie, please, just... please, just give me the gun.
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
Now, I spend every fucking day...
trying to be somebody else, somebody I'm not!
Put the gun down. She doesn't love you!
Eddie.
Look at me. I was drowning.
I-I'm just not capable of that kind of...
You deserve to be loved, Eddie. You do.
- I just wanted to be what you wanted. - Hello?
Mr. Roth? OK, don't-don't leave, please don't...
Is that a threat? What wheelchair?
OK, Mr. Roth, please, just hear me out. Will you hear me out?
Don't hang up. Don't hang up. OK, listen.
Give me 10 minutes to grab my things,
give me 10 minutes, and we can meet to discu... Please, don't hang up.
Goddamn it! The motherfucker hung up!
Dad.
Dad!
Hey!
Are you... OK?
Why?
You... s-seem sort of...
No, I'm good, I'm good.
This is good. You want some?
No.
OK.
Do you really think you'll be ready for opening tomorrow?
Yeah. Yep.
Yeah, well, I mean...
previews were pretty much a train wreck.
We can't seem to get through a performance, without...
a raging fire or a raging hard-on. I'm broke.
I'm not sleeping, like, you know... at all.
And, uh, this play is kinda starting to feel like a...
miniature, deformed version of myself that just keeps...
following me around and, like...
hitting me in the balls with a, like, a tiny little hammer.
I'm sorry, what was the question?
Never mind.
Tonight wasn't bad.
I know.
It was weird, but it was kind of cool.
Yeah, really, you think?
- Yeah, I think people liked it. - Yeah, well...
What are you doing, by the way? Homework?
No, I don't..
No, um... When I was in rehab, they made us do this.
Really? What is it?
It's, um... These dashes represent the six billion years
that the Earth has been around.
And so, each dash represents a thousand years.
And, um, this... is how long humans have been here.
150,000 years.
I think they're trying to remind us that
that's all our ego and self-obsession are worth.
I was a shitty father, wasn't I?
No, you were...
You were fine.
Yeah.
That's right, I was... I was just fine.
Um...
I can't...
- Dad? - What?
Oh, shoot. Ow! I'm sorry.
You just wiped out the entire human race.
There it goes. I'm sorry.
Hey, um...
You're becoming a trending topic.
Really?
I should probably tell you about this before anybody else does.
350,000 views in less than an hour.
Fuck.
Believe it or not, this is power.
Hey, look it's Riggan Thomson!
Whoa! Look at that.
One million, three hundred thousand hits in the last 2 hours.
What you're seeing is Birdman actor, Riggan Thomson
- running through the streets... - Hey, gimme another one.
You got it.
Oh, come on. That takes a lot of balls.
- Or not. - Ouch!
What do you need to get a job, in this town, these days?
I know, I mean, why do actors have to resort to this? Come on.
That's going over to Ms. Dickinson.
Yeah. Yeah. Give me a minute.
Hey, um, that's on me. She's a friend of mine.
- OK. - No problem.
Thank you.
That was...
twenty years before I put on that goddamn outfit.
I don't care.
OK. I was... just...
You... you know, before you come tomorrow night.
- It doesn't matter. - OK.
I'm gonna destroy your play.
But you didn't even see it.
Um, you know, did I do something to offend you?
As a matter of fact, you did.
You took up space, in a theater, which otherwise,
might have been used on something worthwhile.
OK. Well... I mean, you don't even know if it's any good or not. I didn't...
That's true. I haven't read a word of it, or even seen a preview...
but after the opening tomorrow,
I'm going to turn in the worst review anybody has ever read.
And I'm going to close your play.
Would you like to know why?
Because I hate you, and everyone you represent.
Entitled, selfish, spoiled children.
Blissfully untrained, unversed and unprepared...
to even attempt real art.
Handing each other awards for cartoons and pornography.
Measuring your worth in weekends?
Well, this is the theater.
And you don't get to come in here and pretend
you can write, direct and act...
in your own propaganda piece
without coming through me first.
- Ah. - So break a leg.
Wow. You know, what has to happen in a person's life
for them to become a critic, anyway?
What are you writing, another review?
Huh? Is it any good?
Is it? Is it bad? Did you even see this? Let me read it.
- I will call the police. - No, you won't call the police.
Let's read your fucking review.
"Callow." Callow is a label.
"Lackluster." That's just a label.
Margin... "Marginalia"? Are you kidding me?
It sounds like you need penicillin to clear that up.
That's a label, too. These are just all labels. You just label everything.
That's so fucking lazy. You're just... you're a lazy fucker.
You're a lazy...
Do you know what this is? Do you even know what that is?
You don't. You know why?
Because you can't see this thing
if you don't know how to label it.
You mistake all those little noises in your head, for true knowledge.
- Are you finished? - No, I'm not finished.
There's nothing in here about technique. There's nothing in here about structure...
nothing in here about intention. It's just a bunch of crappy opinions...
backed up by even crappier comparisons.
You write a couple of paragraphs, and you know what?
None of this costs you fucking anything.
You risk nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing!
Well, I'm a fucking actor.
This play cost me everything.
So I'll tell you what. You take this fucking...
malicious, cowardly...
shittily written review and you shove that right the fuck up...
your wrinkly... tight ass.
You're no actor, you're a celebrity.
Let's be clear on that.
I'm gonna kill your play.
Tomorrow...
and tomorrow...
and tomorrow,
Creeps in this...
petty pace...
from day to day...
to the last... syllable...
of recorded time;
And...
all of our yesterdays...
have lighted...
fools...
Gimme a pint of whiskey, please.
the way to dusty death.
Out... out...
$6.50, my friend.
- Huh? - $6.50.
Here, just, uh, uh... just take that.
But your...
Life is but a walking shadow,
A poor...
player...
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage...
and then is heard...
no more!
It is a tale...
told by an idiot...
full of sound and fury...
signifying nothing!
Where you going, man? Was that too much?
I was just trying to give you a range.
It's a little bit too much. I can tell, because you...
I just wanted to give you a range. I just...
That was a little too much. That was a little too much.
God... you look like shit, brother.
You get that mongoloid look when you're hung over. Don't ya?
Huh-huh. Yeah.
Let's go! Come on. Get up.
It's a beautiful day.
Forget about the Times... everyone else has.
Come on! Stand up!
So you're not a great actor. Who cares?
You're much more than that.
You tower over these other theater douchebags.
You're a movie star, man!
You're a global force! Don't you get it?
You spent your life building a bank account
and a reputation, and you blew 'em both.
Good for you.
Fuck it. We'll make a comeback.
They're waiting for something huge. Well, give it to them.
Shave off that pathetic goatee. Get some surgery!
Sixty's the new thirty, motherfucker.
You're the original, man. You paved the way for these other little clowns.
Give the people what they want...
some good old-fashioned apocalyptic porn.
Birdman: The Phoenix Rises.
Pimple-faced gamers creaming in their pants.
A billion worldwide, guaranteed!
You are larger than life, man.
You save people from their boring, miserable lives.
You make them jump, laugh, shit their pants.
All you have to do is...
That's what I'm talking about.
Bones rattling! Big, loud, fast!
Look at these people, at their eyes... they're sparkling.
They love this shit. They love blood. They love action.
Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit.
Yes.
And the next time you screech...
it'll explode into millions of eardrums.
You'll glimmer on thousands of screens around the globe.
Another blockbuster.
You are a god.
See? There you go, you motherfucker.
Gravity doesn't even apply to you.
Wait till you see the faces of those who thought we were finished.
Listen to me. Let's go back one more time
and show them what we're capable of.
We have to end it on our own terms... with a grand gesture.
Flames. Sacrifice.
Icarus.
You can do it.
You hear me?
You are...
Birdman!
Hey! Is this for real, or are you shooting a film?
A film!
You people are full of shit!
Hey, man, can I help you?
You should be careful.
Sorry, I can't talk. I'm late.
Music.
You OK, man?
You want me to call somebody for you?
Do you know where to go?
Yeah.
I know where to go.
Oh! Hey! No, wait! What the fu...!
Oh! Oh!
Whoa! Ha, ha, ha ha!
You see?
This is where you belong.
Above them all.
Hey, you! Hey!
Stop the music.
Hey, hey, hey!
I beg your pardon?
Hello, sir? Hello!
Sir, you did not pay me!
What are you doing? Where you going? Hey!
Hey, you deaf, idiot?
This guy didn't pay me, man. He's fucking crazy!
Not a bad first act, huh?
Not bad at all.
It's going really well.
I didn't think he could do Broadway.
I never would have expected it, from him.
If the 2nd act is half as good as that...
it's pretty glorious.
What do we talk about when we talk about Riggan Thomson?
How long's the intermission?
Birdman can act.
Oh! Whoa.
I just came to say hello.
It's going great out there. You're so good.
I mean it. You're... I really mean it.
Places for the final scene, Riggan. Places for the final scene.
Do you need to...?
No, it's fine. Just sit here for a second.
Look at all these roses.
I hate roses.
And you hate roses.
Are you OK? You seem...
You seem... I don't know, you seem abnormally calm.
I am calm.
I am great, actually.
You know...
I got this... little voice... talks to me sometimes.
Tells me the truth.
It's comforting.
Kind of scary, but it's comforting.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that.
OK.
You wouldn't believe the crowd outside.
They said some people paid up to $500 a ticket.
Really?
Hey.
- Can I tell you something funny? - Sure.
You remember our last anniversary party?
Seriously? You're gonna ruin a nice moment, with that?
Do you remember the party?
The party where you fucked Janet Rossbach, in our bed.
Try to skip over that part.
Oh, gladly.
And you threw all the guests out of the house...
and you threw all the furniture out the window.
- I remember... - And you locked yourself in the bathroom.
Riggan. Why are we talking about...
I drove out to...
Malibu.
And I just sat on the beach, for a while, looking out at the ocean.
Riggan.
And I... walked...
straight into the water.
And then I tried to drown myself.
I was up to my chest when I felt the first one.
On my back, it was like somebody was
holding a frying pan against me and really burning.
And then they were on my chest and all over my legs.
The water was full of jellyfish.
They were all over me.
I-I had to fight my way out of the water and went up to the... beach.
I was rolling around like a maniac in the sand...
crying.
You said it was a sunburn.
Yeah, I know. And you believed me.
To be honest, I didn't give a shit.
I love you.
And I love Sam.
I know.
I really wish I wouldn't have videotaped her birth, though.
Why?
'Cause...
I just missed the moment, really.
I don't have it.
I should have just been there with the two of you.
You know... just the three of us.
But I wasn't.
I wasn't even present in my own life, and now I don't have it...
and, I'm never gonna have it.
You have Sam.
Not really, I don't. I mean, she's...
No, no, no. Listen, she's just going through...
No, I get it, I understand.
I know she needed to have a dad...
and instead she got this guy who was...
a three-day viral sensation.
- It is so pathetic, I can't... - No. Come on.
There are things more pathetic things than that.
Yeah, like?
That moustache.
Riggan, we are in the motel.
Last scene has started. You're not here.
Last chance for "places."
You better get back to your seat.
Twenty little leopards laughed at two lofty lions.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum...
Break a leg, Mr. Thomson.
Let me put the blood rig on? Hey!
Hey!
Riggan!
Hey!
Terri!
Eddie! What are you doing here?
Why? I just want you to tell me why. Just tell me why.
- Shut up! - Eddie, please!
What's the matter with me?
Tell me what's the matter. Why do I always end up having to beg people to love me?
Eddie, please, give me the gun.
It was me. I was drowning. I'm just not capable of...
You deserve to be loved, Eddie. You do.
I just wanted to be what you wanted. What you wanted.
Now I spend every fucking minute trying
to be something else, something I'm not.
Just put the gun down, Ed.
She doesn't love you anymore.
You don't, do you?
No.
And you never will.
I'm sorry.
Ah.
I don't exist.
I'm not even here.
Bang!
Yes?
Is he up?
He just woke up.
I thought I lost you, buddy.
What the hell happened?
I was watching you on that stage and then, all of a sudden...
you had that goofy look in your eye and you were just, like...
What is wrong with you? He tried...
I'm happy! He's alive! My best friend is alive! And...
he happens to be, the fucking man of the hour.
What is that?
You have to be shitting me.
Read it.
I don't believe this. "The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance"?
Read it.
"By Tabitha Dickinson."
Read it out loud!
"Thomson has unwittingly given birth
"to a new form, which can only be described as...
"super-realism.
"Blood was spilled both literally and metaphorically
"by artist and audience, alike.
"Real blood.
"The blood that has been sorely missing
"from the veins of the American theater..."
You're happy about this?
Happy? I'm fucking euphoric!
This is the-this is the kind of review that turns people into living legends!
He shot the nose off his face!
He's got a new nose!
And if he doesn't like that one, we'll get him a new one!
We'll use Meg Ryan's guy. Who gives a shit?
They're lighting candles for him in Central Park.
Turn on your TV. Where's the...
...a spontaneous vigil for actor Riggan Thomson.
They're praying for him all across the country. He did it. You did it!
I've been reborn, brother. And I can see the future.
This play is gonna last forever.
It's gonna open in London and Paris,
and the studio is gonna call again and
we're gonna get some book deals... you'll see.
So you can see the future?
Yeah, I can see the future!
How about that, huh? Did you see that coming?
Why aren't you saying anything?
This is what you wanted, wasn't it?
Riggan, this is what you wanted.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is what I wanted.
OK, listen. You're gonna get hit
with a "brandishing a weapon" charge. OK?
If anybody talks to you about it, it was an accident.
Is that what this was?
- An accident? - An accident. That's what I wanna film...
Did you intend to shoot yourself!
You motherfuckers, this is a hospital! Get the fuck out of here!
This is a hospital!
Get the fuck out, you assholes!
Out! This is a personal matter!
A personal matter!
I don't give a shit!
Hey, Sam! What did you feel like
the night your father tried to kill himself?
Lilacs.
- Are you laughing? - Yeah.
What's so funny?
I can't smell them.
What are you doing?
I'm posting a photo of you on your Twitter page.
I have a Twitter page?
Yeah, I set it up today.
- Let me see. - No way.
No. You look hideous.
Oh, wow, thank you. I appreciate it.
I'm just kidding.
No, I'm actually not. You-you do look hideous.
You got 80,000 followers, in less than a day.
- Really? - Yeah.
I'm gonna scare the shit out of all of them.
Let me look at it.
Mmm-mmm. It's done.
- Uh, I'm gonna go get a vase, for the flowers. - OK.
Move my...
Bye-bye... and fuck you.
Dad?
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